The pills disguised the slap across my face as a playful nudge; I didn’t care that my cheek was on fire. All I wanted was for him to make love to me. It was as if I was back in Alaska, dancing. I missed the familiar sounds and smells; I missed my friends. Oddly, I missed my regulars. Only another shot of whiskey could make the experience better.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He wrapped one hand in my short hair and yanked my head back. He didn’t expect me to moan and grind myself into him, hard. Either it pissed him off or turned him on, both resulted in the same reaction.
I held on for the ride. No matter how hard he pulled me down and pushed into me, I took all of him and made sure he knew how much I liked it.
The next morning, my body reminded me of what kind of night we had had. Along with my insides hurting, fingerprint bruises covered my hips, ass, and breasts. The playful nip ended up being a full-on bite; I could see his individual teeth marks on my skin.
Confused when I studied my face in the mirror and touched the purple around my eye, I wondered out loud, “Did he hit me?” As it turned out, the slap had been more than playful. No matter how many layers of makeup I applied, the unnatural coloring around my eye still peeked through.
BREAKFASTusually consisted of cereal, so when I woke the following morning to the scent of bacon frying, my heart raced. Excited, I strode into the kitchen with a renewed outlook on life. I vaguely remembered Cody being upset because I had explored the city on my own.
Our old life must be playing into the new. Pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, and English muffins covered two plates. We had always spent weekend mornings in bed in Alaska.This is a nice change.“Cody? Is everything okay?”
“Of course, babe.” He licked bacon grease off hisfingers. “What? Am I not allowed to make my best girl a nice breakfast? I figured we could spend the day strolling around the local area. Maybe get to know some of the business owners.”
“That sounds great. And this smells fantastic.” I wrapped my arms around his chest from behind and inhaled. “Almost as good as you.”
Family stores within a five-block radius sold everything from groceries to liquor to clothes and shoes. I had stopped at a couple of them on my first day out, but I didn’t want Cody to know I had experienced something without him. We entered every open door and introduced ourselves to whoever would listen, which I thought was a bit odd if our plan was to move by the end of the week.
Elaine’s Kitchen sat at the corner of Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and S. Malcolm X Blvd; Cody suggested we stop for a snack. Six tables lined the front of the restaurant, three on each side of the door. Ten stools sat in front of the bar, nineteen-sixties style.
We sat at the only empty table and ordered jerk chicken. “Listen, Kennedy. I’m not going to make enough to cover the full expenses; you need to find a job.”
I couldn’t believe my ears.That’s it? No apology, no explanation?“Um. Okay.” Unsure of how he expected me to respond, I paused.
“Your little day out cost us too much money. Not to mention, you spent too much on food. I don’t know who taught you how to shop, but now that we’re paying our own way, everything you put in the cart needs to be on sale. Period. Besides, the hotel will drain my pocket faster than I thought, too. If you weren’t so needy, I’d have stayed in a shithole.”
He was wrong; I barely spent any money on the day I explored. He didn’t even look at the grocery receipt, so how would he know what anything costs? Prices were different than in Alaska. And I thought I understood his hotel rating, but I had obviously misjudged; we were already staying in a shithole.
“Why don’t you ask if this place needs help? It’s close to the hotel and looks pretty clean. Besides, it will do you good to learn how to do something besides dancing for money.”
Ouch. I raised my eyebrows and waited for him to give a better reason for the sudden request.Couldn’t he sell something? Like his watch or my necklace?I didn’t dare ask; he’d probably punish me for talking back.
Taking both of my hands in his, he gazed into my eyes and confessed. “The application for the apartment is on hold until I can prove we’ll be able to pay the entire amount each month. I thought I’d be making more, but the number they quoted me is what I’ll make after my internship. I’m a little pissed about their error, but wecan make it work if you get a job, too.”
“But you said you didn’t want me to work. You hated my job in Alaska.”
He leaned closer and hissed, “Did I say I wanted you to fuck the entire town of Dallas? Jesus Kennedy, when did you become so brainless?”
“Well,” not wanting to draw attention to our conversation, I ignored his comment. “I don’t have anything to keep me busy until we get our own place, so it doesn’t sound like a horrible idea. I’ve never worked in a diner before, but I guess I can ask if they have a position open.”
Our hotel sat just four blocks away, and the bus stopped in front of both buildings, which made it a perfect location for me to work. The more I thought about it, the better the idea of having a job sounded. “Hey, maybe I could put an application in at the water park or even the zoo.” My eyes lit up as excitement made my heart swell. “I saw on the news that the state fair is coming in August; people swarm the fairgrounds for an entire month. I bet I could get a job there.”
Cody sighed, bored with my ideas. “And just how do you plan on getting that far? You certainly can’t walk, and my hours will definitely be different than yours, so I can’t drop you off.”
“I’ll take the bus.”
“The hell you will.” Releasing my hands, he leanedback. “You’re trying to make us broke before we even get started. Come on, Kennedy. Use your head, for once, would you? Think.”
MY PATH TOwork took me under one of the major highways; I-45. Homeless men had constructed makeshift homes from tents, tarps, and cardboard. I couldn’t help but think about how these men who involved themselves in a tawdry scene had arrived at such a sad segment of their lives.
Crack pipes and heroin needles scattered the ground around them. Chills ran through me as I tried to tell myself I was safe. It was early, so most of the men were still sleeping; those who weren’t kept their eyes glued to me as I passed.
Finding a job had been unexpected and having to walk in an area which wasn’t the safest made me nervous, but I figured if I could make friends with some of the people in the area, I would be better off.
I waved or nodded at the residents under the bridge, hoping one day, they might have my back. Memories of walking home in the dark after working at the bar brought a familiar feeling of unease. At least in Dallas, bears wouldn’t be a threat.
Elaine greeted me with a smile as I entered her restaurant; I reciprocated. My experience as a server hadgotten me the job. Waitressing wasn’t rocket science, but it took a certain kind of person to treat all the customers in the same manner.
