She isn’t dumb, none of them are, but these kids all have something that most of the students around here don’t have—the desire to stick out, and not in the best of ways.
Some do it for attention, like Shane. Others because they just hate everything and everyone, like Erica. And some are just born into a shitty life and stick out because they live it, like Hunter. And that’s why he’s my favorite. I lived his life, and I refuse to let school be a crap place for him just because a few people like to put him down and push him around outside of it. I might have changed the dynamic in this school with my antibullying campaign, but I’m still working on the rest of the world. It’s a battle I will fight till the very end.
“And”—Hunter casts a glance at Erica, who just shrugs—“to cheer you on. We all know you’ve been working hard, just like us. It’s only fair that we support you, just like you support us to pass this class.”
I refuse to cry, and thank God the bell rings and I don’t have to. I just nod as they all rush out of the room with comments that they’ll see me tomorrow and they wish me luck.
I might have a few students who say I made school fun or some who stop by a few years after graduation to say hi. But I’ve never had students wanting to support me in something I was doing. I do this every year with my kids. I let them choose the thing I’ll work hard on while they work hard on their own. In the end, we all learn a new thing. Sometimes it’s something we hate, like fencing. That sucked, because I have short arms, and my partner always seemed to have very long limbs that got the point before I even tried. I’m also not that coordinated, so lunging and attacking while parrying just led to me getting dizzy and losing each round.
A knock on my door has me looking up with a smile, expecting a student. Instead, I feel my face freeze as Troy walks into my classroom. The flutter in my chest could be anything, but it’ll never be for lust. Not again.
“Got a second?”
I nod because it seems my voice has run away from me. But while my voice might be on hiatus for a bit, my brain is not. It yells at me to get up and keep busy. To not let him talk down to me, even if it’s because I’m sitting and he’s standing. So I rise from the desk and busy myself around the room, cleaning it up before I head out. Troy just looks on as he perches on one of the desks, like so many other principals in his place have done before him.
“Your students seem to really be showing improvements. What’s your secret?”
“No secret. They’re all smart kids.” I bite my tongue to keep from saying more. Speaking about my colleagues’ inability to teach beyond the book never really goes well for me. I wouldn’t say that my coworkers despise me, but there are a few who don’t like me. Especially after my last attempt to help them had them taking extra training classes that they had to pay for out of pocket.
He hums in either agreement or just my lack of spilling my teaching ways. I try not to think too much of it as I continue to move about the room.
“You ever going to talk to me?”
I stop stacking the books and look over my shoulder at him. His voice has a way of making me feel bad, but I’ve fallen into that trap before, and I won’t be a victim of it again.
“I am talking to you.”
“Not like you used to,” he says as he glances down to pick the lint off his pants.
I try to swallow, but sandpaper seems to line my mouth. Nothing is what it was like before. “That was a long time ago,” I say softly.
“You think we could ever go back there? That you could ever forgive me?” He lifts his head and looks at me. The kind of look I fell for when I was younger. The one any woman in their right mind would fall for.
He’s good-looking, no denying it. He’s never had a problem in that department. He always reminded me of that Mike Ross character inSuits.Not only with the messy auburn hair and swimmer’s build but in the way he rarely studied and still did well at school.
Despite all that, and the small feelings my memory is bringing up like it always does when Troy is near, I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go through all that again. Because despite what he says, or what he’s implying, the same thing will happen. It’s inevitable. The popular rich guy doesn’t get with the curvy, nerdy girl who’s just fine with having five friends. Especially a guy who’s already married.
“Trooooy.” The sound of his name being sung out above the clicking of heels on the hall floor grates on my nerves more than anything. And the person who said voice belongs to just pisses me off. “Oh, there you are, dear. We need to get going. Mallory set the reservations for six, and I need to…. You’re in here with her?”
I take a breath, count to ten in my head, and blow it out before I look up at Troy’s wife—my archnemesis if I have one—and smile. “Hello, Carolyn. How are you?”
Her eyes narrow on me and probably calculate the distance between me and her husband. Looking between us to understand why he would choose my room out of all those in the school to visit. But if she had more than two bricks in her head, she might realize that only five teachers work during the summer, and I’m the only one down this hallway. You couldn’t possibly think she’s so dense not to see the connection, but thisisCarolyn we’re talking about. She literally bribed each of her teachers to give her a passing grade, and when that didn’t work, she gave out blow jobs. And no, I’m not being petty. I fucking saw it when I was coming back to science class because I’d left my sweater behind. It was scarring to say the least.
“Fantastic. I’m sure Troy let you know we’re celebrating our tenth anniversary this weekend. We’re renewing our wedding vows.” She goes up to him and wraps her arms around him, making a big show of who her man is. Not that she needs to stake a claim on something I don’t want. He’s not…
Young? Tattooed? Doesn’t call you Troublemaker?
I turn my head and get back to packing up my desk for the night. I don’t care if they think I can’t look at them as they kiss. It’s more that I can feel my cheeks blush. Thoughts of Gator aren’t uncommon for me lately, but I’ve never had them just pop in my head like this, as if to prove that Troy is no one compared to another man in my life. Even if I haven’t seen him for weeks.
When Gator walked out of the gym with a sad look on his face, I figured it was just club business and I would see him sooner than later. But not even Jules knows where he is. She’s even got a new Hound following her around when Flint isn’t there. I don’t want to ask, because I know she’ll ask why I’m wanting to know. And while I might admit to myself that I find Gator hot and intriguing, I’m not ready to tell my friends that yet.
“Did you tell her?” Carolyn’s cheerful voice has me looking up, only to watch Troy shrink a bit.
“Not yet.”
The smile she gives me at his words makes me rethink her lack of wits. The evil glint in her eyes lets me know she’s here for this. Which means I’m not going to like what he’s about to say.
I don’t fall for the bait and ask. I know he’ll tell me. Ifshecan hold her mouth shut long enough for him to do so. The glee in her expression means she’s champing at the bit to say something.
