I take a deep breath and then let loose. No reason to hold back anymore. This group is smart, and I bet they know some of it already. And honestly, after last night, I’m tired. I’m tired of doing this all on my own. Of carrying this burden from one screwup. It’s a hard life, and I really didn’t think we could have survived this long. But it’s wearing on me. These last few days have been a blessing and a curse. Blessing that I got some rest, but a curse that I see how much I’m forcing Ollie to give up. How muchI’mgiving up. Humans aren’t meant to live alone—at leastIwasn’t meant to. I grew up in a loud, large family. I expected my life to stay that way, not to be silenced and kept hidden from an enemy I once saw as a friend.
“You know who I am, don’t you?” Law nods. “And you know who my family is, my brothers?” He nods again. “Yeah, figured as much.” I run a hand through my hair. “My family never kept me in the dark about the family business, but I wasn’t brought in, not officially. I knew who the players were and what we did, but a lot of things I was kept out of. I was okay with that. Being a mafia princess was just something I was. Didn’t know any different. Went to the parties, hung out with people who I probably shouldn’t have, if I’m going by proper society rules. But I also had friends who I met outside of that. My mom wanted me to be more than just what I was born into, so she paid to get me into some fancy school. That’s where I met Mia. Her family was from Australia, and she got in on a scholarship. We meshed like lost sister souls. We got close to the point that my family was okay with me inviting her to parties and outings the family was at. That’s where she met Ivan.”
I take a drink of my beer and see it shake a bit. I drop the bottle quickly and fist my hand by my side. Just thinking about what’s coming in my sad tale of life pisses me off to the point that I feel the need to find a wall or a bag to hit. But since none are close, and I doubt one of the boys will allow me to use him as a punching bag, I push my nails deep into my skin. If it breaks, that pain will be a welcome relief from the pain in my heart.
“Ivan was a smooth-talking son of a bitch I knew most of my life. He was friends with my brothers, a decade older than me and Mia, but that didn’t seem to stop him from going after her. And she him. It was a whirlwind romance, and I was happy for her, for them both. She married him a week after she turned eighteen, gave birth to Ollie before she was nineteen.” I get lost in my memories of that first year they were together. He was gone more than he was home, and we were busy playing house and pretending we were grown.
“Then what happened?” Bass prompts with a knee nudge.
I breathe in an audible gulp of air as I look at the table. I can’t look at anything but the damn table as the memories play behind my eyes. I have no idea what the others are thinking, but at least no one is talking, and they’re letting me get it all out at once. They probably think I’ll clam up if they stop and ask questions.
Who knows? Maybe they’re right.
“Once Ollie came, things changed. Ivan wasn’t around much to begin with. He was gone longer and longer between trips to Russia or wherever he went. And when he came back, he wasn’t in the mood for anything but a quick fuck, even….” I close my eyes at this part, as it’s never easy to think about and never easy to say. “Even when she didn’t want to. I heard her once. I heard her through it. She was on the phone with me, and he just came in, and she didn’t stand a chance. Someone must have pushed the phone from her hand or something, but it never turned off. I heard her cry out in pain as he forced her, and I cried for her when I heard him invite others to join. I recorded it on my phone, but I never hung up to call the police. Because that’s not what you do, not where I’m from. I told my brothers, but there wasn’t much they could do either. Not unless they wanted to start a war, and in their eyes, saving one victim wasn’t worth the price of possibly dozens or more if this went south. So I did what I could. I hid her and Ollie, or that was the plan. It took a while—a few years, actually. That’s when we learned Ivan had another life, another family in Russia, and that Mia was the side piece, the one to use at will and give him the heir his other wife couldn’t. I begged her to leave sooner, but she wanted things to be perfect before she tried to get out, for Ollie’s sake.”
“What needed to be perfect?” This from Kooper.
I finally look up and see I have the attention of everyone—and I meaneveryone—in the clubhouse except the three playing video games.
“We had to find someone to help us. We knew we couldn’t get far if we did it on our own. My family might love me, but I know they wouldn’t go to war, not even for me. Which I get, I really do. So we had to find someone. That took time. In the end, the group found us.”
“What group?” Flint asks.
“They call themselves the Crazy Eights. They offered to help, and it was like a golden goose.”
“But they had a condition.” This from Chains, and I nod.
