Theo and all his fineness passes, jogging up the sidewalk. He’s playing it cool and waving at the neighbors like he fucking lives here. They wave back but not before checking out that ass. Knowing I can’t keep him running much longer (not because he can’t run but because he draws entirely too much attention), I take a breath and back up into the woods. The brush doesn’t really give me the space I need to get a running start but it will have to do.
It’s now or nothing. I take one more look at the houses—no one is sitting outside and the bitch is nowhere in sight. This is it.Do it, Ans! I push off and run hard, launching both legs over the fence, and roll to my landing like a fucking pro. That one parkour class really paid off.
I keep low and make my way to Killer. No, that’s not her name. Mason said it was something like Bullet. I think Killer sounds better and since I am saving her, I get to rename her. She will be my only other vagina in the house. We badasses need cool names.
I approach Killer slowly. Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the treats. “Hey, girl. You hungry?”
She barely stirs, which gives me pause. This is a trained working dog. She should fucking eat my ass. Inching closer, I tentatively stroke her matted fur.
“Come on, girl. Let’s get you out of here. Daddy wants to see you.”
She nuzzles my hand and gives it a little lick. Come on. I hate dogs and she is breaking my damn heart. I ease the treats to her mouth, she jumps to her feet and with one lick inhales all that is in my hand. “Atta, girl,” I praise, stroking her head.
I ease her collar off, noting the indentions around her neck. She whimpers, killing me a little inside. That bitch is going down. Theo had better put on an Oscar-winning performance or I will leave his ass here.
With Killer’s collar off, I crawl toward the gate, coaxing her to follow me. She does, albeit hesitantly. I flip the latch and crack the gate. Reaching into my hoodie, I pull out a KONG, one that I may have found snooping through Mason’s room. I let her sniff it. Immediate recognition shows in her sad eyes.
“See it, girl! Go get it!” I launch the KONG just as I see Theo heading back down the sidewalk toward us. Killer takes off for the toy, her nature and training kicking in. I’m alight with joy as she soars through the open space in pursuit of her long-lost toy. It’s quite poetic, really.
I spot Theo digging in his pocket, pulling out the treats, softly calling the dog. KONG in her mouth, she approaches and dives in. Theo shrieks and goes down.
That’s my fucking man!
I quickly get back over the fence and run through the woods, losing sight of the dog. She took off once Theo started hollering. Hopefully, Brad caught her.
Out of the woods, I meet up with Brad, dog in hand.
“You caught her!” I squeal, happy this crazy plan is working.
“Yep. Came right to me.” He beams, all proud of himself.
I try to keep a straight face. I really do, but a chuckle escapes me despite biting my lip to keep it contained.
“Good job, Brad.” I pat him on the shoulder for such a valiant effort. “I’m headed back to the car. You and Theo know the rest of the plan, right?”
“Yep,” he confirms with a wink.
Yuck. I nod, too grossed out to speak, and jog in the opposite direction. How did I ever consider sleeping with him?
I wait for what feels like forever. Finally, Theo limps to the car looking all kinds of smug.
“Hello, blow job!” he bellows, flopping down in the driver’s seat.
“Did you do it?” I ask, eager to know if it worked.
He scoffs and looks offended. “Of course I did it! How could you doubt me, Ans?” He frowns, looking a little wounded. He’s still putting on a show.
I punch his arm. Hard.
“Ow! What was that for?” He rubs the red mark blooming on his bicep.
“Stop bullshitting and tell me what happened!”
He laughs, throwing his head back against the seat. “She recognized me when she answered the door. I hardly had to say anything. She signed that dog over to Brad in a hurry.”
What a bitch.
“She asked me repeatedly what she could do to make it up to me.” He jumps his eyebrows up and down, insinuating she was offering apologies of the sexual kind.
