“I need to know if this belongs to your brother,” I showed him the locks of golden-brown hair which I pressed tight in the palm of my hand, protecting it like a valuable treasure. “I need to know if Ansgar is still alive,” I pleaded with him, piercing him with my eyes and hoping he would see the truth in their stare.
“My brother’s energy vanished, there is nothing remaining of him,” Vikram clarified and each of his words shoved a dagger in my heart. He also made sure to expel them slowly, forcing me to grasp each one and enjoyed the harm they did to me. The prince crossed his arms over his silver breastplate, covering the reflection I cast onto his commander uniform.
“That’s what I thought too.” I did not know where the strength to protest came from, if not from the desperation to keep hoping, from my sheer need to keep Ansgar alive just a bit longer, to postpone the reality that could come hit me like a freight train within the next second. “I saw him go, I held the stack of leaves he left behind, I was there when the last breath came out of his body.” Tears streamed down my face at the memory, at the fact that I had seen the two men I loved most in my life, my brother and my mate, vanish in front of me in such a short amount of time. Loss had become a ghost to accompany me, tied to my heart like an unbreakable thread.
I did not know if the description of what I had witnessed, the new information I gave him —that I was there with his brother, that I had been the one to see him go— or his mere pity for a woman crying made him relax and step closer to me, abandoning the formal stance he adopted at his arrival.
“What happened?” Vikram approached and without caring or realising that we offered a spectacle to all the faeries around, that Faelar and Matthyaz remained in their original position, holding the army that had been threatening me since I had arrived, took a seat on the ground, shifting enough to make himself comfortable as though we could be there a long time. I wanted to do the same and come close to him, but before I had a chance to crouch, Vikram lifted his arms to his shoulders and undid the cape that usually accompanied his armour and folded it like a blanket, then placed it on the ground. For me to sit on. Even now, the prince showed kindness.
I could not contain it any longer and let myself fall on my knees, hands instinctively arching over his shoulders, my face pressed to the side of his cheek, and wept. I cuddled myself in his long dark hair, the scent of earth that seemed to accompany the royal family, and allowed myself to cry, to release all the tension and loss, knowing that, for the first time ever, the person next to me completely understood my emotions. Because he felt the same.
I stayed there for minutes, hugging the brother that had shown me kindness, the one that broke and remade our relationship, and the one who joked and laughed at our union. One who missed Ansgar as much as I did.
To my surprise, his hands wrapped around my body and pressed onto me, at first gently and reassuring, then tighter and more determined, my feelings flowing through him. We could somehow relate better, the tighter the embrace.
By the time I finished sobbing, his shoulder armour full of tears and snot, which I tried to discreetly clean with my sleeve, we had been left alone. Probably a silent order Vikram gave while holding the weeping pile of mess I had turned into. Only he remained, with his dark features shining in the sunset and eyes more understanding than a few minutes ago.
“Can you tell me what happened?” he asked slowly, gently, with all the compassion he could muster, afraid that the question would ruin the calmer state of me.
I nodded and wiped my nose, then cleaned more of his armour as best as I could and sat on the cloak he arranged for me. I could not look at him, could not face what I’d done not knowing that his eyes would question every stupid decision I had made, so I pointed my gaze towards the grass, towards my shoes, anywhere except his direction.
“The tea I had to come into the kingdom, it was Cloutie root.” I sighed and expected a wave of curses or Vikram asking me how could I’d been so stupid. But he did not show any surprise, only asked, “How did you know it would bring you to the kingdom?”
“I didn’t,” I quickly added. “It was Rhylan who told me so. He infiltrated the forest guard, the men who kept bringing me food and cared for me while I stayed in the forest,” I clarified, unsure if he had the details already. “He said his grandmother's sister mated a fae and gave her the tea to come visit. I believed him,” I stopped to draw a breath, wishing to go back in time and stop myself from committing such foolishness.
“A few days later, Rhylan came in and Ansgar attacked him. Then he demanded payment and they both went away to sort it out without me being present. By the time he came back, Ansgar became sick, he vomited and then had a fever the next day. I called for help and one of the elders told me what had happened. I came back to see him barely alive. He—” I waved my head, forcing the new tears away, and swallowed hard at the dry lump in my throat. “He died minutes later and his body turned into dry leaves within the next instant.”
It came Vikram’s turn to swallow hard, so hard that his gulp could be heard from a mile away.
“Where did you get the hair?” he asked.
“From Rhylan,” I quickly said and at the portrait of shock on his face, I started explaining how I created the association and how Rhylan had shown up after a year, trying to convince me that Ansgar was still alive, how he asked to live in my house and about the contract, the scheduled visit to the Fire Kingdom and why we’d come to the forest that particular night.
Through it all, the colours on Vikram’s face shifted so abruptly that even a disco ball would be jealous. Red with anger, green with disgust, and yellow with shock just to name a few.
The prince had to stand and take a few steps to arrange his thoughts, only then did he speak.
“Allow me to ensure I grasp full understanding. Fear Gorta wants to spend time with you, and take you to the Fire Kingdom after he made you sign a deal?”
I nodded quickly and wished I had the contract to show him until I realised I’d taken a picture with my phone, so I quickly found it in my jean pocket and zoomed the photo enough for Vikram to see. Thank god for no restrictions this time and for Vikram knowing how to handle a smartphone.
“And the bait he is using is Ansgar. The promise that my brother is alive?” The prince wanted to make sure he understood correctly.
“Yes,” I quickly added while he returned the phone to me.
“We definitely need the queen for this,” he said and as he did, he started dragging me towards the trees.
I followed and watched in surprise as Vikram removed his shoes and pointed me to do the same, then, from a small satchel tied to his waist, which I didn't even notice before, he grabbed some kind of white powder which he started rubbing onto the soles of his feet. Once he finished, the prince grabbed some more and passed it to me, a silent order to do the same.
One would be scared to go into the kingdom again, especially after what happened the first time, but this was Vikram — I calmed my nerves and savagely beating heart — and I had to trust him. Even if the queen ordered to kill me, I had to risk it. Part of me hoped that she would have the same reaction as her son, and help me find out the truth and bring Ansgar back.
I did as requested and rubbed the white powder onto my feet, with Vikram watching my every move. It must have been valuable because I dropped half of it on the ground while rubbing my right foot and he growled in annoyance, just as he took out a bit more powder and placed it gently in my hand, his dark gaze the only warning to be more careful this time.
Once my soles were so full that white marks remained behind my step, the commander grabbed my hand and urged me to walk and follow him.
For the next two minutes, the middle prince and I spun around the trunk of a huge Cloutie tree until the powder on our feet created a white circle around the roots. Part of me wanted to laugh at the ridicule of the situation, the fact that if someone saw us, they must think us crazy. Walking in circles, barefoot, around a big tree.
“It’s ready,” Vikram stopped abruptly but did not let go of my hand. “Step inside and don’t let go,” he said and I did as directed, holding his hand tightly while his fingers wrapped around me in a firm grip.
