I’ll never be able to replace Oakley.
How can you beg someone to give you another chance when they won’t even see you?
My dad was happy when I told him that I’d committed to the circuit, but he’s pissed off at me now because every time he’s asked me to go practice, I’ve turned him down. Ignored his subtle, then blatant attempts at guilting me. His threats slide right off me, slick as oil. I think he’s starting to get a little afraid I’m going to back out on him.
Hell. Maybe I will.
I don’t even know if I want the circuit anymore. The only reason I was considering doing it was to save up money for me and Oakley. Everything I do is for her, but now with her gone, what’s the point?
My dad might lose some money, but I think it’s his reputation that he’s more worried about.
Walker Rodeo is all he’s cared about since we lost Mom. It’s like, once she died, he poured every spare emotion he had into the business. Sometimes I wonder if he wishes me and my sister Penny would just up and disappear so he could spend all of his time working instead of having to worry about us and how we’re turning out.
Regardless, even if I’m old enough to be out on my own now, Penny’s only sixteen. She still needs him, and his blatant disregard for her most of the time is irritating. Granted, Dad doesn’t pester her about taking up bull riding, of course. Sometimes I envy that, but other times, I’m glad that I at least have the option. Without riding, Penny’s stuck doing the grunt work for the business. Billing and stuff like that. I know she hates it. But, like me, she feels stuck.
No place to go but Walker Rodeo.
The Skyview Falls High School graduation ceremony starts in just over an hour. I’m supposed to be there, graduating with her. To cheer Oakley on as she gets her diploma, then hear her voice when I get mine. Pose for pictures with her in our caps and gowns.
Hell, start our adulthood together. But now it’s all just gone.
I’ve spent the past three years of my life picturing how we’d live once we got out of school, and never once did I imagine that we wouldn’t be together.
“You ready?” My dad knocks on my doorframe. Sounding gruff, he’s wearing a tie and shirt. It looks weird on him. I’m used to him in jeans, a flannel shirt and cowboy boots.
“I don’t really want to go. Might just skip it. It’s just a bunch of speeches that last too long.” I shrug.
Dad frowns. Narrows his eyes at me. “Too bad. You’re going. Your high school graduation is a big deal. You can’t let some silly breakup stop you from taking your honors. Your mom… She’d have been so proud.”
I think about asking if it’s too much for him to admit that he’s proud, too. But, in the end, I don’t bother. I don’t have the energy to fight with him about anything more. Though, the more I think about it, it would be the perfect opportunity to finally speak to Oakley. She’s going to be there, and there’s no way she can avoid me then.
The moment we arrive at the field, I take my place among my classmates. I scan the assigned seats for any sign of her, then deflate when I realize that I won’t be able to tell where she’ll be sitting. So, instead, like a zombie, I suffer through the ceremony. My heart nearly stops when she crosses the stage to get her diploma. Listening as they rattle off the long list of her accomplishments, everything she’s worked so hard for over the years.
A sense of pride sweeps over me, filled with nothing but love for my girl.
As the ceremony finally ends and the crowd disperses, I look for her. She won’t be able to run away from me without making a scene, something I know she won’t want to do. I do my best to avoid the rest of the Montgomery family, but they seem to be everywhere I turn. Her brother, Bo. Little sister, Maggie. Her dad. All of them block her off from me, and when they’re not, my dad drags me around to meet someone he wants to brag to. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it was some kind of conspiracy to keep Oakley and me apart.
When I finally get a moment to break away from my dad, I try to look around for Oakley again, only to realize that she’s nowhere in sight. I spot Phoebe standing with a bunch of our classmates taking selfies, so I push through the crowd to get to her. “Where’s Oakley?”
At first, Phoebe clearly doesn’t want to answer. Then, she shrugs. “I guess it doesn’t matter if I tell you. She already left.”
My heart twists. Frowning, I clench my fists at my sides to stop myself from raking them through my already messy hair. “For home?”
Phoebe hesitates, looking wary. I pace in front of her, then stop dead center to look her right in the eyes.“Where. Is. She?”
“She left as soon as graduation was over. She and her mom went home to change, then they’re leaving for New York.”
“Tonight?” My heart stops. My stomach twists and turns like I’m on one of those spinning rides at the carnival.
Phoebe shrugs. “They might already be on the road.”
“No.” That single word drops out of my mouth, heavy as a stone. “No. She can’t. Without even saying goodbye? I don’t believe it.”
“You really hurt her,” Phoebe replies, staring at me with a look that shows nothing but disappointment. “What did you expect?”
“I don’t know!” I shout. Frustration fills me as people around us begin to look on. “Not for all this shit to happen though. Not for her to…leave! Not without a chance to earn her forgiveness.”
Stepping forward, I meet Phoebe’s gaze, silently pleading with her to do something to help me, but, deep down,I know she can’t. “If you hurry…” she says, “you might be able to catch her.” She lets out a heavy breath. “Maybe.”
