I was done. I had enough. The bodies formed a wall around me, piled up to the ceiling. My throat bled, the chains pulled tighter across my neck, squeezing my trachea and veins along with it. The muscles on my arms and legs faded and chunks of flesh hung from the chains, denouncing what was once an athletic male form. I felt as useless as those bodily remains, only that, through some will of the goddesses, my spirit glued together the remaining pieces of me.
I wanted to fade away, for the pain to stop, for the urge to destroy to give out. I had nothing left to give. I was no one. And I wanted to be gone.Various steps approached, hurried, and I hoped this time they would be the ones to take a life. My life.
But I was wrong. The instinct returned, the need to hurt.
I didn’t know how I could stand; I didn’t understand it. But I pushed on and limped closer to the door, hiding behind the pile of bodies to make myself scarce.
Dagger in hand, I waited for the creak of the hinges to attack, knowing exactly how far my new opponent needed to step away from life and into my death lair.
One step, two, and three. There it was, I had him. I would rip the male apart. I’d do it quickly, one slide across his throat should be enough. So I pointed my dagger and waited.
Only a female walked in, looking disgusted and scared. Her eyes fell on me and widened, her face the embodiment of shock.
She remained paralysed at the sight of me.
“Ansgar,” she spoke.
Chapter Nineteen
I spent the next three days with my parents. I did not miss a single meal and even accompanied mom for cocktail dress shopping one afternoon. I did not want to know how Cressi was spending this time, cooped up somewhere with Rhylan, but he would not be a threat any longer once we left. I hoped that he would remain just an interesting guy my friend remembered and joked about when we were old and bragged about ‘the olden days’.
As for me, I barely slept, counting the seconds until I saw Ansgar again and worried about Rhylan’s open admission of his lies and wondering what I was getting myself into.
But I did as instructed, kept my calm and tried not to show fear, organised the next year for the association and finances, and read as much about the firelings as I could find online.
I knew nothing could really prepare me for what I was about to witness and Vikram’s last words did everything but settle my emotions. What if Ansgar was hurt? What if they’d done something to him? What if— No. I paused my thoughts, trying to keep everything as positive as possible.
After all, I was going to see my prince again, alive. What more could I ask for?
“Ready, sprout?” The usual knock on my door announced the fireling’s presence, making me run to open it wide.
Rhylan and Cressi stood in the doorway, wrapped in an embrace and my friend’s eyes were red and teary. I wanted to jump in and hug her, reassure her that I would be okay, that I would return soon and everything would be as it was. Until I understood I was not the reason for her tears, just as her arms wrapped themselves even tighter around Rhylan’s waist. And he planted a kiss on her hair.
I had never seen Cressi like this, except that month when her parents passed and did not know how to react or what to say. If she really loved Rhylan, if this wasn’t just one of the hot-guy-flings my friend so often entertained herself with, I had to be the one held accountable for her tears. Because I was the reason Rhylan came here, I asked her to keep him company, so basically, I threw her in his arms and now I was taking him away. Trading her boyfriend for my own.
“I love you, Cressi,” I whispered as I stepped closer to her, planting a soft kiss on her cheek and she unwrapped herself from Rhylan just enough to give me a short hug.
“Take care, I’m sure we’ll see each other soon,” she replied with a quick smile, though her eyes reflected sadness.
I made my way downstairs to find mom and dad in the living room and hugged them both as tightly as I could, going over everything once again and reminding them that we would be remote for a while and that I wasn't sure how long until I could call them.
“Ready to go?” Rhylan’s voice announced his presence once again, catching me trapped in another hug offered by my father.
“Yes, I’m ready,” I said as I untangled myself from dad, stamped another kiss on mom’s cheek, and shared a quick hug with Cressi. Then we headed to the car where a few bags of luggage had been stored in the trunk and the driver passed Rhylan the keys.
We insisted on driving ourselves to the airport, more to avoid suspicion than the actual willingness to spend extra time in each other’s proximity.
I lowered the window and waved at them some more, remembering the moment I got in the plane to go to Evigt and how different the feeling resounded right now. If back then I had been hopeful and curious, now I felt resentful and weary.
I was a completely different person, ready to visit another faerie kingdom.
Within the following twenty minutes, we both remained silent while Rhylan followed the GPS instructions to the parking we had booked, a quiet one where we could easily fade away without too many security cameras witnessing our disappearance.
My heart beat a thousand times per minute and I knew he could sense it, I knew I showed evidence of my nerves and anxiety, but I could barely keep it together as it was. I would soon see Ansgar. The thought made my pulse jump so rapidly I could easily have a heart attack right there in the car.
“Excited much?” Rhylan broke the silence and forced me to focus on the present. I turned to him for the first time since we departed and studied his features, the tight jaw and lack of amusement he usually displayed. Rhylan was not having a good time. His eyes kept dropping to his hands rather than the road and out of curiosity I did the same. I spotted nothing in particular, except a black bracelet, elegant and perfectly fitting his style, hanging from his left wrist. It must have been important because he kept staring at it with longing.
“Someone needs to be, you look like your dog died,” I replied, careful not to mention or even hint to my friend. I knew Cressi took the separation hard, but by Rhylan’s tight jaw and the anxious grip on the steering wheel, I could tell he wasn’t having fun either.
