Shewidened her smile. “You really should be. It’s just kind of—”
“Holly.”
“What?”
Ipulled her towards me and my lips brushed against hers as I spoke. “Please,shut up.”
Mymouth was once again on hers, and it was a kiss like the others we had shared,but there was something new:freedom. The freedom to express ourselveswithout worry of how the other would respond. The freedom for her fingernailsto rake along the contracting muscles on either side of my spine. The freedomfor my eager hands to move along her neck and down to the bottom of hersweater. The freedom for my aching erection to press against her without anyworry of how she might react.
Myfingers curled under the soft hem, tugging gently to urge her to lift herself,and she responded with a gentle bite against my lower lip as her hips raisedfrom the step with the simultaneous lift of her arms. I held my breath as Ipulled the garment off her body, revealing first her supple hips and thesoftness of her belly; then the faint outline of her ribcage, her skin pulledtaught over her lovely bone structure; and finally, the appearance of her bra,red and lacy in design. My arms raised with the sweater, pulling it along untilit was free of her hands and I threw it to the floor, resting with the t-shirtI had borrowed.
Iheld her hands in mine, bringing them down to rest between us while my eyestook her in. I couldn’t spend enough time memorizing every last inch of soft,alabaster skin; so perfect and statuesque, she hardly seemed real.
“Ireallydon’t feel worthy,” she laughed, her cheeks flushing at my eyes’interrogation of her body. My fingers traced the length of her inner arms,lightly running their tips along the sides of her waist, bringing her to laugh,and over the ridges of her ribs until my hands could form to the underside ofher breasts. She sighed, lolling her head slightly to one side. “Maybe I shouldjoin a gym.Thenwe could be even, providing I can stay away from thedoughnuts.”
Myhands dropped from their new favorite place and I raised my eyebrows inbafflement at her remark. I shifted our bodies, positioning her against thenosing of the step and I was facing her, between the outstretched legs thatboasted gloriously meaty thighs that gave way to slim calves. I knelt on thefloor, holding one leg in my hands, and found the zipper that ran along theinside of her boot. I pulled it down, freeing one foot from the leatherconfines.
“Doyou know how hard I have to work to look like this?” I asked her, pulling offthe sock. Her lips twisted with disgust before giggling as I brushed my lipsagainst the sensitive flesh on the top of her foot. “I have to take time out ofalmost every single day to make sure I get my ass into my gym, and I spendabout an hour in there—sometimes more—just to look likethis.”
Iplaced her foot down on the floor, and lifted the other leg, resting her bootedfoot in the hollow of my neck while my hands took their time committing everylast curve of her thigh, knee, and calf to memory. “Then of course I have tomake sure I run, especially with the way I eat, so that’s another chunk of timespent.” My fingers had made their way to the second boot, and removed it withjust as much ease as the first.
“It’snotjustyour body, though,” she replied softly. “It’s everything. Allof you is like …” It was my turn to feel on display, her eyes working their wayover every inch of me. “Art. I mean, your body is amazing, but it’s thetattoos and the hair and—” She shifted uncomfortably on the step. “And you’reobviously well off financially, and God … you treat me better thananybody ever has.”
Ilaughed through my sudden stroke of bashfulness, and slid my hands over theoutside of her calves, up the curvature of her thighs, and to the waistband ofher leggings.
“Ican’t speak for everything. I didn’taskto be this devilishlyhandsome,” I laughed and my fingers played with the thick cotton as she rolledher eyes. I gave the pants a gentle tug and I was rolling them down, my eyesimmediately falling on the lacy red panties that matched the bra she wore. “Buteverything else is the image of many hours of work—and I treat you the way youdeserveto be treated. There’s nothing special about that, but you …”
Ipulled the leggings off one leg at a time and threw them aside. Shamefully, Ihad a glimpse of Julia in my mind’s eye—the last woman I had slept with morethan five years ago in the past—and perhaps my memory had been purposelyputting an ugly spin on the way things were, or perhaps I was simply blinded bythe strength of my feelings for the woman lying before me. But in that moment,all I knew was the greatest painters the world has ever seen would have feltblessed to have had the opportunity to lay her imprint upon their canvas.
