I think he just insulted me, but I’m not sure.With achuckle, I squinted and wondered what he meant. I didn’t dare ask; it would feel shitty to know that my husband compared me to semi-attractive women. I pushed it aside.
“After I graduate in a few weeks, I was thinking we could move somewhere warm. Like this spring. We should start looking for houses. What do you think?”
“But my mom …”
“Jesus, do we need to do this before we even enjoy our food? You know how to ruin the best days.” His first glass of wine disappeared in seconds. I managed to sip mine even though I thought my tongue would stick to the roof of my mouth, it was so dry.
“Sorry. I just …” Determined to recover the mood, I forced enthusiasm into my voice. “Warm sounds fantastic. I would give anything to get away from this miserable cold. Where were you thinking?”
“Well, my counselor mentioned how Dallas is in a hiring boom and the hospitals pay really well, especially after the internship.” Cody went on and on about our future in Dallas and how wonderful it would be to explore new areas. I still hadn’t been any further than Anchorage and hoped we could see more of Alaska before we left. But I internalized the thought just in case Cody wasn’t in the mood for my selfishness.
Dinner was a fantastic ensemble of flavors; the steak was superb, and the wine and dessertcomplimented each other. Wine had a different effect on me than whiskey; everything was funny, and I found myself giggling at the simplest things. After just one bottle, I giggled too loud, and my husband frowned.
Two horseswhinnied as we approached the final segment of my special night: a carriage ride through the snowy streets of Anchorage. The treat had been icing on the cake. Cody held my hand as I climbed into the tiny cart. His smile melted my heart.
“Wow, Kennedy, you went all out, didn’t you?” Compliments in any form confirmed his love for me. Quoting my favorite song lyrics was my favorite; sometimes, he would do it in the middle of a sentence.
Cold air leaked into my parka. I shivered and Cody pulled the blanket over our lap and put his arm around me so he could pull me closer. “I never imagined I could love someone so much. You’re my world, Kennedy. What would I do without you by my side?” He kissed the top of my head. “You complete me.”
When it was good with Cody, it was so good; better than any life I could have imagined.This must be what heaven feels like.I closed my eyes and pictured our new home in Dallas.
A two-story brick with white pillars on the front porch and white doors and trim. A two-car garage withtwo new shiny cars parked inside. My dreams had grown with the amount of money Cody told me he would be able to make as a psychologist.
As I snuggled into his embrace, I pictured our future together. Cody said he wanted two-point-five kids and maybe even a cat named Snickers. We don’t need a lot of land, just enough for the kids to play and be happy in the fenced backyard. Our life was going to be perfect. This was just the beginning.
MY HEAD SNAPPEDback, and something cracked. If I had been cooking, I would have thought Cody cracked a carrot in half behind my head.That’s what breaking bones must sound like.Why would I think that?
Everything moved in slow motion.My body twisted and brown curls spun out around my face like a fan.My arms went limp, and my knees buckled.
The edge of the Formica countertop connected with my chin on the way to the floor, a sound like thunder after a bright burst of lightning filled my ears.
Bright red streaks of blood spattered across the countertop and on the window above the sink.
Considering the position of my body on the floor, it must have looked like a scene in a murder mystery.
When I regained consciousness, I asked myself what had just happened, but the answer escaped me;myright cheek pulsed.It took me a minute to realize that he had hit me. I didn't remember him making contact, but he stood over me with his fist still clenched, huffing.
Not sure if I should laugh or cry, I did a little of both.Relieved, now that the aggression had left his soul, I was a little scared of what would happen next.
Tight and hot, my face hurt;the beginning of a bruise raised on my cheek. My head ached, more like pounded, and my heartbeat pulsed in my chin.Blood crusted at the corner of my eye.I assumed it had to be blood—how could drool reach my eye?
God, if you're real, please let this be a bad dream.I will settle for a nightmare.Please.This can't be happening again.
A voice reached my ears and for a moment, I thought God had answered me. Then I was able to make out the words.
“You plan a date at the most prestigious, most expensive restaurant in all of Alaska only to show up looking like a whore. What the fuck were you thinking wearing a dress so short? Your ass cheeks hung out. And so tight, you left nothing to the imagination. I could see your nipples. Dammit, Kennedy, you’re my wife. You must have left the house to buy it—without my permission. Who the fuck do you think you are? You put our free ride in jeopardy. If my dad finds out …”
Speechless, I could hardly believe what had justhappened. From the floor, Cody seemed to double in size. His breathing scared me, his fists hadn’t unclenched, and I wondered how many more punches were in my future.
No more punches, just a kick. My stomach absorbed his boot and I gasped from the impact; the breath kicked clear out of me.
“Did you see who sat at the table beside us? The fucking mayor. One look at you and he about lost his mind. His mouth dropped and drool practically dripped from his lips. His wife covered her mouth; I bet she was so disgusted by the sight of you that she threw up.”
Calm came over Cody like a wave. His shoulders sank and his fists released. It seemed as if speaking his thoughts brought him out of his rage. He twisted the top off a bottle of whiskey and drank straight from it. Gulped.
Cody reached out his hand as if he wanted to help me to my feet. When his fingers wrapped around mine, he squinted. “And your fucking hair. How many times do I need to tell you? You know I don’t want to see you without straight hair. You look like one of my prissy classmates. Like you don’t appreciate what you have.”
Halfway to my feet, he let me go; I landed sideways on my ankle and cried out in pain.
