Of the betrayal.
I cried until there was no water left to expel, until there was no pain left to howl inside my soul and until there was nothing in my mind but focus.
The answer to all this was a simple one, or so I hoped.
There was one central person for each attack, one that led the entire camp and what became the key to the entire fight: Dahr.
Without him, there would be no explosion. Without him there would be no death and possibly, hopefully, without him, there would be no camp.
There was only one thing I could do.
Kill him.
It turns out, killing didn't come as natural to me as it did the rest of these people. I had several weapons at my disposal when Dahr returned to the tent, including the massive armoury he’d kept displayed on the left side, like some sort of honour wall. I had long since discovered the fake leather flap that covered his weapons, and I had access to them whenever I needed to.
It was the first time I was holding a weapon with the intention of harming someone. It felt so different to the knives and chisels I had been working with my entire life, which had been used to transform and bring life to the ephemeral blocks of stone. The intention of usage must have an effect on the weight of the weapon, because I had tested several in my hand and every time I picked one up, it felt as though my wrist had to support a full tonne of guilt instead of the few hundred grams of the metal.
None of it mattered though, because when the time came to act, I found myself frozen and unable to even speak, let alone jump at my enemy and slash his throat, the way I had been planning to do all day.
I did keep myself strong enough, however, to deny his closeness, faking I was too tired. Surprisingly, Dahr made sure we had dinner before he placed me into the cosy blankets on the side of the bed that I had claimed as mine and held me as I fell asleep while he peppered kisses on my neck and down my shoulder.
He was the one who fell asleep before I did since the new information and uncertainty spined around in my mind until they mixed together in a tumultuous lump of anxiety that remained lodged into my chest for the rest of the night and long into the following day.
“Nora, are you even listening to me?” Karisha’s fingers snapped in my face to draw my attention and bring me to the present. The tribe lady leaned in to fix her blue eyes on me and study my face, which must have looked as lost as I felt.
“Sorry, I am just tired…” I shook my head and forced a smile, but my lips felt strange performing the actions. Karisha’s presence hurt me more than I thought it would. I had had time to mourn Dahr’s loss and the small bud of love we had started to form, but I did not give myself time to weep the friendship I was losing with Karisha.
This woman had been in my life almost every day since my arrival. She’d been the one to bring me food, she’d been the one to have me cleaned and even dressed my wounds. The tribe lady had treated me like a companion, like a friend and she even told me secrets and revealed her hopes and dreams to me. I had expected her to at least be honest, to give me a fighting chance… not that I had any hopes of saving myself. But I had at least hoped my friend would have done something totryand save me. I was sick of faking, of putting all my energy into appearing my casual happy self instead of using my entire brain power on focusing on my plan.
“I can see that, but you’re also a little… off,” Karisha leaned further in to look at me, studying my features with full commitment as if her gaze could slide off the mask I was concealing. So I let her see. I removed my fears and let this facade drop. It was time, after all.
“Maybe this happens to a person when they find out they will be killed next week,” I spat out, the words sharply shoving themselves into my victim, who was so shocked that her body fell.
I did not move from where I was sitting in bed when I saw Karisha fall to her knees as though something had hit her at the back of the head. I knew the feeling all too well. Her breaths came out in deep panting episodes, and she needed long seconds to calm down enough to speak. “You know.”
“I do,” I nodded, keeping my eyes on her. I felt my gaze falling with accusation, carrying the entire force of the betrayal I had struggled to cope with for the past twenty-four hours. “And I expected more from you, Karisha. I expected more from someone who keeps calling herself my friend,” I spat, without feeling any shred of remorse.
“Nora, I—” long tears poured down her cheeks and down into her cleavage as Karisha remained on her knees in front of me, sobbing her guilt.
“I don’t care.” I stopped her. “I don’t care what you have to say, I don’t care what your justification is for lying to me. I understand Dahr, he’s the one who has to kill me after all. I understand Markos protecting his cousin and his tribe, but you were supposed to be my friend. You called yourself my sister, time and time again. You made plans for the future, Karisha!” I broke, feeling the burn of tears sliding down my face and did not move to wipe them away. She had to see them. I needed her to see them.
“Nora, please. You have to understand,” Karisha moved her hand to reach me, but I shifted away and stood to keep myself away from her touch. To put my body far from her reach, at least for now.
“Nora, please, listen,” she continued crawling on those floors, without making a gesture to stand, too desperate to move to my side, yet not feeling empowered enough to level with me.
I didn't have time to get away when her hands grabbed the side of my dress, the seams snapping at the force of her pull. I wanted to shake her away, but her fingers remained deeply embedded in the thin fabric, keeping me in place.
“Nora, please, you have to understand. We’re all desperately trying to find a solution to save you. Markos even sent a letter to the captain to ask for support and Dahr has already contacted General Raakim several times to demand a detour of your town. Please, you have to understand, we’re all doing every—”
“No, Karisha,” I finally managed to move away, uncaring that the dress ripped into pieces under her hold. “I don’t have to understand anything. You lied to me. You chose to lie to me!” I howled, the despair finally ripping through my throat. “I trusted you! All of you! I followed you around and I helped in every way I could. I even started to dream about having a life here. With all of you! Instead, you chose to make a show out of me and wrapped me in a string of lies!” My eyes burnt with more unshed tears, which I refused to let out.
“Nora, Dahr wouldn’t have accepted a mating request from you if he didn’t have hopes for a future together. I don’t know why he told you right now and did not follow the plan but—”
“Stop it!” I heard my shout reverberate through her tent. “Stop lying to me! Just stop!”
“Nora…” Karisha remained on her knees, head bowed, the river of tears staining her cleavage while her hair fell down her shoulders, covering her back and part of the floor.
“I’m done here,” I said as I circled around her and left her tent, faking I didn’t hear her cries.
