“Maybe,” he said. “But it didn’t happen every night.”
“Most nights,” Neil said.
“How would you know? You didn’t even share a room with us.”
“How would you know? You didn’t even share a room with us.”
“The bunk beds rattled against the wall whenever you got up, so I could hear you climbing into Hudson’s bed every night.”
“You climbed into his bed?” I asked.
“I needed comfort from the nightmares!” Jude said. “And he was the only guy around.”
“I think we should clarify, this hasn’t actually stopped,” Hudson said. “To this day, he breaks into my room every time he has a nightmare.”
“Okay, story time is over,” Jude said.
I looked at Jude appraisingly. “Do you get nightmares a lot?”
He looked at the marshmallow he was roasting instead of at me.
“Not as much anymore,” he said. “I mostly had them when we were on the show... It was the first time I’d ever been away from home like that, and it was all a little overwhelming. Going from being an ordinary kid in a small town to being talked about in gossip magazines overnight... well, it was hard.”
“Still is sometimes,” Neil murmured.
I felt stupid for never realizing before how hard it must have been for all of them to do that. Of course, it was their choice to go on the show, and I was sure all of them dreamt of the level of fame they had now, but that didn't mean they couldn’t also have days where it was difficult. Before they came to my school, it was easy to see them as these larger-than-life figures--almost as if they'd been born in the spotlight and were destined to be famous, even though I knew intellectually it wasn't true. But now, seeing them here around the fire, sharing stories of their lives, I saw them for who they were: five teenage boys who had been given the chance of a lifetime but had to give up anysense of normalcy to see it through. Boys who had to leave their families and, in some cases, move to another country entirely on their own. Would I have the guts to do that if my mom had ever let me? If moving across the country would be my opportunity to be on the all-star cheer team, would I take it?
I wasn't sure I could. I wasn't sure I would even want to—that cheer was a dream I loved enough to pursue that much. I guess I just didn't want it badly enough.
I looked around at all of them with a newfound appreciation. They were more than just the stars of my favorite show—they were real people with tangible stories and lives that existed outside their fame.
I shivered and crossed my arms across my chest like that was going to keep me warm at all. Why hadn’t I changed out of my cheer uniform before coming here? It wasn’t exactly designed to keep me warm once the sun was down.
“Are you cold?” Jude asked.
“Oh, just a little,” I said. “But it’s okay.”
Jude smiled and got up, grabbing a blanket that had been folded near the fire. He came back and draped it around both of us, enveloping us in its warmth. I snuggled closer to him, so grateful for the comforting heat he’d provided.
“Better?” he asked.
“More than you know.”
We talked around the fire for hours, telling stories from our time on the show and laughing at memories that had been forgotten until then. I learned so much about the other boys—how they acted behind the scenes, their favorite songs from their album, the funny pranks they liked to pull on each other, and more.
Finally, when the fire had been reduced to a few glowing embers and the moon was shining brightly in the night sky, Jude yawned loudly.
“I think it might be time for me to head in,” he said. He ran his hand through my hair. “Are your parents expecting you home tonight?”
“No, I told them I'm sleeping at Jess’s place,” I said. I glanced at Megan and Hudson, who had fallen asleep on their blanket for about twenty minutes, tangled up in each other's arms. “Normally, I’d tell them I was at Megan’s, but I wasn't sure if she was planning to stay home tonight... she's been going out a lot more since she started dating Hudson.”
“Well,” he said, “if you're not in a rush, why don't you come up to my room? You could… stay over if you wanted.” He smiled at me, and I felt my heart do a flip. The offer had me blushing a little—it felt very intimate. But before I could say anything, Jude had already stood up.
“Come on,” he said with a mischievous smile. “I promise you won't regret it.”
I hesitated for a moment before grabbing his outstretched hand and letting him pull me to my feet.
“Are you fine putting out the fire?” Jude asked Zach and Neil.
