“Well?”
“He’s my half-brother.”
Gavel’s eyes widen, his flushed face paling.“Who?”
“Eoghan raped a seventeen-year-old.She tried to go to the police, but we know how that went.She gave birth to twins.One died, one lived.She gave him away to another family,” I relay the news monotone.
“The Sullivans,” Gavel whispers.
I nod.“We’re heading to New York.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow.”
Gavel nods and stands, a dark expression on his face.“Get me the hell out of here because you’re not doing this part alone.It’s my goddamn son.”
“You can’t ride for that long,” I point out.
“Not on a bike.As much as I don’t want to be put in a cage, I’ll endure it for this.”
Much like me, he locks what he’s truly feeling behind a wall.There will be time for us to bleed out this darkness.
The last place I want to return to is New York and that motherfucking church.There are too many memories that make my skin crawl.Nightmares that have me itching to peel my skin from my bones to erase the feel of phantom hands holding me down.
I thought I dealt with my childhood.I thought I had that shit locked up tight, but with one announcement, the memories break free from the confines I had them in.
My parents worship a fucking deity who should have slaughtered them the moment their evil touched another person.
Their pious words and actions spawned a being more monstrous than the devil.
It’s time they understood that.
Their God won’t save them any longer.
“When will you be back?”Birdie asks when I call to check in on her and the kids.
“Not sure.However long this takes.”
We’re halfway through our eighteen-hour ride when we have to stop to fill the bikes up again.There were a few wrecks along the interstate that Joker found quick detours for, but other than that the ride has been smooth sailing.Weather has held up nicely, but there’s a chance for rain over the next few hours.It won’t be our first ride through that shit, so we’re prepared.Our gear is in the cage with Hannibal, Gavel, and our clean-up crew.
The closer we get to our destination, the more every part of me shuts down.My brothers watch me warily, as if I’m going to fucking explode any moment.It feels like it the more my skin stretches tightly over my body.They don’t understand the change but are smart enough to know our destination plays a significant part of it.
“Tell the kids I love them.We’re about to ride out.”
“Okay,” she whispers, worry deep in her voice.“Stay safe, Pope.”
Another two hours into the ride, we have to pull off because the rain is too heavy for us to continue any farther.
“We should get some rooms for a few hours.Get some rest while we wait for this storm to pass,” Joker says.
As much as I want to say no, the safety of my brothers is more important than my need to face a past I’m not ready for.
There’s too much shit going on in my head for me to get anything but a fitful rest.I try to sleep, but every time I close my eyes, nightmares of my childhood play out behind them.Unwanted hands touching me, the filthy fucking memories of my youthful body betraying me and finding release despite the depraved things they did to me, pain, and anger.It’s all there to greet me in the dark until it’s too overwhelming and I jump into the shower.The heat scalds my body as I try to rid myself of the poison embedded into my flesh.
I don’t climb out until I hear the pounding on my motel door.
“Give me a fucking minute, will you?”I yell when they continue.