Hewas still there, but given the condition of his room, it felt like he wasalready gone. The dirty clothes usually strewn across the floor were missing,his closet was empty, and his laptop was gone from the desk. I was glad Iwouldn’t be here to witness him really being gone. I wasn’t sure I’d be able tohandle the quiet. After two months, I’d forgotten what it was like.
“Yeah,”he replied, nodding and slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “I still wishI was going with you, though.”
“Iknow, kid.”
Iwrapped my arm around his shoulders and steered him out of the bedroom,shutting off the light and heading to the basement stairs.
Afterwhat Tabby had said about him being better off with me, even on tour, I didconsider it. But thanks to the courts taking their time to grant me my paternalrights, I still wasn’t legally allowed to make any decisions regarding hisschooling. It fucking sucked, but the law is the law.
“Howdoes your aunt feel about taking Dweezil until I get home?” I asked, chucklingto myself about the idea of Tabby having to take care of a ten-week-old puppy.
“Oh,she’sthrilled. Can’t wait,” and he laughed as we reached the top of thestairs and the yellow Lab began to yap tirelessly from his living room crate. “She’sgoing to especially love that sound. Maybe she’ll be cooler about letting meplay my drums when she’s listening to Dweezy all night.”
Icouldn’t get Greyson a tattoo for his sixteenth birthday—not without legalguardianship. So, I got him a puppy instead, although I will admit the dog wasmostly for me. Greyson’s just the guy I use to clean up after him, under theguise of him needing more chores around the house. Greyson had disagreed withthat sentiment, but he was happy to have Dweezil.
“Iwouldn’t hold my breath on that one, kid,” I laughed, entering the living roomand releasing Dweezil from his crate. The puppy took off in a yellow blurtoward the kitchen. “Take him out and let him pee before we hit the road,okay?”
“Yep,”Greyson replied, grabbing Dweezil’s leash and chasing after him.
Droppingdown to the couch, I let my head fall back as I grabbed my phone and checked formessages. My sisters were teasing me about seeing Tabby for the first timesince the shit hit the fan. Asking if I was ready to have my balls handed backto me yet, to which I replied, “She never had them in the first place,” butthat was a lie and we all knew it. Still, they were kind and didn’t rub it intoo much.
Theguys were all excited to be back on the road, especially Dev and Ky, but it waseasier for them. What were they leaving behind? Even their cat went on the roadwith us. I fantasized about my time of having no strings attached, with nothingto ground me back home, and I can’t say I missed it. But, fuck, it hurt tothink I wouldn’t see Greyson, outside of video chatting, until Halloween.
Ihad promised I’d see him, and that we could do something cool. I was going tokeep that promise.
Scrollingthrough my phone, there was a message from Tabby. I opened it with a touch ofreluctance, the way I always opened her messages. They never said anythingother than a question about Greyson, or a curt “how are you,” but I alwaysimagined that maybe one day, she’d tell me she changed her mind. Or maybe thatshe’d take back that one little word that had crushed my soul weeks ago. Shenever did though, and every time, I’d still find myself disappointed, but atleast she was talking to me. As long as she was talking, I told myself therewas hope.
Tabby:Drive safe. Can’t wait to see you guys.
Istared at the message for way longer than necessary. A well wish. Acan’twait to see you. It might’ve meant nothing, and yet, it felt as though it couldmean everything.
Greysoncame in from the backyard with Dweezil leading the way. I asked if he peed, andGreyson nodded. “He pooped too,” he informed me, and I breathed a sigh ofrelief.
“ThankGod. The last thing I wanted was for my car to smell like dog shit.”
***
Wedrove into Hog Hill like it was a memory from a long time ago. It felt hazy,and yet, all too familiar. Greyson confirmed he felt the same way, commenting onhow it was weird being back, after spending virtually the entire summer in myhouse and with my family.
“It’llfeel normal again in a few days,” I assured him. “It always feels weird cominghome from the road, but before I know it, I’m happy as fuck to be sleeping inmy own bed again. And cooking. Shit, I’mreallygoing to miss cookingall the time.”
“Idon’t think there’s any way I’m going to be happy sleeping in that crappy oldbed again,” Greyson mumbled.
Passingthrough main street and driving by TC Real Estate, I thought of popping in, theway I had that first day. I wanted to say hi to Jess and Alex, for no otherreason than to ask how Tabby had been all this time, if she and Roman had seeneach other. Fuck, maybe they were even together, dating exclusively and gettingready to elope on some private island somewhere.
Inever asked Greyson about what she’d been doing, and he never told me. It wasbetter I didn’t know, but that never stopped me from wondering, and right now,I was wondering a lot.
Wepulled up to her house and Greyson sighed. “I’m not ready,” he mumbled, and I reachedout to grip the back of his neck.
“It’sgoing to be fine,” I promised, but what was I promising? That school wouldn’tsuck? That it wouldn’t be weird readjusting to his aunt’s house? I didn’t knowthat either of those things wouldn’t happen, so the promise felt empty and cruel.
“Whatif she talks shit about you?” he asked, not a question I was expecting. “Whatam I supposed to do?”
“Shewon’t,” I told him, knowing her better than that. “She wouldn’t put you in thatposition.”
“Shebetter not,” he grumbled.
Ihated that he had taken sides. “Don’t give her a hard time, kid,” I warned.
