Page 154 of Good Girl, Bad Blood
And she checked, down inside herself, under her skin, but she couldn’t find it. The scream was no longer there, waiting for her. She’d beaten it.
*
Can you come outside?she texted him, the rain pattering against her screen, the phone no longer recognizing her thumb.
Read, it said beneath her message a few seconds later.
She watched from outside as the light in Ravi’s bedroom window clicked on, and the curtain twitched for just a second.
Pip followed his progress as the hall light turned on in the upper middle window, and then the downstairs hall light, glowing through the glass in the front door. Broken up now by Ravi’s silhouette as he made his way towards it.
It opened and he stood there against the light, wearing just a white T-shirt and navy joggers. He looked at her, then up at the rain in the sky, and he walked outside, his feet bare, slapping against the path.
‘Nice night,’ he said, squinting against the droplets now running down his face.
‘I’m sorry.’ Pip looked at him, her hair sticking to her face in long dark streaks. ‘I’m sorry I took it out on you.’
‘That’s OK,’ he said.
‘No, it’s not.’ She shook her head. ‘I had no right to be angry at you. I think I was angry at me, mostly. And it’s not just everything that happened today. I mean, itisthat, but also I’ve been lying to myself for a while now, trying to separate myself from that person who became so obsessed with finding Andie Bell’s killer. Trying to convince everyone else it wasn’t really me so I could convince myself. But I think, now, that thatisme. And maybe I’m selfish and maybe I’m a liar and maybe I’m reckless and obsessive and I’m OK with doing bad things when it’s me doing them and maybe I’m a hypocrite, and maybe none of that is good, but it feels good. It feels like me, and I hope you’re OK with all that because . . . I love you too.’
She had barely finished speaking, but Ravi’s hand was against her face, cupped around her cheek, his thumb rubbing the rain from her bottom lip. He moved his fingers down to lift her chin and then he kissed her. Long and hard, their faces wet against each other, both trying to fight a smile.
But the smile broke eventually, and Ravi drew back. ‘You should have just asked me. I know exactly who you are. And I love her. I love you. Oh, by the way, I said it first.’
‘Yeah, in anger,’ said Pip.
‘Ah, that’s just because I’m so brooding and mysterious.’ He pulled a face with puckered lips and too-serious eyes.
‘Um, Ravi?’
‘Yes, Um Pip.’
‘I need to tell you something. Something I just did.’
‘What did you do?’ He dropped the face into one that was actually serious. ‘Pip, what did you just do?’
FRIDAY
7 DAYS MISSING
Thirty-Four
Pip’s alarm went off for school, chirping from her bedside table.
She yawned, sticking one foot outside the duvet. Then she remembered that she was suspended, so she tucked the foot back inside and leaned over to snooze the alarm.
But even through one sleepy eye, she saw the message waiting on her phone. Received seven minutes ago, from Nat da Silva.
Hi it’s Nat. I need to show you something. It’s about Jamie.About Layla Mead.
Her eyes hadn’t even unstuck yet, but Pip sat up and kicked off the duvet. Her jeans were still damp from last night as she pulled them on, with a white long sleeved T-shirt from the top of the laundry basket; it probably had one more use in it.
She was just fighting a brush through her rain-tangled hair when her mum came in to say goodbye before work.
‘I’m taking Josh to school now,’ she said.
‘OK.’ Pip winced as the brush caught in a knot. ‘Have a good day.’
