With Viv, well, she’s a menace. But she’smymenace. Losing her would throw things out of balance for me. More than what this role I took on did. Casper believed I could lead. I never saw it. I wasn’t afraid of leadership, just didn’t know I could be the type of man that could lead a team, a club. Now I know I can. I also never thought I could be a Hound with an old lady by his side. I was content with vamps for the rest of my days. But that changed too. I don’t want vamps. I want a menace—just one. But I’m not going to beg.
She might like me. But love? I’m not sure if Viv’s the loving kind. She’s good with things how they are. She doesn’t make a fuss about anything. She’d be a helluva old lady, but I can’t promise I’m staying. And I won’t ask her to leave and give up what she has here.
Even if I did destroy her place and she has to restart anyway.
“You tell me. What do you want?”
She rolls her eyes. “A place to work and tacos. Obviously.”
See? No fuss from her at all. She’s a simple girl with a simple plan. One that doesn’t seem to involve me. And I don’t want to hold up her life any more than what my club already has.
While her life might not have crossed paths with mine if I never came here, she would have been targeted by the club either way. That was inevitable based on Henry’s and Link’s words. Any other woman, I would offer them protection for the future. A body to keep them safe, myself as their shield. But Viv doesn’t need that, nor would she want to standbehind a man. She’s the type to stand right beside them—hell, even in front of them. And I’d be a fool to waste her talent.
“Tacos, I can get you. As for a place to work.…” I press my lips together and hold back my first instinct to offer her my place. Any place.
Just ask her to stay.
Don’t know why I need to have her say it first, or at least give me a sign that she wants more than what we had, but I do. I need that from her. I need to feel… I don’t know… wanted, I guess. More than just the background. I don’t need to be her entire world. Sure, that would work, but I just want to know I matter to her beyond the norm. Just… something.
God, when did I become so fucking needy?
I shake my head at myself and open my mouth to just tell her what I want when the doors behind me slide open and Summer rushes in.
“Fuck, girl, are you okay? Mack called me. Oh my God, what a mess. I can’t believe it was Henry this whole time. Hell, I didn’t even know his name till Mack told me. Did you know his name? Oh my God, it doesn’t even matter. You’re coming home with me. The kids are with my parents, and I’m going to feed you and then wash you up. Oh shit, this is a mess. You must be freaking out. I mean,I’mfreaking out, and it didn’t even happen to me. Can you even believe any of this? Oh my God.”
Summer is a woman on a mission, and she grabs Viv before any of us can do much more than watch her escort her friend out of the place. My girl looks at me once more, but then she’s gone.
And I have to wonder if it’ll be the last time I see her.
Chapter 30—Viv
“You going to want to bring this?”
I look over at Summer holding up a welder and shake my head. “No, not that one. The other one.” I point to the one I want on the table beside her.
She looks at it, then at the one still in her hand. “They all look alike, Viv.”
I shrug. “But they aren’t. So get the other one.” I turn back to the box I’m packing and lift my head just enough to tell her, “Please.”
I can hear her grumbling, but I know she’s doing it. She can complain all she wants. No one is forcing her to be here. I can pack up what’s left of my shop on my own. I don’t need the help, even if she insisted that she come with me.
When she came to the clubhouse yesterday, she was in freak-out mode. She was talking a mile a minute and wouldn’t even let me out of her eyesight to pee. It was pretty bad for her, but I get it. She almost lost me, according to her. I didn’t think it was that dire, but she went off on me having no feelings or clarity about the situation.
Do I get how it could have gone? Do you think I slept well last night? I had more nightmares than all my other nights combined. I thought I would be fine because it didn’t happen. In my book, if you aren’t dead, you’re fine. But maybe there’s a bit more to life.
Summer had a point last night. I was fine with how things went because I didn’t really have anything to live for. I had my work. I had my fights. But other than those, what else was keeping me from freaking out?
Domino.
I somehow knew he was going to save me. That I was going to be mad I didn’t do it myself, but he was going to find me, and it was going to be okay. Even if it took years, I knew he was going to find me. Somehow, I knew it the whole time. Parts of me were scared. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t. Especially when Henry started talking about getting me pregnant and all. But I couldn’t let that fear control me at the time.
But last night it did. Every time I fell asleep, my mind attacked me with all the possibilities if things had gone differently. If Henry won and I lost. If Domino never came. If he left. If he forgot about me.
Those were the worst ones. What started out as a nightmare, with a repeat of what happened to me, turned into a night filled with terror of Domino walking away over and over again.
I still shudder at the thought as I seal my box with tape.
When I gave up on sleep, I came up with a plan. I want to have more than what I was doing. I want to keep what I had but just have… more.