“Yeah, I guess you’d call it that. They wanted his cell phone number.”
“That it?” Domino says with skepticism on his face.
“Can do a lot with a phone number,” Flint says with a shrug.
“At first, it was just the phone number. But that was just to get Mia safe. If she wanted Ollie safe, too, she needed to do more.”
“Fucking assholes,” Chains grumbles, and I just shrug.
“It’s life. Nothing’s free. Mia never saw it as anything but a fair trade, and since she was fine with it, I don’t let it bug me. She always said that being angry about someone else’s thoughts and actions only wasted her energy to get out of a situation. She was big on finding ways out of things that she got herself into. She never blamed me for introducing her to Ivan, as it brought her Ollie, and she would never regret that. No matter how many times she went to the hospital and got patched up, she said it was all worth it, for Ollie’s sake. But she also wasn’t willing to be a victim for longer than she needed to. So when the Crazy Eights asked her to clone Ivan’s phone to get Ollie his protection, she jumped on it. Everything went easy for her, and after she had the cloned phone, she gave it to me, and I took it to the drop-off point for the Crazy Eights while she waited for me to meet her and Ollie in a parking garage. I was meant to get back to her and switch her car with the one the Crazy Eights would give me, and that was going to be our goodbye. But I got there too late.”
Ilook at the ceiling, searching for words to describe what I drove up to. I’ve never had to tell anyone this part before. It just was what it was.
“I was to meet them on the fourth floor. No one was to be up there but them. As soon as I pulled around that corner, I saw another car, and I knew it was him. He might not have liked Mia anymore or cared who used her, but he wasn’t good with her being anywhere except where he expected her to be. I can’t count the number of times I saw him smack her around when he found her with me out shopping or out for a drink. He never went after me, even when I smarted off. It was only because of who my brothers are that kept me safe. But I saw the crazy in his eyes that day and knew my brothers wouldn’t be enough to keep me safe from his hands. I’d also never intervened before, because Mia begged me not to. It was the hardest promise I’ve ever had to keep, but I did it. Mostly because he always threatened Ollie. Putting so much fear in Mia that he would take Ollie from her if she tried to leave him or get someone involved that it scared me for his sake. So I kept my trap shut. But when I pulled around that corner?”
I take a breath to steady my nerves as I remember the worst moment of my life. “I didn’t stop driving till I ran right into his car, which was parked by hers and angled to prevent her from getting out. He was so lost in fucking her while stabbing her over and over with his damn trench knife that he didn’t even hear me till I rammed into his car. I was out of my seat and shooting at him with the gun I stole from my brother before he could even pull up his pants. I got him in the leg and once in the stomach. I thought I’d killed him, which is why I dropped my guard and ran to Mia. She was bleeding out everywhere, and the sick fuck was getting off onher dying. I was crying so hard that it took a while to understand the wails weren’t only coming from me but from Ollie. He was still in the car, in his booster seat. He was high enough up to have seen everything. Things I can’t even imagine anyone should see his father do to his mother. I didn’t think, just turned quickly to unbuckle Ollie when a shot took out the window. I hadn’t killed Ivan like I’d thought. So I did the only thing I could do. I grabbed Ollie, ran to the car, and drove out of there. I went back to the meetup spot with the Crazy Eights and told them plans had changed. They now had to get me and Ollie out, and payment was already paid in full, at the cost of Mia’s life. They agreed, and I’ve been on the run ever since. I hoped we would be safe, that Ivan would have just been happy to be rid of us, but no.”
“He wants his heir,” Law says with a voice of knowledge.
“Yes.” I feel tears sliding down my cheeks. “But he won’t get him.”
“How old was Ollie?” Casper asks with a hard look.
“Six.”
“Shit,” someone mutters, and I can’t agree with them more. Old enough for him to remember everything.
“So, what’s up with the birthday?” Kooper asks, but it’s Bass that I look at when I speak next.
“The day his mom died was his birthday, so it’s the same day as her memorial. I tell him that a birthday is any day he wants to celebrate, that it doesn’t always have to be the same day. So we celebrate his ‘birthday’ when we want a reason to celebrate life. Kid’s had more birthday celebrations than the average ninety-year-old.” I huff a laugh at that, even if it’s a sad one. “He needs to celebrate being alive, not the day he watched his dad rape and kill his mom.”
