I remembered her splayed out on a desk, in an opulent room somewhere, her naked back completely at my mercy. I remember slamming into her so hard that the wooden desk moved and dragged her further towards the wall, where she remained captive to me, with no space left to escape. She moaned my name, overcome by pleasure, and my hands had drafted over every single inch of her sweaty body, grabbing and teasing, incapacitated by her sweet release on me. I felt her core clenching me tighter, begging for more, and I gave her every part of me, unrelenting and obsessed until I too had fallen trapped in my pleasure.
I remember how wide my eyes had been when she turned and started giggling, still prisoner to my body. “We just damaged a historical piece,” she had said, her melodious voice sounding raspy since her throat had worked overtime, expelling moan after moan.
I loved to see her laugh, to finally see her happy and unburdened. Why had she been so sad before? I did not know, but every part of me needed to go back to that desk and repeat the session an infinite amount of times.It felt better than the white veil of nothing, better than breathing.
“Where is she?” I asked the voice, decided to leave that place and follow wherever I might find her. I did not care about the pain this time. Even though it came in substantial thrusts into every vein of my body, she was worth it. Being with her trumped suffering.
“Tell me where she is,” I asked the voice again and struggled to move my head and find its direction. My eyes wouldn’t open, or if they did, they could only spot darkness. I did not know. I jerked my muscles awake, they needed to shift out of this sensation. They needed to take me back to Anwen.
“You remember her?” the voice asked. It felt happier, lighter somehow, as though a shrivel of hope had just flown over it.
“Anwen is my mate.” I replied. “I love her. I need to go back to her. Where is she?”
A thousand questions flooded me. I did not know where I was, my senses became numb and thrashing pain overpowered my body every time I even sketched a thought or tried to recall more of those sweet moments where we joined in pleasure.
I needed them, I needed to transport myself there and be with her again, relive them until I found a way out and back to her. She proved to be the only thing stronger than the pain.
“Remember her,” the voice said again and a hand touched my right arm.Which felt trapped, tied to something. I commanded the muscles to move and raise the hand, the arm, a finger even, to no avail. With every inch, a heavy pressure forced it in place. I did the same with my left arm and my legs, then with my chest and neck, but every part became pierced by the pressure. I was strapped, the voice did not want me to move.
“Why?” I asked, demanded from the voice. Why had it made me remember, only to keep me prisoner? Prisoner. That is what I was.Fire Kingdom. The king.
“Marreth?” I asked. Suddenly everything fit into place, and I realised where I was, and what had happened. The king broke my bones and I had to suffer punishment. Theywanted to kill me.
“I can’t believe you remember! How is this even possible?” the commander said. He had been the voice. The one who forced me back.
“What is happening to me?” I did not understand why he stood by my side instead of following orders.
“I don’t have much time, you’ve been out of it all night and Serpium will come in soon enough. Just listen. I can’t release you or even give you a sip of water, he would know. And it would hurt the serum,” he explained.
“When are they giving it to me?” I remembered the purpose of said poison. To make me one of them. As they had done to Marreth and many others, to later be sacrificed in battle. It mustn't work so well, since here Marreth stood, by my side, working against his king.
“They already have; this is your first dose. Listen, prince, there will be more. Many more, until you become one of them. Us,” he stopped to correct himself. “I am told I needed ten doses, for you it might be more. Think of it like a drug, once you have a taste there is no turning back. You have to fight it, as it will become stronger. It will take everything away.”
“I remember white and nothing. I didn’t even have a body anymore. Are my eyes covered?” I asked, suddenly afraid of what Serpium might have done while I drifted off.
A small scratch on my cheek revealed candlelight and Marreth's face close to mine. He pulled the blindfold just enough so I could see slithers of my surroundings.
“You still have both eyes, prince.” I didn’t even need to tell him my worry, he immediately understood. After all, we both knew what Serpium was capable of. His head turned a few times and pinched several parts of my body.
“Feel that?” he asked quickly.
“Yes,” I replied with slight excitement, happy that all my body parts remained intact.
“Now listen, Serpium is pissed. He wanted to make a show of killing you. So if this doesn’t work, he might still suggest it to the king. I heard you begged for death,” he stopped and threw me a pitying look.
“A better option than this.” I did not shy, there was no point anymore. I had been trapped in a chair all night after being slammed repeatedly against marble walls and tortured for an entire year. My life prospects did not sound too good.
“In that case, you have to fight it. If your transition proves unsuccessful, there is nothing else they can do, but kill you. At least you’ll be free to dine with your goddess,” Marreth replied with admiration and longing. He too had wanted to dine with his goddess, I came to understand.
Our ancestors believed that once the three goddesses left their mortal form, they departed, to another planet or galaxy, maybe to start it all over again. To create another world. The energy that we held in life bound us to them, and at the time of our death, we would be transported into their new kingdoms and welcomed by the goddess to her new creation, where life started all over again. The goddesses dined with each one of the arrivals, to welcome and embrace them, before assigning them a role in their new life. It was something we all longed for.
“How do I fight it?” I immediately asked, eager to learn.
“Think about whatever keeps you grounded. Your mother seemed to bring you back for a while but pain took you back again. Your mate’s memory woke you up. Think about them all the time. Find moments to keep you centred. Every time a memory resurfaces, it will be painful, every dose makes it more so. To the point where you become so afraid of the pain that you give up. That is when they change you. Don’t let them,” he urged.
Footsteps resonated behind the door causing Marreth to pull the blindfold down onto my face and step away from me.
“Why are you helping me?” I didn’t hesitate to ask.
