Leaningagainstthekitchendoor frame in the clubhouse, I watch as Birdie dances around the kitchen with Lovelyn as she cooks breakfast for us.There’s wonder in my daughter’s eyes as she watches the happiness her mom displays.
How long has it been since they’ve seen her like this?
“She’s really happy, huh, Dad?”
I glance down at the little boy standing next to me and rub my hand across the top of his head.“Right now, she sure is.”
“Never saw her like this before.”
“Happy?”
He lifts his shoulders to his ears before dropping them.“She would only smile and laugh whenhewasn’t around.But it wasn’t nothing like this.”
Legend chews on his lip, watching his mom and sister before returning his gaze to me.“I think it’s ‘cause she’s home.Here everyone loves Mama.She didn’t have that before here.”
“I promise to do my best to always keep her happy, Legend.We still have a long way to go to get her there fully.”
Birdie and Lovelyn dance over to us, singing along with big smiles to the song playing through the speaker Birdie has hooked up to her phone.They both hold their hands out for me and Legend.
“Come on, Daddy and Bugga!Come dance with us.”
“Yeah, Daddy,” Birdie teases.“Come show us those moves.You too, G-Man.”
With a wink at Legend, I slide my hand into Lovelyn’s.“Let’s show the ladies how men do it, little warrior.”
Legend smiles and grasps Birdie’s hand, laughing when she pulls him to her quickly before twirling him back out.
Birdie and I dance around the room with our kids.Laughter fills a room that used to be so silent as our bodies move to the music.It’s not long until Birdie and I gravitate toward one another.The twins clap, cheering us on in delight as we swing, twirl, dip, and cha-cha around the space.
The song ends and I rest my forehead against hers, our harsh breathing syncing together.
“I love you,” I whisper, unable to help myself.
I’m not expecting a response.She’s not ready to go there yet.When she hums peacefully with a smile, it doesn’t surprise me.At least she didn’t outright reject my claim.
“This place smells good.I’m surprised none of these hooligans have followed their nose in here,” I tell her, kissing the tip of her nose before stepping away.
“Oh, they tried.I told them it was breakfast for my family and to leave us be.”She shrugs.“They’re trying, so they just smiled and left.”
“What are we having?”
“Homemade biscuits and sausage gravy, fried potatoes with onions, and cheesy scrambled eggs.”
“Sounds as delicious as it smells, little mama.I’ll grab the plates.”
“Hey,” she says, grabbing my hand to hold me in place, “I’m glad I came home.”
“Yeah?”
Her eyes soften at the hint of vulnerability in my voice.“I am.”
“It was only days ago that you were considering running,” I remind her.
“Guilt.I was feeling as if everything that had happened in the twins’ life was my fault.The abuse from Frankie they had to witness, then the shoot out.”
“None of that was your fault.”
“I know, but it doesn’t make me feel less guilty.Did you know I was even questioning if this place was a good life for them?”She snorts, shaking her head in disbelief.“As if I didn’t grow up in this same lifestyle I was questioning and turned out okay.Violence surrounded me almost every day and I still grew up with a good heart.Despite the heartbreak I’ve experienced here from all of you, this place is host to all of my absolute best memories.There was a time when these people were my family.Our kids only had me and Valkyrie after we left.Here they have an entire club who already adore them.I’d be hurting youandthe twins if I took off with them now.”
