“Shut the fuck up,” the guard behind me growls as he holds a tighter grip on my arm.
“Fuck you!” I spit out.
“Naya, watch it,” Ray warns me, and at this moment, I hate him.
With every fiber of my being, I despise him for allowing the guards to mistreat Grey, stopping our ill-fated escape attempt, and shattering my faith in him. Despite my belief that he was one of the better guards, it turns out he is just as bad as the others.
He let the guards take Grey from me.
I am lifted off the ground and carried around like a doll, going through the institutes where all the patients stare oddly at me as if I’m the one who’s crazy.
Iamcrazy. I have finally lost my mind and sanity.
It’s not until I’m pushed into a room with walls and floors made of chilling stone that I realize where they have led me. It feels like my heart is pounding so hard against my ribcage that it’s trying to break through, and I hear my voice screaming inside my head, begging for release, yet no sound comes from my mouth. As I hear the door slam shut with a loud thud, my body shivers from the coldness and fear of the darkness that now engulfs me.
I am once again stuck in the basement where it all began.
––––––––
THE DAYS MERGE, BLURRINGthe lines until I can no longer distinguish between morning and night. All I know is the aching in my back from the unforgivingly solid floor. There’s no flicker of light in the room, and besides my raspy breaths, there is no sound in the eerie darkness. I feel swelling in one of my eyes; no matter how hard I try, it seems impossible to open it. Whenever I bring my finger near my eye to gauge the sensation, I experience a whole-body shudder from the pain that could become even more intense.
The bald guard made sure to punish me for my attitude by throwing a punch in my face, and I didn’t even have time to react or fight him back before he was gone. The swelling has finally become less painful, which means I’ve been here longer than I thought.
I can’t help but wonder where Grey is, and I’m hoping with all my heart that he is alright and not going through any more hardship than I am. The thought of him hurting makes me want to scream and weep all at once.
Being stuck in this place with only soup twice a day provided by one of the guards has made me feel detached from my body. It’s like my mind blocks out reality, disconnecting myself from the world and its impending danger.
Some days I’m sure this is one of my punishments from the master. He must have found me and thrown me into the basement, where only bad dollies are taken. I can almost feel him close, as intimidating as Mr. Ricci.
“You have been a very bad doll, Naya.”
I can still hear his voice in my head, it echoes around me with a taunting sound that makes my nerves quiver. When I close my eyes, I can still picture that awful, too-wide smile that always appeared on his lips after punishing someone.
He wanted me to suffer, and look at me now, I am fucking suffering. He won.
The cold from the basement washes over me as if from an invisible entity, and I force myself to curl up into a ball. The powerful smell of something masculine with a hint of dark floral notes invades my nostrils, and tears form in the corners of my eyes as I am reminded of the memories.
Grey’s scent. This is how he smells.
As the door to the cellar slowly creaks open, I almost expect to find the master’s frail and withered body, his veins a testament to his long years of life. There is a whimper in the back of my throat, and I squeeze myself into as small a space as possible. He has come for me, he is not done punishing me. He will never be done.
“You will be my new favorite doll, Naya.”
His voice gets stuck in my head, and I tear at the skin on my foot to relieve the pain. I welcome the pain, letting it consume me instead of the master’s voice, and soon I grit my teeth when I’ve ripped off too much skin from my heel.
It will heal in a few days, so it’s okay.
“Naya, you’re free to leave.”
The voice belongs to Ray, but I cannot muster the energy to stand up. This basement provided solace from the outside world, despite being uncomfortable. I don’t deserve to be here, alive and breathing. Especially not since Rebecca can’t do the same. Her soul, which is pure and innocent, should be the one to grow and develop in the world, to ascend and become better, rather than my corrupted and tainted one.
I feel like a bomb has detonated in my chest, sending shockwaves of grief coursing through me and making me want to curl up in a corner and remain hidden forever. I want to forget the pain. I don’t want to feel anything. In the end, all I want is numbness because that is better than these raw emotions inside me.
“Naya.” Ray’s voice is gentle and caring as he comes closer while reaching his hand to me.
Refusing to accept his offer, I force myself to stand up without his assistance, turning my back on him as I leave the basement room. When I look at him, I can’t help but want to kill him after everything he has done and destroyed, but I know that will lead to even more trouble for me. I feel like a robot as I walk toward the door at the end of the basement corridor effortlessly. I enter the upper floors of the institute, my eyes void of emotion, my skin crawling with dread at the thought of the basement below.
I know I have to shower and that I probably look like crap after spending all that time in the basement, but I cannot bring myself to do any of those things. Not until I have found Grey. The first place I look is the cafeteria, where several people pour in for their meals.
