“Comin’ right up, Jake Knight.”
I watched her backside swing and felt Felix looking at me. “What?”
He lifted one eyebrow and in a sing-song voice said, “You're in love.” There was no talking him out of it once he got rolling.
Kennedy placed glasses of water in front of us and I used mine to hide my grin.
Felix ordered right away. “I’ll have the special.”
“But I haven’t told you what the special is.”
“Have we had this conversation before?” I asked.
“Stew Chicken Roti. I had no idea what to expect; the food here is so different from Alaska. I had a piece earlier, though. It's fantastic.”
“I'll have that,” Felix smiled.
I nodded. “Make that two.”
Chimes above the door signaled another customer. I hadn’t seen Kennedy frown before. I didn’t like it. A clean-cut, freshly shaved man wearing a button-up dress shirt and slacks strolled over to Kennedy and stood directly behind her. He whispered in her ear, and she instantly bowed her head.
Without raising her eyes, she pursed her lips and waited for the man to move away. She didn’t look at either of us. “I'll put your order right in.”
The man followed her behind the counter and leaned in close. If his face hadn’t been so crinkled and angry, I might have thought he was about to kiss her. Heat radiated around my chest, but that’s where my temper stopped. The pill I took earlier kept my emotions under control.
Red lines streaked Kennedy’s pretty brown eyes and her makeup had smeared. It was clear she had been crying and my shoulders sank with compassion. She returned with our food but before she set the plates in front of us, her eyes followed the man out the door. When she sighed and shook her head, my heart broke.
“Are you okay?” It wasn’t my business, but I couldn’t help but ask. She had been so happy and lively before the jerk upset her.
She offered a weak smile and blinked away tears. “I'm fine.”
Chapter 20
Kennedy, age twenty—May 2008
CODY HAD LEFTfor work the next morning, leaving me lying in bed. He snuck out without saying goodbye. At first, I found it enduring how he let me sleep in knowing I didn’t have to work the early shift. Then, as time passed, I understood his point.
Dinner cooled on the table as I waited for him to come home. He had arrived back to the room late before, but this felt different. I didn’t know if I should be upset or worried; the sense of something being wrong filled me with fear. Unable to focus on mundane tasks, I wrapped up the food and put it in the fridge, then bounced from dishes to laundry to watching TV.
I tried to ignore my feelings but by the end of the night, my mind had me convinced he had been on the wrong end of a gun or knife. Surely, he had been killed. There was no other reason for him to not come home. I had never gone to bed without him before and it hadbeen impossible to sleep.
He demanded I never call him at work, so the following day when he hadn’t been home or called by noon, I seriously considered filing a missing person’s report with the police. But what would I tell them? I had no clue how to act or react, so I went to work, like usual, and stumbled through my day.
By day three, I was beside myself. Again, I got ready for work. Like usual. I followed the sidewalk under I-45 to the restaurant. Like usual. I waited on customers, made small talk, and smiled. Like usual. Elaine sensed something wrong but didn’t ask. She made eyes at Dane, and he shrugged.
On the fourth day, when Cody still hadn’t come home, I was a mix between furious and terrified. I had been through all the emotions multiple times.What if he’s dead on the street somewhere? Would serve the asshole right.Thank goodness I had the day off so my anxiety could be trapped within the four walls of our hotel room.
On the fifth day, tears streamed down my face; I couldn’t keep them inside. I feared my husband might never come back, but I was also worried sick.Did he leave on purpose? Did he move away, or will he be back?I didn’t have any choice but to stay. However, I couldn’t afford to pay the nightly rate for the room. Not wanting to believe the worst, I chose to think he leftbecause he didn’t love me anymore.
What am I going to do if he left for good? What the hell is so bad about me that made him choose to leave? I do everything I can to keep Cody happy and prove myself to him. No matter how many times he tells me I’m not worth it, I try to prove him wrong. I am worth it. At least Elaine thought I made a good waitress. And back in Alaska, Willy used to tell me I was appreciated.
My mom used to ignore me and tell me I wouldn’t ever make anything of myself; I thought Cody would take me away from that life and those thoughts. But here I am. I set aside my dreams of being a mother to please Cody. Maybe he would accept me gaining weight if he knew it was due to a pregnancy. He promised to never leave me again. Now he’s gone. Fuck my life.
WITHOUT ANYlights on, our hotel room seemed like a cave. As I opened the door and walked in, an odd feeling of dread filled me. Chills ran up the back of my arms. The air conditioning blew from beside the window with a subtle hum. I didn’t remember turning it down so low. Behind closed blinds, the setting sun from the long day was invisible.
I closed the door behind me and waited for my eyes to adjust. I hadn’t yet become familiar enough with the small space to be able to move around without bumpinginto furniture.
Cody stood and I yelped. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me. You’re home. Thank God.” He didn’t acknowledge me, so I didn’t rush him. It could be possible he was out of his mind. Some of the pills we had shared were capable of causing odd side effects. He could be hallucinating. If I interrupted his delusion, it could be dangerous to us both.
