“It’snice to have home-cooked meals so often, right, Holly?” Liz smiled, not at mebut at her knight wielding the crockpot.
Ichuffed at the comment, but bit my tongue as I set the table with the help ofmy two little sidekicks; Kaylee was on fork duty while Anna had the utmostimportant task of placing a napkin next to each plate.
“Girls,time to sit down,” Ben said, commanding them both with a fatherly tone, andlistening intently, I pulled out my chair and sat myself down. “Very good,Holly. You get dessert.”
“Ohyay!” I exclaimed, and turned to the two little girls still running circlesaround us and stuck out my tongue. With the mention of dessert, they scrambledto sit down, and proceeded to poke each other in the arm until they werescowling.
“Okay,enough.” Liz sat down to the side of Anna and spooned a heaping serving of stewonto their two plates. “Ben, Kaylee? Stew?” Ben passed their plates to her, andI watched as they were filled, and the four set out to eat without offering me.
Hollyfreakin’ Hughes. Invisible dinner guest.
“Stew,Holly? Oh, thank you, Holly, I’d love some,” I grumbled.
Ihad learned over those few weeks that being the fifth wheel was worse thanbeing the third, and truthfully, I had begun to feel as though I were walkingin on these private family moments that I never should have been a part of inthe first place. There were even times when I felt I should take my meals in mybedroom or at the kitchen counter, like a real member of staff would.
Liztwisted her face into an expression of apology, but before she could sayanything, Ben had big news.
“So,guess what came into the office today.” He put his fork down in anticipation ofsomeone humoring him, but Liz, Anna, and Kaylee just looked at him expectantly.“Really? Nobody’s going to guess?”
“Um… A wombat,” I spoke up. His eyes rolled to give me a sideways look fromunderneath his sandy blonde brows. “No? A platypus then?”
Hesighed, and I felt proud that I had already become that annoying sister-in-law,assuming that he and my sister actually did get married, which I was fullyexpecting.
Howmany people can say they’ve slept with their brother-in-law?
Icringed, and hoped those occasional thoughts would eventually cease to exist.
“AnIrishWolfhoundcame in today.Hugedog. Absolutelyenormous. I can’t imagine owning one of those things,” he said, rambling on tohimself with a shake of his head. He continued to fork his potatoes and meat ashe added, “This guy could put his paws on my shoulders. Do youknowhowbig that is?”
“That’sa pretty big dog, hon,” Liz agreed absentmindedly, turning her attention on me.“So, um, Holly … I wanted to talk to you about something. And don’t freak out,because this is nothing that’s going to happen for a little while, but Ithought I’d bring it up now so that you can prepare yourself.”
Shelooked worried and apprehensive, and I had to wonder if people were ever goingto stop dropping bombs onto my head, or if they could maybe give me a littlebit of time to overcome each explosion before giving me another to deal with.
“Areyou kicking me out?” was my first reaction as I put my fork down slowly,looking into my plate of stew. The thin gravy had pooled out near the edges andI regretted momentarily not bringing over bowls instead.
Lizdropped her jaw and turned to Ben quickly for backup. He shrugged, andrealizing she was on her own, she looked back to me. “Oh—no! No, that’s not it.You’ll leave on your own before I have a chance to kick you out.”
“Oh,I wouldn’t count on that,” I laughed, relaxing a little.
“No,um, I found a preschool for Anna. She’s starting next year, and this particularschool is full-day. Dr. Martin is in the process of hiring another secretary,so I’ll be changing my hours during the schoolyear to be able to pick Anna upafterward.” She watched my face expectantly, waiting intently for an expressionchange, but all I could do was sit perfectly still as the information madeitself comfortable in my brain.
“So,uh, I’m not going to need you to watch Anna after the summer,” Liz quietlyadded with an apologetic smile.
“Yeah,I figured,” I finally said, suddenly annoyed at the swirling mix of emotionsthat clouded my brain, preventing me from having anything productive to add tothe conversation. I just nodded with a shrug, as though to say, “It is what itis,” although that’s not at all what I wanted to say, and took a big bite ofstew-mushed potato.
“Thestew is really good, Ben,” I mentioned casually, dismissing any talk of myemployment situation.
“Oh,thanks! It’s actually my Mom’s recipe, but I like to add a few of my ownspecial ingredients to it …”
Fewthings in life would have made me happier than listening to Ben’s rivetingbabble about his mother’s stew recipe. I wanted nothing more than to know whereit originated from and what it was exactly he did to give it that peppery kick.Anything to keep my mind from spiraling into panic, but although I smiled andnodded with invested intrigue, I wasn’t listening to afreakin’word he was saying.
Ican’t say I had expected to be Anna’s babysitter forever. I mean, that wouldhave been pretty ridiculous to assume—she wasn’t going toneedababysitter forever, for crying out loud—but I had gotten comfortable and Ienjoyed doing what I did, even if it wasn’t the most exciting or prestigiousjob. I felt a pang of sadness at the thought of never going to Story Time againand not having a reason to watch annoyingly chipper toddler TV programs.
Ismiled, making Ben believe I cared about his endless knowledge of peppercorns,but I was thinking about how I had initially hated watching Anna and hadstrictly accepted the position—or favor, really—out of necessity. The smiledidn’t leave my face as I thought about how much I had grown to love waking upevery day knowing I was going to spend it with a fun little kid who had onlyonce stuffed poop up her nose.
Iremembered then what Brandon had said back at the diner months earlier, when hehad scolded me for talking poorly about my job and insisted that enriching thelife of a little girl was far more admirable than answering questions for astupid magazine. I smiled morosely at the memory, finding that I missed himmore with every passing day, but I allowed that memory to put an idea into myhead, and I let myself relax with the kindling of a new hope.
***
