“I don’t think that’s the right saying.”
“Who the fuck cares?” Annoyed, I sighed and shook my head. I was done talking. The whiskey had already started to soothe my anger. In the last two weeksof waiting for the guy to call me back, I had become accustomed to having a drink with my new friends.
“I have something for you in my room. Got it from Dennis. Follow me.”
Some of the guys were sharing rooms to split costs. Felix and another Hispanic guy kept their minimal belongings in a room on the first floor. Four men sat around the coffee table and didn’t bother to stop their activity when we entered. I had never done coke, never had the desire.
Felix went into the bedroom and came back with something in his closed fist. “It’s hot and crowded in here, let’s go sit on the stairs.”
“What’s in your hand?”
Two pills sat in his palm, he took one and nodded for me to take the other. Without any idea what it was, I popped it into my mouth and chased it down my throat with a gulp of whiskey.
TIME SPENTwithmy new friend helped the days pass. After we got to know each other, we agreed to share a room to save money. Felix’s roommate had decided he was too pushy and chose to room alone. They’d been friends forever, so Felix took the rejection in stride.
“Maybe when we save enough money, we can renta house. Wouldn’t that be cool? A place we could call ours. Maybe in Cedars, a nicer area than this. I can already see it. A little white house with a little fenced-in yard. Maybe we can get a dog. You like dogs?”
“I do. I like all kinds of animals.” The dream was a way to fantasize about a different life—a better life—and I liked it.
“We need to have enough for first and last month’s rent, electricity, and water, but that shouldn’t take very long to save.”
Felix knew way more than I did about what bills we needed to think about. I had no idea paying for water was a thing. We had a well at the farm and I assumed everyone else did, too. Paying two months’ rent before even moving into a place didn’t make sense to me. Like, why would I give someone money for something I hadn’t done yet?
The whiskey bottle grew heavy in my hand; I felt the need to lighten the weight of it. Three gulps later, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand before passing it to Felix. Cable was not an option and the TV only offered three channels. Two showed the news, relaying information in Spanish.
Exhausted and a little drunk—okay, a lot drunk—I just wanted to get some sleep. The sound of Felix’s voice mixed with the words I couldn’t understand irritated me. I ignored him and closed my eyes.
“We should go to the Stop and Shop and also Irene’s restaurant in the morning to see if they have any openings. I bet they’d give us dishwasher jobs or stockers, or something.”
“Mmm hmm.” I closed my eyes and allowed the room to spin around me, kind of like my life in general.
“BEFORE MY cousinwent to prison, he knew everyone. I haven’t been around for a while, but he assured me that all I need to do is mention his name and people will do whatever we want,” Felix said. “For sure, someone who owns a gas station or restaurant will let us work for them. Maybe even a handyman. I know how to fix most anything. Except cars.”
Vehicles rolled past as we trudged to the next gas station. The manager wasn’t available at the first place we stopped. Felix entered the door to the next location with confidence to spare.
“Vato!” Felix greeted the attendant like he was a long-lost friend.
The man tilted his head. “Do I know you?”
“Amigo, it’s me. Felix.”
An empty stare was his only response.
“Felix, you know. Armando’s cousin. Armando from Mexico.”
The man lifted his eyebrows, shook his head, thenturned away. Another rejection.
Every day for a week, Felix and I walked down the street and asked every gas station we passed if there were any open positions. Either the manager wasn’t in that day, or they flat-out denied us an opportunity. I didn’t let it bother me, though. I figured eventually we’d find something. Every evening, we drank and played cards while the TV rambled on in Spanish.
We quickly fell into a comfortable routine. By week two, we had exhausted our gas station possibilities and decided to start visiting restaurants. There had to be someone willing to give us a chance. We popped some aspirin, took a shower, put on semi-clean clothes, and headed out the door around one o’clock.
The way we figured it, after the busy lunch hour, the owners would realize how much they needed another employee or two and would give us a job.
“Y’all find anything, yet?” Dennis spent most of his time either in the parking lot with some friends or walking to and from the nearby homeless camp under the freeway. He had been watching our job hunt and encouraged us to keep looking.
“Not yet. Today we’re going to some restaurants and bars. Someone has to need extra hands.” I shrugged.
Felix took the brown bag which Dennis held at arm’s length and took a big gulp. He handed it to me, and I followed suit.
