“How old are you really?” another wild escape from my mouth. This time, I supported the haste.
“I am twenty-seven.”
“No, but really. How old are you actually? In human years.”
He looked at me with disbelief and repeated. “I am twenty-seven years old. I have had twenty-seven birthday parties, including the one on my birth,” he clarified. For dummies.
“Aren’t fae really old? Like centuries old?” From what I read, and my knowledge from popular culture, these kinds of beings did not share our age and were always centuries old or even immortal.
“They used to be, until the human population grew to such an extent that it took a toll on our common energy. My great-great-great-grandfather for example lived to be three hundred and fourteen, he lived in the times of Shakespeare and collected his works. But now we do not live more than a hundred and twenty, some, one fifty. We live, grow old and die, same as humans do,” he explained while he filled my plate with fruit, cheeses, vegetables and stuffed mushrooms and peppers. Amongst all the things the human population did to destroy the planet, this new information pained me to a deeper level. We were shortening the lives of those who dedicated theirs to protect our world.
“What did you mean by our first courting?” My question took him by surprise. He almost choked with the wine. After a second, Ansgar dried his mouth with his fingers and placed the glass back onto the table, suddenly staring into me.
“I would like to make my intentions clear, though I planned to do so at the end of this picnic.”
Damn, if this was a picnic with Ansgar, I wondered what a romantic dinner would be.
“Anwen, I find myself extremely attracted to you, my energy is screaming for your presence whenever you are not by my side and I find myself in need of your company in moments one should not even be thinking about companionship. At my hardest times, your face, the memory of your smile and caresses keep me at ease and I shall like to request the joy of your presence furthermore, should you be willing, of course.” He expulsed the long sentence in a single breath, speaking clearly and loud enough, taking certain intonations at specific moments. He had practiced this exact phrase many times over.
“Ansgar,” the words didn’t come to me nor did I care to make another big speech as he had done. I just wanted to get it over with and make it official. “Are you my boyfriend?” I asked with a swarm of butterflies inundating my stomach like I was fourteen again, in love for the first time.
“Yes,” he replied decisively, “if you wish me to be.”
I nodded, keeping my eyes on his. I couldn’t part myself from those beautiful ashen waves flowing in his vision.
He smiled and held my hand over the table, planting many kisses on my knuckles, my palm, all the way up to my wrist. Suddenly I was not hungry or thirsty for food anymore and I rose from my seat and took the steps alongside the table that separated us, situating myself onto his lap in a determined movement. He shifted his knees to make more room for me and, without letting go of my hand, placed it across his heart, allowing me to feel his heartbeat.
The emotion inside it echoed so great that I did not contain myself anymore. I pressed my lips frantically onto his, parting them open with my tongue. I had never wanted anything more than I wanted Ansgar at that moment. Our tongues caught a glimpse of one another and, immediately recognised the familiar taste.
He groaned when I moved against him, grinding up and down along his growing hardness, making his breath uneasy. His grasp on my hips tightened. Grateful for my wardrobe choice, I lifted my dress in a single movement and uncovered myself to him, throwing it on the ground. I remained in my underwear and reconnected with his groin with only the soft lace covering the last piece of me. His hands and mouth reclaimed their rightful position across my breasts, caressing and sucking and I continued grinding on him, eagerly needing to feel more and more. Whatever plans I had of holding back, they long vanished and I found myself ready to surrender to him fully, then and there, under this piece of heaven that he had created just for me.
Hearing my thoughts, Ansgar stopped his teasing of my nipples for a mere second to hoister me up into his arms, my legs still spread across him. He laid us on the ground where a blanket of petals had magically appeared, perfect for him to stretch over, maintaining my position on top of him and surrendering to my teasing movements.
It was my turn to torture his broad chest. I allowed my tongue to lick across the tight pecs while my hands caressed his abs and started travelling lower, until they reached the waist of his pants. This time, they were allowed to slip under and feel the hardness that had teased me for days. Ansgar let out a groan as I reached for him, pulled him in my hand and started moving him up and down. My fingers teased the veins that pulsated across the tick length of him. I had only seen it once, but as my hands were allowed to feel it for the first time, my insides twisted at the thought of the union, imagining the pleasure it would bring. I lowered his pants and allowed his length to come out, the sight of it making me shudder as well as awakening desire.
Suddenly, I found my mouth craving it. I was never the type to enjoy placing my mouth on male parts. The few times I had done it had been out of insistence or because I had received oral sex and it seemed only right to return it. But this one, what Ansgar had for me, invited me for a taste. Without thinking, my mouth lowered towards it with excitement and craving but before I placed my tongue on it, it was taken away from my sight. My body shifted into a different position, with Ansgar no longer under me but jumping up and forcing his cock back into his pants, tying the string and shaking his head in disapproval.
“What is wrong?” I touched his shoulder blade, wanting to make him turn back to me, not understanding his hesitance. “I want to…” I clarified, if only to appease any remorse he may feel for some unknown reason.
“I… Anwen… I can't,” he looked back at me, panting, proving that his body clearly wanted this.
“Why? Don’t you find me attractive enough?” I suddenly became very aware of my naked body and how the position I sat in created rolls across my stomach. I covered myself placing my arms across my tummy.
“What? No! Anwen, don’t you ever say that!” He hoisted me back into his arms again, holding me tightly. “I am absolutely enchanted with you, so much so that I can barely contain myself when I am around you.”
“Then why?” I placed my hand on his upper thigh, unable to stop, remembering that just mere seconds ago he groaned in pleasure under me.
He looked away, pursing his lips, deciding whether to confide in me or not, so I squeezed his arm, trying to reassure him.
“I haven’t done this before,” he blurted out the words and swallowed drily, showing how much effort their coming out had cost him.
“What, have sex in a forest? It's fine with me, but if you are uncomfortable we can go back to the mansion. I have a bed there,” I replied with pride, thinking I had sorted all the world’s problems. His expression darkened.
“Not in a forest… specifically, just, generally…” he awkwardly replied and looked at me with clouds in those beautiful eyes of his.
“With a human?” I whispered, feeling even more aware of my imperfections. Were we anatomically different? Was that what he was trying to tell me? I knew sex between fae and humans was possible, he confirmed it himself, yet he looked at me in such a way that I knew something must be wrong. “Is it because I am human?” I pressed.
He shook his head in denial, then took a breath so deep that his eyes closed along with it. Like he needed to disconnect from the world and gather the strength to tell me whatever he needed to.
