The silence in the library was awkward for a solid two minutes until Zan floated toward the door. “You’re forgetting something,” I said.
“What?” he asked, eyes widening as he looked between us.
“Your book.”
He’d put it down on a high shelf when he’d decided to help me. The golden spine was shining in the midday light from the skylights.
“Oh my. I’ll get that.”
Zan paused, moving half a metre forward. When I didn’t move back, his hands fiddled nervously with his clothes. We weren’t close together by any means, but for him to get the book he’d have to come closer than any other instance beside our first meeting. I felt like I’d manage the closeness without having a panic attack. We were about to find out.
He slid forward again, moving up on his way up to the shelf. His gaze never left me, and mine never left him. A few flashes of the past kept me frozen, but I was doing my best to disassociate those from the present. Claws and cold and pain weren’t my current reality. They weren’t Zan. Moving slowly, he floated up to grab the book and then back down, before making his way back to the door. Only then did he stop staring at me. “Thanks for the book,” he mumbled in a rush, before opening the door and moving through with the book in hand.
It banged shut behind him, and my body finally relaxed.
Completely panic attack free. I’d call that a hell of a lot of progress.
Chapter 11
Onecyclelater,I’dtalked myself into sexual freedom, the ultimate form of stress relief. The seed Zan had planted, nurtured by me and brought to life.
I woke up in the tub, waving off Zan with a small smile. One I’d never been able to gather the nerve to give him before. Something odd flashed in his eyes, like he knew my reaction was unusual, but that wasn’t possible. Then again, smiling was an odd reaction for someone who woke up in a bathtub with a ghost hovering over them, even ignoring my abject fear.
Not bothering to put on clothes, I slipped an oversized cotton tunic over my naked skin. If this went the way I was planning, I wouldn’t be keeping it on long.
When my fingers reached for the doorknob, the nerves set in.
Hard.
My hand trembled, and I bit my lip to distract myself from the thoughts suddenly running rampant. What if this was the last time I’d get to live this? Did I want to risk propositioning someone? Especially with that ‘someone’ being Kirin. He would take my one time courage as an excuse to flirt with me constantly, and offer himself up again and again.
OK, the more I thought about that one, the more I wasn’t seeing the downside.
But I’d still never be able to live this down if the men didn’t forget the incident. Grabbing my wrist to curb the shaking, I went for the doorknob again, only to jolt back when Kirin burst in, nearly hitting me with the solid wood. I’d taken too long, and now was the time to make my choice.
Door slamming against the counter, we stared at each other in silence.
His eyes had widened, pupils dilating as he inhaled and looked me over. The perusal wasn’t uncommon. He loved to look at me. I’d just never paid so much attention before. If I got on my knees for him right now, he would beg me to do what I wanted with him.
I slid my gaze down his torso, landing on the thick and growing bulge in his pants. Huge, gargantuan cock, proportioned well for his body but bigger than anything a human could have. How had I thought I could take that? Not that I would try to fuck him, or anything ridiculous. All I wanted was to suck on it. The action relaxed me, made me loose, and if I was lucky, he’d return the favour.
“When did you get in here?” he asked, his voice thick and rougher than usual.
Kirin knew I was staring at him. I didn’t stop, using the temptation to fuel my words. “Last night.”
“And you slept… in the bathing room?”
“The tub.”
Two-word answers weren’t getting me any closer to asking to suck his dick.
“Doubt that was comfortable, princess. You should have come to sleep with me.”
The ‘princess’ did it. Tearing my gaze away from his crotch, I looked into his eyes and bit my lip. Not in an attempt to look sexy; only because of my nerves. Apparently he liked it, though, if his little growl was any indication. “Maybe I will t-tonight. Or we c-could catch up on some sleep right now.”
My stutter appeared for the first time since childhood, but he didn’t mind. His plump lips stretched in a grin. What would kissing him be like? With the fangs? If this went according to plan, I was about to find out.
“Right now? Are you sure about that? I don’t even know your name.”
