“I love you.”
That pops my head up. She’s shy after the revelation, glancing down at her pink-painted toes.
I cup her chin with my fingers and lift her head until she has no choice but to look at me. “I love you, too.”
I do. I really, fucking do.
She smiles, running her thumb across my lip. I open, sucking it in before she can move it. It gets a chuckle out of her, lightening the conversation.
“I’m not saying I want to be with Cade. I’m just saying I like helping him. He has no one and I remember when that was me and then you were there, pulling me up, dusting me off, and kicking my ass in gear when I wanted to quit. I wanted to be just like you.”
I smile at that confession, a warm feeling creeping into my chest.
“You were always so strong. So carefree. The world was your oyster, everyone else be damned.”
Funny, I thought the same about her. I stay quiet, though, and let her finish.
“I need to do this. I need to see who I am without Theo Von Bremen.”
Remember how I said a warm feeling was creeping up? Yeah, it turned ice-cold in an instant.
“What do you mean, Ans. Do you want me to stay away?”
“No! No, nothing like that. I just want to find myself. Somewhere where I don’t have a job because of you, or friends that are your friends.”
I’m shaking my head, eyes going wide with her revelation. How long has she been harboring these feelings? I never meant for her to feel like she isn’t anyone without me.
She squeezes tighter. “I’m messing this all up. I love you, Teddy. And I don’t want anything to change between us. I still want to work for you. I still want my Mondays and Thursdays. I just… want to do this with Cade. I need to do this. Let me help him. Let me do it for Hines.”
Well fuck. What am I supposed to say when she throws Hines, her beloved grandfather, into the mix? I know the guilt and demons that haunted her family. And I guess I never really thought about her doing this for him. Doing something that he was never able to. Save his son. He never knew the pain he was going through and it cost him everything.
Finally, I return her embrace, feeling like a total shit. I didn’t want to run her life or prevent her from making amends for the past. I just want her with me all the time. It’s hard to separate business from pleasure after all this time. It doesn’t help that we both carry around these feelings for each other that we never act on. I plant a light kiss on the top of her hair, inhaling her coconut shampoo. She smells so good. Like the beach.
“Okay,” I breathe. “You can keep him, but only on one condition.”
Her watery eyes find mine with a hesitant smile.
“I stay with you. Here. On all my off days. We do this together.”
Her face lights up with a smile. “I knew you would see it my way!”
I laugh. This damn girl. I pull her closer. “In all seriousness, though, if he steps out of line, even once, I will fucking kill him.”
She nods, knowing not to push me on this.
I can’t believe I am agreeing to this shit. It’s crazy! He’s a bum.
Pussy. Pussy is what controls my brain. “But my acceptance of this little project does not mean I have to like him or be nice to him.”
Her brows crease together. Too bad. Can’t have your bum and my good behavior, too. It’s one or the other.
“Can you just promise to try?” Her eyes are tired. She’s had a long day. This conversation needs to wrap up so we can both get some sleep.
“I’ll try,” I relent. I will, just not hard. “Now, can we go to bed? I’m about to pass out thanks to the sleeping pill you shoved down my throat. Now it’s kicked in too much for me to be able to perform properly.” I send her a hate glare and she giggles. Fucking sleeping pills make my dick limp as shit. Her fucking heart-to-heart lasted so long that now I will go to bed without my reward, and after this bullshit conversation I am owed a certain wet dessert.
She rubs my arm soothingly. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
I move out of her embrace, creating some distance between us. I need some milk and a little breathing room to digest what the fuck I just agreed to. “Damn right you will.”
