Nothing could ever truly compare to that.
Knowing she’s got more dips and curves than what she had while we were together ...
A groan rips from my chest, and I cup the bulge in my jeans to stave off the ache filling my balls.
Fuck, I can’t wait to explore every inch of her again.
With a sigh, I readjust myself before snatching a t-shirt and a pair of sweats from the dresser and heading back to her.
Birdie has managed to slide her sandals from her feet but still sits there as if she’s unsure what else to do.
I place the clothes on the shelf behind the toilet and move to stand in front of her.“Let’s get the jewelry off.”
“N-n-no,” she stammers, reaching up to wrap her fingers around the pearls.“They must never come off.”
Panic builds in what I can see of her eyes, and tremors work through her body.Worried about her state, I hold up my hands and step back.
“Okay, little mama,” I croon.“They can stay on.Let’s get you out of the rest of these clothes then, yeah?”
Her shaking worsens at my words, so I pinch her chin between my fingers and lift her face to mine.“Nothing funny, love.I won’t even drop my eyes, okay?Just want to get you out of these and into the shower.Then I’ll go to the twins.”
“You won’t look?”
“No, baby,” I say softly, “I won’t look.”
She nods, a tear falling down her cheek when she does.“Okay.”
We take our time removing her clothes, and not once do I break my promise to her.My eyes stay on hers the entire time.It’s definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.I’m quite proud of myself, really.
Once she’s naked, I brush my lips across her nose before stepping back and turning away.
The sound of her bare feet shuffling against the tile floor let me know she’s working her way into the shower.
“You see that button on the wall just outside the shower stall?”I ask.
“Yes.”
“That’s an intercom that’s wired through the entire house.You just push it and then speak.I’ll hear you wherever I am.”
“Okay.”
“Time to breathe, little mama.Let me take it from here,” I tell her before I walk out of the bathroom.
There’s so much shit between us now that I don’t know if we’ll ever be the Birdie and Apollonos we were seven years ago.We’ve both been through some shit.We’ve changed.We’ve fought different battles, yet we carry the same scars.Where light once shone on us, darkness has made itself a home.The only thing we can do now is learn how to navigate it blindly and hope we don’t fall off the edge.
Chapter Ten
Pope’sheavywordshangin the air of the bathroom long after he walks out.They stay in my mind as I lean my head back under the soft, rain-like flow of the water pouring from the shower head.
Time to breathe, little mama.Let me take it from here.
How do I do that when there is no trust between us?When the past still lingers, threatening to bring me to my knees at any moment?
Our past is a festering wound that refuses to close.
I never got genuine answers as to why he betrayed me the way he did.Theories have run through my head over the years.Especially when I caught wind of how big their war with the Steel Slayers actually was.But I could never give those theories life because there’s only one person who can give me the answers I need.
There’s anger that still beats behind the ice I’ve covered myself in.It’s an inferno that I know will eventually melt my encasement.
