“Hmmm …” He pursed his lips. “Is a nowhere marriage reallythatdifferent than a few nowhere dates?”
“Yes! It’sverydifferent!” I laughed again, shakingmy head at his absurdity.
“Eh, I don’t think so.”
My head fell sideways, glaring at him. “Why do you have todo that?”
“Do what?” He turned to look at me.
When was the last time we had sat together in such comfortlike this? When was the last time I stared at him without the desire to lookaway?
“You keep trying to ‘level the playing field,’ and youcan’t. You’re trying to make us even, but we’re not. Wecan’tbe.”
The side of his mouth twitched upward into a half-smile.One dimple. “I don’t know what kind of marriage you think I had,Kins. We cohabitated. We raised a kid. That was about it.You already know I married out of moral obligation, not out of love, and Inever once pretended to have any feelings for her. I never once said it. Anyintimacy between us? It was forced. I mean, hell, after that first year oftryin’, ifyacan even call itthat, we didn’t even share a bed. We hardly ever talked about anything otherthan Meghan.”
My lips buttoned up. What was I supposed to say to that? Inever pictured love between them, but I had pictured passionate, anger-fueledsex. Violent, even. I pictured a showboat of love and affection for cameras andfamilies. I envisioned a life of companionship, at the very least, while I hadwallowed in self-inflicted solitude with the random date and make-out sprinkledin.
His life had been lonelier than mine. He did it for hiskid. To give her some semblance of a normal life.
He had sacrificed his life, his happiness, for his kid. Andthen, for me.
Why couldn’t he give me a reason to hate him?
“So, back to my question: Any boyfriends?”
I shook my head. “Not really, no.”
“But you dated?”
I wiped away a few hairs from my face. “A little bit. Therewere a couple guys I had seen a few times, but never anything serious.”
Nobody had known that about me, and my cheeks burned withexposure. I had found something wrong with everybody. Shallow things. Too tall,too short, too wide, too thin; Goldilocks, that’s who I was. Nobody was justright, because nobody was him.
Patrickinney.
“Good.” He smiled. “Playin’field: leveled.”
CHAPTER 15 |
Patchwork Hearts &Leprechauns
We had changedpositions, with our plates offood slowly being emptied. Sitting close, we found ourselves with our feetoutstretched on the coffee table, thighs touching.
“So, why’d you come back?”
“My dad had a heart attack. You know that.”
“But your parents have Kate and her husband—what’s his name?Evan?”
“How do you not know that?” I laughed, shaking my head.
“Selective memory,” he said with a shrug.
“Ethan.”
He nodded slowly. “That’s right—Ethan. Guess youliked that they got married in the Bahamas, huh?” He winked.
“You’re an idiot,” and I laughed again.
