“We’ll only do shifts at night for now.Birdie and the twins are safe with me at the house during the day.If I’m needed elsewhere, we’ll put someone else on them.The prospects will be on guard duty at the gatehouse.Blackjack will work the security room with Ducky tonight.They’ll switch off with Basilisk and Screw tomorrow.Each of us will take our turns in the security room, watching our compound and our businesses.I don’t know what we’re dealing with, and until we do, we need to stay vigilant.Something about her husband didn’t sit right with me five years ago, but I chalked it up to me being a jealous fucker.I should’ve listened to my head and gutted him when I had the chance.”
“This ain’t only on you, Prez,” Pretty Boy says.“We all played a part in sending them away for their own protection.”
“Didn’t fucking like it then, don’t fucking like it now,” Manic inputs.
“You made your feelings perfectly clear when it happened.You still went along with it.”
“Didn’t have much choice unless I wanted to walk away from my brothers.”
I sigh, scrubbing my fingers through my hair and leaning back in my seat.We worked this shit out years ago, but the women being back, especially in the shape Birdie is in, has it all coming back.Resentment obviously still lingers inside Manic, and I didn’t know it.Just more shit I’m going to have to deal with so we don’t have contention in the club.We need to trust the men at our backs when shit gets dicey.
“We’ll get in the ring later.Right now, there’s more pressing matters.”
He nods sharply, his lips pressed together.“Valkyrie will stay with me even if I have to drag her there kicking and screaming.”
Shaking my head, I lift a brow.“You have issues with how I handle my woman, but you have no qualms getting yours there however needed, huh?”
Manic laughs wickedly.“Never said I wasn’t a fucking hypocrite, Prez.”
“All right.Does anyone else have anything they want to add for tonight?I’d like to get Birdie and my kids situated.”
“Yeah, I got something to add.When the fuck can I meet my grandkids?”Gavel growls.
There’s so much anger in his voice, but I can’t tell if it’s aimed at me or Birdie.Probably at both of us, to be honest.Gavel fucking hated the way we sent them out of here.There’s not been a day since that he’s fucking not expressed his disappointment either.Not enough to disrespect me or my position, but when we’re alone, he always brings her up.When I asked him what he would have done if Mad Dog was put in that position, he gave me a look that told me I was dumber than he thought I was and put it to me straight.
“I would’ve trusted him.He knew this life.He lived it right alongside me.He would’ve been angry as fuck at me if I made that choice for him, and no way in fuck would I have taken that from him.It’s his life.When we love the person we’re in a relationship with, we try to honor them by giving them the respect they deserve.That means letting them make their choice.”
“Even when it’s club business?”
“Did club business threaten her life?”
“Yeah.”
“Then it’s club business she should have known.You let her leave from here without all the facts.What is she supposed to do if the threat follows her?You’re not perfect, and you sure in the hell aren’t invisible.What are you going to do when the devil finds her and you’re not there to banish him back to where he came from, son?”
“So, you’re saying I made the wrong choice.”
“Yeah, Apollonos, I’m saying you made the wrong choice.I understand it more than most, wanting to protect the person you love.Every time some motherfucker spit vile shit at Darragh, every time some homophobic prick called him every slur they could think of, I wanted to call it quits.Then I’d watch him as he faced every single bastard who tried to tear him down and smiled in their goddamn faces, and my love for him only grew.I knew there was no way in hell I could break him when the world was already doing their damnedest to do that.Life comes down to choices, kid.You have to make the ones you can live with.”He shakes his head, his pepper and gray hair swishing along his shoulders.“Goddamn gut is telling me you’re going to struggle with this one.”
His words stuck with me over the years, especially when I struggled with the decision I made seven years ago.But I’m fucking stubborn and refused to believe it was the wrong choice.I told myself repeatedly that she was happy and living a good life.
Now, the vision of her broken and bruised jumps into my mind.
She didn’t live a good life.
Instead, she lived through a hell that I’d sent her straight to.
“I don’t know, Gavel,” I reply with a sigh, rubbing my hands over my face.
When the fuck did I get so damn tired?
“Not good enough.”He stands and places his hands on the table, leaning across it to get closer to me.“Let me make myself more clear.I want to see my grandkids, and I won’t be denied.I missed out on almost seven years of their lives.I won’t miss more.”
I try to control myself, but his words only reignite the anger I have at them being kept from me.So, I also climb to my feet and lean toward him until our noses are nearly touching.Tension flies through the room as our brothers watch us warily.
“I also missed out on almost seven years ofmy kids’lives,” I snarl.
Gavel’s chuckle scrapes along my skin because there’s nothing nice about it.He leans away and shakes his head.“Fucking told you this would be a choice you’d struggle with.The thing about choices, Prez, is that sometimes they have consequences.”
