“WHAT SONG doyou want to start with tonight?” I asked as John took his place on the couch.
“Kiss.”
My favorite and he knew it. I smiled and provoked him with my swaying hips as I pushed B13 on the personal jukebox. More of my favorites would follow: D02, G16, and A04. Five minutes into our session, I was at the point in my routine where I straddled my customer’s knees, bent at the waist, and shoved his face between my exposed perfect C cups.
John’s boss entered the room and pulled the curtain back. His radiant smile turned into a devious grin; his eyes darkened the minute he saw my bare ass surrounded by straps of the thong. I swear I heard him growl. Old guys were easy to please.
It’s not unusual for friends to want a double dance, but we didn’t approve unless Hannah and I went back together. That way we could kind of tag team while keeping each other safe. Everyone knew and abided by these rules. And we only agreed to doubles when Yasmine worked so she could still serve the customers. By the end of my first night, it was clear she stayed in the front room. Tonight, however, Yasmine had called insick.
I crawled on John’s lap, held his gaze, and covered his hands with mine as they squeezed my breasts. I spoke to his boss, “Sorry, hon. One at a time.” My sweet tone sang above the beat of the music. It wasn’t the first time I had to refuse a double. When he didn’t turn around, I strengthened my voice and shrugged. “Bar rules, babe.”
Two steps later, the stone-faced older man stood behind me and above John.
I rose on my knees only to find resistance on my hips. John held me in place, never taking his eyes off mine. My stomach turned and in a shaky voice, I begged, “John. Please. Let me go.”
“Oh, but we’re not done with our songs, K.” He lifted one eyebrow.
“You know we’re only allowed one at a time back here. Please. Let me go.” I tried to wriggle out of his grip; he slapped my ass hard, and I stilled.
“Don’t tell me you never break the rules. How old are you, again?” The way he stared into my eyes told me he knew I was too young to work at the bar. “You wouldn’t want your boss to find out your real age, now, would you? Little girl.”
Stunned, I relented. John held me in place and unzipped his pants.
Too scared to move, I remained still as he forcedhimself inside me. “No.” Tears streamed down my face as dizziness flooded through me. As he had sex with my body, I felt like I was in the middle of a dream—more like a nightmare.
When he finished, he pushed me away and his boss wrapped an arm around my waist.
“Stop. Please.” It came out as a whisper; they didn’t hear me. If they did, they would have listened. Wouldn’t they? “Stop.” The words were audible the second time.
John’s evil grin gave me chills. “You know you love it.” He squeezed my breasts, hard this time. I whimpered. “She’s all yours, Gus.”
Stubble from a day-old beard scratched my cheek as Gus held me tight against him. “Baby, if you know what’s best, you’ll hush.”
Numb, I found myself bent over the arm of the couch with an old guy ramming me from behind. Pain flooded my entire body. I cried and begged them to stop. The more I spoke, the louder I got; I had found my voice and just wanted to escape.
“Relax, now. I don’t want to have to get rough with you.” Gus forced me onto the couch and smiled, suddenly ugly. “Now gimme some sugar.”
I knew if I fought them, it would only get worse. I hushed and eventually they finished.
Tears smeared my makeup. I forced myself to stop crying and cleaned myself up. In a fog, I dressed in slowmotion, not believing what had just happened. Hannah had told me sex wasn’t allowed, just dancing. She said it was okay. I believed her.
I didn’t do a very good job straightening my hair and I’m pretty sure my shirt was inside out, but I couldn’t care. Money littered the jukebox table, and I pushed it in my purse; what I had just endured, you better believe I would take the bills.
I told Willy I wasn’t feeling well as I rushed out the front door; he was oblivious. His conversation with one of his fishing buddies was evidently more important than me. Besides, business had died down and Hannah could handle the rest of the night alone. She had been on the opposite side of the room getting close with some guys in one of the booths, so she didn’t see me leave. I didn’t realize I had left my gift until after I made it home.
If other customers had a clue of what happened while Hannah or I disappeared, they didn’t let on. Of course, Willy was in on it; when someone asked how to get one of us alone, he set up the connection. He had always been kind and seemed to care. After what happened though, I wondered if Willy knew exactly what went on behind the curtain.
Before my seventeenth birthday, I only danced for the customers. Some of them wanted more, they had been clear, but Hannah had given me the best tips on how to turn them down and keep them interested at thesame time. Now it seemed obvious she had been in the same position before. I wondered if she had ever been raped.
Chapter 5
Jake, age fourteen—May 1999
DURING SPRINGthaws, mud holes popped up in random areas of the far back pasture. Legend has it that our land was once part of a glacial path and could be unstable, which was probably the reason Dad had been able to pick up so much acreage at what he called a “steal.”
Unbeknownst to me, one of these mud holes appeared along the fence line, and before I could turn the John Deere, it practically swallowed Dad’s new tractor. Three quarters of the front tires and most of the frame were under the heavy muck.
I swore into the wind before I turned the engine off, hopped down from the platform, and surveyed the situation. As I kicked the ground with each step, I figured how the bucket could be used to pull the tractor out. Relieved that my dad wouldn’t have to know about this, and I would avoid another bruised rib, I climbedback into the seat and turned the key.
