But I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want my first heat with West to be a fucked up version of what it should be. I didn’t want my head filled with Benjamin’s foul emotions. Disgust and hatred occasionally pierced through the haze of my medication—emotions that didn’t belong to me.
That negativity belonged tohim. My unwanted bondmate.
I hugged myself, trying to push his feelings away again.
“What does it need?” I asked quietly. “If you’re so sure?”
West grabbed a pillow, scent marking it and placing it beside my head. I inhaled, basking in the potent scent of wool and smoke. He did it to a few more pillows, arranging them around me.
That did fix it… to an extent.
“Mercer and Conrad will put their scents on them when we can get them here. Then I’m sure it’ll have everything you need, alright?” West said.
“When will they get here?” I whined. “Have you talked to them?”
He hesitated, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “I haven’t,” he admitted. “I can go check on things once you’re asleep again. I’ll be back before you wake up, alright?”
With a little whimper, I grabbed one more pillow and shoved it at him. “Do this one, too.”
Maybe with one more scent-marked pillow, I wouldn’t be so upset by the thought of him leaving me. Even though I would be asleep and probably wouldn’t notice.
He didn’t hesitate. It was back in my hands, covered in his scent, in a second flat. The blanket of smoky wool numbed some of the instinctual discomfort, and I relaxed. My eyes slipped shut, breaths slowing from the frantic pace they’d kept before.
I blinked blurrily as West laid a blanket over me, laying beside the pillow fort he’d made. “Do you still want me?” I asked in a whisper.
The answer was obvious, but I needed to hear him say it.
Especially because Benjamin kept shoving his loathing through our bond, reminding me I was bound to someone who only wanted to hurt me.
I needed West to want me. Without him, I would break.
“I’ll always want you, Talia.” He leaned over the pillows and kissed my forehead. “Nothing that asshole does will change that.”
I reached out for him, pulling him until he was part of the fort and I could rest my head on his chest. Wrapping his arms around me, he made sure he was pressed as closely against me as possible. A faint, rumbling purr had me going lax.
“Please rest,” he murmured. “You need it, OK?”
When I’d first woken up, I hadn’t thought I would be able to sleep. There was too much Benjamin—too much pain. Not enough nesting comforts to soothe my primal instincts.
But now? With his scent and the resonance of his purr surrounding me, I might be able to let my body take over and give me more of the rest I desperately needed.
“I’ll try.”
And soon, I’d drifted off with my blanket of warm wool.
“Give me the pillows when you’re done with them. I know how she had them arranged.”
West’s commanding whisper woke me from my light sleep.
I wanted to keep dozing—my head was heavy, my body pleasantly warm, and Benjamin was temporarily only a footnote in my mind. Snuggling deeper, I was almost out again when a pillow was replaced near my head.
Sandalwood and brown sugar.
Autumn leaves.
They’re here.
I bolted upright, whining when my head swam. My vision wasn’t clear for a few seconds, but after the haze of sleep wore off, I could see him.