AllI knew was I had never felt my heart threaten to burst under the pressure ofbeing so much in love with someone as it did in that moment—and I was theluckiest man alive.
“You,”I continued, leaning forward and holding onto her hips, “don’t have to doanything.” I placed my lips against the inner thigh of one leg, and then theother, bringing her to utter a sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan.“You can wake up in the morning and throw your hair into a ponytail withouteven brushing it.” I kissed against her lower belly, just above the waistlineof her panties. I was rewarded with another moan, deeper and throatier than thefirst, and a hand on the back of my head. I ignored her protesting groans as Iwent further up along her body, to bring myself face to face with the breaststhat were rising and falling with anticipation of my next move.
“Youcan throw on a pair of yoga pants with holes ripped along the seams and asweatshirt with way too many stains.” My lips brushed against the top of onebreast, lingering a little against the pillow-like softness before moving tothe next. “You can have on smudged makeup from the day before because youforgot to wash off.”
Ikissed along her collarbones and up the delicate architecture of her neck toher ear, where I allowed my teeth to take part in the fun, before raising up onmy arms to look into her eyes. “You can do everything you possibly can to makeyourself invisible to everyone else, but my eyes will always find you and Iwill always see the most breathtakingly gorgeous woman I will ever look at forthe rest of my life.”
Ihadn’t intended to make her cry, but the tears flowed down the sides of herface freely, and I asked her what was wrong as I tried to keep up with theirfalling.
Shesmiled, taking my face between her hands, and shook her head. “I’ve never beenenough for anybody. Fuck, I wasted years of my life on a relationship with aman who wouldn’t even touch me. He needed to find a man to finally get what hewanted.” She laughed between sniffles. “If all I had to do was throw on somedirty clothes and maybe shower once in a while, I would have done that a longtime ago.”
Ilost myself in the ocean of her watery eyes, my hands gripping the back of herhead, tangling my fingers in the net of her hair without any desire to setmyself free. And not knowing what moment could ever come that close to beingright, I bent my head forward, resting my forehead against hers. “Can I tellyou something?”
Thequestion brought another burst of nervous laughter. “Yes.”
Itall felt like a dream suddenly, or something of an out of body experience. Iheld her hands in mine and bent my head to kiss her fingertips, treasuring eachof the slender digits with the acknowledgement that it might not all lastforever, but Christ … I could hope.
Ournear-naked bodies pressed against each other on the stairs, warm withanticipation and affection, and I hovered my lips over hers, so close I couldtaste the remainder of wine on her breath. “Hollyfreakin’Hughes ... I’m very much in love with you.”
“What?”she asked, her breath coming in short gasps. She forcefully used her hands tomove my face to look me in the eyes, as if trying to seek the truth in mywords, as if the only reasonable explanation was that I had to be lying. “Areyou serious?”
Myresponse was to sit up and pull her with me, kneeling between her bent legs. Igrabbed a hand, and brought it to my chest, placing it over the heart thatseemed to only beat her name. “This,” I said, pressing her hand firmly againstmy chest, “isyours. It has been yours from the moment I first laid eyeson you, and no matterwhathappens tonight, it will be yours until theday I die.”
Herarms flew around me, nearly knocking me off balance. I enveloped her in thestrength of my arms and buried my face in her neck. “Oh, myGod, Brandon,”she mumbled against my shoulder, her lips moving against my skin. “I love you.I love yousofreakin’ much. I don’t even knowwhen that happened, but … oh God, I love you.”
Iheld her to me and focused on the pounding of my heart, beating against theflesh of her chest.She loves me, I kept telling myself, and I knew thatto be the truth. Tiny tremors worked their way from my chest to my throat as itsettled in that she not only meant the world to me but I to her, and what afucking idiot I was to have held it all off for so long.
“Ihave to talk to you about something, Holly,” I croaked through a dry throat. Mymouth moved against her neck, and she sighed at the touch, working her handsinto my hair. My body responded to the gentle tugging and despite the deepbreathing I had been exercising, I couldn’t fight back the part of my body thatdidn’t agree with having a conversation that could prevent what it had beenwaiting months to do. But still, I said, “It’s serious, and I think it shouldhappen now.”
