Themost important person in my life.
Hishands rubbed my back and he kissed the top of my head. It wasn’t meant to beseductive, but every second that went by, I was feeling more and more arousedby his need to hold me, and I remembered why I was there. I let my hands runthe length of his back, the soft fabric of his worn-in t-shirt gliding under myfingers.
“Ben,”I mumbled against his chest.
Hepulled away, so that there was only just a whisper of space between us. Ilifted my head, tilting my chin upward, looking into his eyes. He bent hisneck, his mouth barely touching my lips, and he hovered there.
“Yourex-boyfriend is an idiot,” he whispered, his eyes gazing into mine.
Therewas something in the way he spoke, or maybe it was the flame reflected in hiseyes, but whatever it was, it was the final straw. With a lust that traced frommy fingertips all the way down to the soles of my feet, I thrust my lipsagainst his, needing to forget about everything but how desperate I was to feelwanted.
Withinseconds of frenzied passion-driven kissing, I felt Ben’s hands reach down tocupthe two halves my ass, hoisting me up and I wrapped mylegs around his waist. A vivid flash of memory came through of leaning againstthe side of the van, but I shoved it away, focusing entirely on Ben andcontinuing my assault on his mouth as he carried me off to—well, somewhere inhis house. Somewhere that I soon discovered was his bedroom.
Benbroke the continuous kiss to gently lay me on the bed, easing his larger frameon top of mine. I sighed as I felt him pressing against me, finding myselfcomforted by his weight, grinding his hips against mine as we resumed the tangowith our tongues.
Hiskisses left my mouth and trailed down my neck, his tongue hot and wet againstmy skin. His erection pressed against the heat between my legs, and I shiftedslightly, reaching my hand down to investigate. But just as I was seeking mydestination, just as he inhaled sharply at the feeling of someone aside fromhimself touching the most intimate part of his body, I felt something else.Something even more hard and far more painful poking me right in the ass.
“Ow!”I shouted, scrambling to get up against his weight and he jumped right off thebed.
“W-what?What’s wrong?” His hand frantically reached over to a wall and flipped on thelight. “Oh, goddammit, Kaylee,” he muttered, pulling a Barbie doll out fromwhere I had been laying. He sighed and suddenly, he sounded tired and mucholder than he was. “I’m sorry. She leaves her crap everywhere.”
Isaw in his eyes for the first time how exhausted and frustrated he was, havingto do so much on his own. And maybe I was just trying to rationalize what wewere about to do, but I felt that we both needed this; if for nothing else butfor some kind of release that nothing else was capable of providing.
Iknelt on the bed, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Shh,it’s okay,” I whispered into his ear. His arms went to my waist, burying hisface in my neck. His stubble scratched roughly against my skin in a way thatwas sure to sting the next morning, but it felt deliriously good in the moment,and I sighed.
Thenight took us from a feverish desperation for release, to a sense of presentbelonging in each other’s arms, while the bed beneath us played a tune I hadmissed more than I thought I ever could.
Myeyes had remained closed for all but one moment, and in that one brief moment,I found him looking down at me and the fervent movement of his hips slowed inpace. I felt everything from the beating of his heart against my chest to thehairs of his legs against my inner thighs, and it all became real. Before thatone single moment it could have been nothing more than a memory with Stephen,or one of my hot dreams with a young Tom Selleck. But in that moment, when myeyes met his, I was with Ben.
“God,”he breathed, looking unblinking into my eyes. One of his hands crept up tobrush my tangled hair from my face. “You are so beautiful.”
Themoment was sweet—typical Ben—and I wished I could have kept gazing into hiseyes, to feel everything, but I couldn’t bring myself to delve deeper. Instead,I dug my face into his shoulder, closing my eyes against his sweat dampenedskin, and let myself fall back into my fantasies with Tom and tried to convincemyself that it would be this way with anybody different and new.
CHAPTERNINETEEN
HOLLY
“Higher!” Anna shouted gleefullyfromher perch two feet above myhead.
Isighed through my responsible nerves. “Anna, if I push you any higher, you’regoing to flip over the swing set and Mommy won’t like getting a call from thehospital.”
“Higher!”
Grumbling,I gave her a forceful shove, sending the toddler swing only a few incheshigher, but it seemed good enough judging by her delighted screams.
Itwas unseasonably warm for November on Long Island, with the temperaturehovering somewhere around the mid-60s. The forecast was calling for a frostcome the end of the week and I figured I’d treat Anna with a trip to the parkbefore the weather became too unbearable. It wasn’t common for me to bring herto the little park in the quaint town of Brightwaters, because she had aperfectly good swing set in the backyard that she rarely had the desire to use.But on that particular day, I thought it would do us both some good to get somefresh air.
Anotherwoman seemed to have the same idea, sitting on a nearby bench while her twosmall children played on a seesaw. Whenever the kids made a noise that wouldsuggest they were having less than a good time, she’d glance up from her phoneand scold them with disgust before looking down at the screen.
“Higher!”Anna shrieked, giggling as she outstretched her arms, spreading her fingersinto the air.
“Seriously,Anna Banana, if I push you any higher, I’m going to launch you into space. I’dreally rather not explain to your mother why we have to send your dinner to themoon.”
AsAnna giggled, my phone vibrated in my back pocket. Resuming my pushingone-handed, I pulled the phone out to check who had disturbed my relaxing dayof shoving a toddler on a swing until my arms fell off, and I wasn’t surprisedto find that it was Ben.
“Heybabe, are yougonnabe around during my lunch break?”
Itwas now par for the course that he stopped by the house around noon on daysthat I didn’t take Anna to Story Time. I made sure to have her tucked snuglyinto bed for her nap, and Ben snuck in like a teenage boyfriend to grace mewith a quickie and a sandwich before heading back to work. Ourrelationship—whatever it was—had been going on for about two weeks and for themost part, it had been more or less enjoyable. More in that I had a regular sexlife that I was relatively satisfied with; less in that we didn’t seem to clickotherwise—at all.
