“I took the bus.” An unfortunate influx of my tone soothed him.
“And what have I told you about taking the bus?”
Shit. “You said I couldn’t take the busto work.”
Cody inhaled and held his breath as he tilted his head back. I had seen this action in Alaska; it wasn’t good. Last time, I got slapped for being stupid and had to use makeup to cover the fingerprints on my cheek for three days.
I flinched when he moved; I knew better than to walk away when he was in a mood. A pill I didn’trecognize appeared in the palm of his hand; he wasn’t aware how I had already taken something to relax.
“This will help you keep your figure; I noticed you’ve put on some weight. I don’t like it. My woman will stay thin and keep a flat stomach.”
My face drooped. He was not going to like my news. “What are they?”
“You don’t trust me now? How dare you ask me what I’m giving you to better yourself. To make yourself more appealing to me—your husband.”
Beside my glass lay a round blue pill. I glanced between it and Cody.
“You’ll lose the weight. Do I make myself clear? Honestly, I thought you understood this requirement, but obviously not. You must be eating away your tips at the restaurant. I refuse to be married to a fat cow. Blubber is a turnoff and when I look at you, I want to instantly get hard.”
He stood, unzipped his pants. As they fell to the floor, he reached for me with one hand. The other stroked his erection. “Let’s get that childish dress off you.” His lips twisted into an evil grin.
Apprehensive, I allowed him to pull me to my feet. I had angered and disobeyed him; usually, that meant rough sex. But his smile told me the whiskey had calmed his nerves.
He wrapped one arm around my waist and held metight enough that if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to wriggle out of his grip. Warmth from his other hand on the inside of my bare thigh aroused me. He stared into my eyes, not offering any sort of kiss. He made sure I felt the enormity of his emotion. The soft fabric of my dress gathered as he reached under it and caressed my sensitive skin.
When he stopped, I gulped. His eyes widened, then thinned. The moment he felt the fabric of my thong, his demeanor changed. I had broken the golden rule.
A low growl escaped his throat, and he picked up a steak knife off the table. Without taking his eyes off mine, Cody lifted my dress above my hip and slid the knife under the elastic of my thong, cutting it and my skin in one swift movement.
I cried out in pain. The action may have been sexy if the blade hadn’t cut me. Another scar to add to my collection. In one hard pull, the panties were ripped off. He discarded the knife on the floor then picked me up and sat me on the table. One cheek landed on a plate, and it broke under me.
Angry, he stood between my legs and stuffed the thong into my mouth. “What did I tell you about wearing skirts? Easy access all the time. Dammit, why do you deceive me?”
Pressure from him pushing fully inside me with one thrust took my breath.
I opened for him and permitted myself to enjoy his passion, whether it be created from lust or anger, or a little of both. I learned long ago that if I wanted to enjoy sex with my husband, I might have to endure a little pain.
When he was finished using my body, he pulled out of me and pushed me off the table. I caught myself before my face hit the chair. “Clean yourself up, you dirty whore. I don’t know why I bother with you.”
As I stumbled down the hallway, I wondered if it was blood or the remnants of sex that ran down my leg.
Chapter 19
Jake, age twenty-three—May 2008
BETWEEN the twoof us, the entire bottle of whiskey disappeared that night. We woke up later than usual and I had the worst hangover ever. We decided to take a day off from looking for jobs. Yesterday had worn both of us out, anyway.
Dennis had noticed how much I suffered and suggested I take a little white pill. I reached toward him not knowing, or caring, what it was. If it made me feel better, I’d take it.
He closed his fingers and stared at me. “Five dollars.”
“Fine.” At that point, I’d have probably done just about anything to make the pounding in my head go away. I gave him a five-dollar bill, took the pill from the palm of his hand, and swallowed it.
It worked a little too well. I felt fantastic within five minutes. My shoulders sank; I was more relaxed than Ihad been in a year. Although I was wide awake, my blinking slowed. Whatever worries had plagued me ten minutes prior were forgotten.
A slight breeze blew the hair out of my eyes. Sun warmed my skin, but not like it had in the previous days.Must be nearing the end of this godawful spring. Summer will be even worse.Not knowing where we were headed—and not caring—Felix and I followed Dennis’ group through parking lots and down sidewalks. Horns honked and engines revved on the highway above our heads. It wasn’t until we stopped walking that I figured out where we were.
Tents, cardboard, tarps, and garbage littered the area under an overpass. A bottle ended up in my hands and I didn’t remember gulping enough to make me dizzy. Only Dennis and Felix stood before me. The others had spread out amongst the camp.
