We didn’t want them to improvise.
“Calm down, little fin,” Ozzy said, lounging on the couch with his head propped on his hand.
He’d been watching me since we fucked earlier. I wasn’t sure if he’d slept. He looked haggard. Every time I tuned in too closely to his emotions I caught on to how useless he felt, but I didn’t have the time or mental energy to comfort him.
Besides, he wasn’t useless. He was on Freya duty, making sure I rested and keeping me sane. Nolan was busy making sure Mabel was safe and Ama was on her way to the location, and Emmett was working through his own emotions. We would have to spend too much time in Zemterra for his tastes. I’d tried to comfort him a while ago, but all I’d done was stress him out further. Both men were temporarily using Mattie’s office across the hall, despite the slightly higher risk of being caught here.
I didn’t stop pacing, and Oswald sighed. His bulky form rose from the couch and strolled over to me, grabbing each of my arms. The look I gave him was half a glare and half… something else. Pained. Worried. Panicked. A combination of the three?
“Stop pacing, stop worrying. It’s only going to make it harder for you to do what needs to be done.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. Think of Caspian and Shan for a second.”
I grabbed my bonds instinctively, drawn to them like a moth drawn to a flame. Except, unlike a moth, for me it was the weaker the flame, the more I was drawn. And my bonds were weakening more by the minute, the separation and trauma both doing nothing to help us.
“Don’t think of what’s happening to them right now. Think of what you’re going to do together when you get back. Not the dirty stuff, but the happily ever after.”
Snorting, I shook my head. “Life isn’t a fairy tale or a romance novel. There’s no happily ever after for life.”
“Can you work with me for a second?” he said with a sigh. “Close your eyes and imagine it.”
“Fine.”
I shut them and tried to picture what we would all be doing at the end of this.
Shan would be… happily working for Nolan, I supposed. Along with me. We would kill people who deserved it, and then we would come home to Caspian.
Caspiancouldwork with us, but I didn’t think that’s what he wanted to do. Or what I wanted him to do. He was too delicate to be in danger all the time, and the idea of him using his incubus charms to get himself out of a bind made me growly.
He’d be our house husband.
Yeah, that sounded right.
A smile curved my lips as I pictured my mate in an apron over his clothes, baking. Someone else would cook. Maybe Oswald could learn how to use modern kitchen appliances, considering he would be useless as an assassin? We could have two house husbands.
“Are you imaging it?” Ozzy asked softly.
“Yes. It’s not a normal relationship.”
“I wasn’t expecting it to be. But are you excited for that?”
I nodded, my forehead brushing his. His body was close, his hands having drawn me closer as I worked my imagination.
“Then let’s go make sure we can have it. Keep them in your mind as we wait, but only imagine the future. It’ll make you less stressed.”
Opening my eyes, I tilted my head so our lips brushed together. “Have I mentioned how much I appreciated you, all those years you were my familiar?”
“Not once. I distinctly remember you treating me like shit,” he said jokingly.
I laughed, removing myself from his grip and smacking him in the arm. “When have I ever? What a horrid accusation!”
He laughed too, going back to the couch and lounging again. This time I followed him, perching on his lap and resting my head against his chest. We curled up together and I let myself get lost in the possibilities. A house with a proper nest to use during my heats. Caspian rubbing his scent all over everything while he was home alone, including the bed in the room Nolan and Oswald would share. Shan cleaning. Cas had mentioned once Shan was a clean freak, and I doubt the rest of us could live up to his standards.
By the time Nolan reappeared in the room from Matthias’ office, where he’d been making all his calls, I was as relaxed as could be expected.
All there was to do now was attempt the impossible.
