I did not feel the need to question him, I did not feel scared.
I was just… tired.
And for some reason, I felt safe in that bed with him.
Morning, however, came with a rustling of senses and thoughts, all of them demanding immediate resolution. As anticipated, adrenaline abandoned my body and let my sore muscles feel the full weight of yesterday’s events.
My memory played out the image of Dahr, holding those heads as casually as one carries a bag of groceries, on a loop, and no matter how much I wanted to put a pause on my thoughts, there was no way of stopping them.
What was I doing?
Who was I becoming?
Not that I condoned the two men’s judgement and their lack of character. Hitting a woman was never okay. Hitting someone that was weaker than you was not okay. Hell, hitting in generalwas not okay. Part of me wondered if I had done something to deserve it. If, by running into the sea, by not telling Sylam where I was going and just bolting out of the tent in search of temporary freedom had been the catalyst of all these events.
And part of me hated myself for the reaction I had. For the way I had allowed myself to feel and for the fact that I did not fight Dahr or reprimand him for his actions. Moreover, I had slept in his bed again, as if to give him a reward for his actions. To my shame, I had grazed my body with his more than a few times, making it look like an accident.
Something was wrong with me. Something was very, very wrong. Needing some space from Dahr, I jumped out of the bed and ran back to my smaller one as soon as morning broke. I had to put a stop to it and could not prolong these stolen moments any longer.
“What are you doing?” Dahr immediately reacted at the loss of my body from his bed.
I didnot dignify him with an answer, especially not when he was the spark of all my burning problems. I needed to get away from him, more than anything.
“March!” he raised his voice from the bed, an unspoken command for me to return.
“My name is not March!” I snapped at him, then regained my composure and nestled into my bed. Not that I had any chance of going to sleep, but because I needed to reinforce this message.
That I couldn’t stay by his side anymore.
To both him and to myself.
“Nora…” I heard Dahr say my name slowly, reverence shaking in his tone. “Please, tell me what is wrong.”
I heard the bed sheets rustling, I heard him move and at the thought that he was stepping closer to me, my heart started thumping like crazy. I needed these uncontrollable feelings tostop. I needed to regain control of my analytical mind and my logical self if I ever wanted to get out of here. I couldn’t continue like this, acting like a silly girl gushing over the man who ruined my life.
“What’s wrong?” I had to take a long moment to gain control of myself, forcing reason back into my senses. “This is what is wrong,” I moved from the bed to face him, finding him towering over my bed, possibly in an attempt to come to my small mattress if I had escaped his. I had to push away the part of me that thought this was endearing and bring forth the one that was raging at him, desperate to lash out at something. Someone.
“You,” I pointed at him. “Me,” I touched my own chest for emphasis. “This!” I motioned around the tent. “The fact that you think this is okay. The fact that I should be satisfied with living another day and not being killed in one of your rage-induced activities.”
I couldn’t stand feeling inferior, not when he was towering over me and brimming with power, so I pushed myself from bed. Like never before. Were he not so much taller than me, I would have breathed in his face, but alas, I had to be satisfied with levelling my forehead with his clavicle, because that was all I could reach. Nevertheless, I looked up at him and made sure to furrow my brows, tighten my jaw and press my lips together to display my anger.
Instead of getting him to react in some way, however, Dahr blinked at me with benevolence. Dare I say, the corners of his lips even pulled up a little, hiding a smile. Definitely not giving me the desired effect.
“What?” I shouted at him, annoyed that he wasn’t taking this seriously.
“You look cute when you are angry,” he grinned at me and lowered his head just slightly, as if to better study me.
That was it. I lost it.
I completely abandoned all control and thoughts of self-preservation, letting my rage dictate my actions. I didn’t know how or why, but my fists pushed into his chest, in a poor attempt to shove him away as I shouted. “Fuck you, Dahr!”
Dahr looked at me with new conviction then, as if I had unlocked a tether to a leash I didn’t know he was holding on to. His inky gaze turned ravenous and the mocking smile on his face fell into a seductive one.
“Would you like that?” he quirked a brow, challenging me.
“I never want anything to do with you!” I shouted and moved to push him again, only this time, he was prepared. In a slow and careful movement, Dahr shifted to the side to catch both my wrists, before he twisted me and pressed my back to his chest, keeping me captive in his hold. My wrists were trapped in a single hand, while the other lowered onto my stomach and down to my hips, pressing me harder onto him. Making me feel the warmth of his skin and the swollen bulge in his pants.
“Is that so, March?” he leaned in and whispered a challenge into my ear, raising shivers down my body.
