“Yes?” I released a breath.
“Should I visit on another full moon?” she turned her head gently, posing for a portrait that she knew would remain carved into my memory until the next time we met.
“Please do, Ama,” I returned the smile.
Chapter Seventeen
I woke up with an urge to go for a run, and for the first time in a week, I decided to listen to my instincts. The investigation on my brother’s travel led to the conclusion that he wanted me to find something inside the forest. Something that possibly connected with the other three territories in the world, whose magnetic resonance and natural phenomena differed greatly from their surrounding regions. Four unexplainable places on the globe. And I was in one of them.
I did not find an exact map of the forest, the history books I had ordered offered very little information of the inside of the location, so the best course of action was to take advantage of my privileged position and make the most of my time here. I printed the satellite mapping of the territory and knew the overall shape of the district, so the next step urged for exploration and discovery.
After half an hour, I felt ready to conquer the world, comfortably wrapped in my usual attire, leggings, a matching gym top and pink trainers, with a backpack fully packed with water bottles, doritos, sandwiches and a notebook and pen. I planned to walk towards the river and followed the bank, in hope to find the place where Ansgar and I watched the sunset together. I wanted to climb the cliff and spread my yoga mat, also nestled in the backpack, along the plateau and spend the day tracing every path I was able to sketch on my map.
I packed the keys in one of the zipper pockets and started frolicking around the forest. Everything felt new and magical to my eyes, a wave of magic washed out over the woodland and gave it a newer, shinier appearance since I saw it last. The past month had done wonders for the development and growth of the place. The trees stood taller and greener, the paths I used to take completely changed and alleys of flowers replaced the dark leaf corridors. Even the birds sounded happier.
After taking a few breaths and clearing my senses, I started walking towards the river. On the way, I discovered many new plants, flowers and new animals and stopped so many times to watch them that an hour’s walk turned into several. By the time I got to the river, it was already midday. Trying to remember which way I went last time, I followed the stream upwards, hoping memory served me correctly. The flow of water echoed melodious and harmonious, in perfect symphony with the chanting of parrots, a new addition to the forest.
I felt drawn by the sounds and wanted to participate, so I took off my trainers and socks and took a few steps into the river, the cold water caressing and reviving my calves. I enjoyed the feeling so much that I continued to walk by the river, following the stream and splashing around with every step, giggling at the tickles and whistling from time to time to encourage the birds to start a new song.
Finally, the conglomerate of cliffs materialised and I stepped out of the river, put the socks and shoes back on and walked around the big cliffs, trying to find the stairs Ansgar used the first time I visited this part of the woods. It didn’t take long to find a carving into the cliff with abrupt etchings placed systematically across the surface, leading all the way up. I did not remember climbing them the first time, since being in the man’s arms had taken a toll on the rest of my memories from that night, but this was not what I expected. Judging by the way he had so leisurely stepped on these up and down carrying me, I hoped for even terrain. Instead, I found a very serious climb that forced me to use both hands and knees to be able to make it safely up.
Taking a deep breath to encourage myself, I started climbing onto the rough carvings, up, up, up, using my feet and arms as balance when the height proved too abrupt or I made the mistake to look down. I wasn’t afraid of heights and enjoyed the views from a helicopter or a plexiglass floor, but going alone in a forest, without a safety harness or someone to at least know where to find me, made me wary and insecure in my own abilities. I took the climb slow and rested as often as I needed, making sure to be safe at every moment.
That was, until I reached the plateau above and the secure feeling I tried to impose onto myself during the climb went off the window. Or in this case, went off the cliff. I hoped that all the feelings and confusion I had experienced were due to my solitude, but no, it had everything to do with Ansgar.
Ansgar, who was lying on the plateau, shirtless, with his pants rolled up above his knees and dishevelled hair, sprawled across the shiny platform. My stomach dropped so low it almost touched the ground and my pulse started racing, breath uneven.
What was I supposed to do? I ducked away from sight and crouched on the last stair, bending to make myself disappear from sight. I considered climbing down and disappearing, but if he moved or wanted to climb down and saw me running away, I would look silly and childish.
I decided to be brave and face him, maybe muffle an apology, stay for a minute and leave, making an excuse about forgetting sunscreen or something trivial enough that he wouldn’t even pay attention. I retreated a step, making it seem I just arrived and released a stretching sound, like I grew tired from the effort to reach the top. I even took the final step with a full palm, splaying it across the plateau with a snapping sound, making sure to pant. A deep breath and my head popped up with rehearsed surprise, only to find him in the same position, not making a single gesture to acknowledge my presence.
“That was a long way up!” I heard myself say before even thinking, pushing me fully on the platform, but he remained immobile.
Is he giving me the silent treatment?Rage rose inside of me at this childish behaviour. Sure, I wasn’t the nicest neighbour out there and I did cancel plans and basically told him I did not want to meet with him ever again, but I deserved at least a ‘hello’ or a nod of the head, something to acknowledge me. I frowned and started walking towards where he lay stretched on the crystal surface, deciding to make him at least look at me.
“Generally, when someone arrives somewhere, the other person greets them,” I huffed as I continued to walk towards him. Ansgar had the nerve to keep ignoring me, as though I wasn’t even there.Fine, I’ll just ignore him too.
I removed my backpack and pulled out the yoga mat I had carried for half the day. I did not know how he could stretch on the hot crystals bare skinned because I touched the surface with the palm of my hand and instantly felt the burn. The sunlight had been warming the lucent top of the cliff all day and it was piping hot, yet the man looked perfectly comfortable just lying there. I sat on my mat and drank a sip of water, by some kind of miracle, it was cold and refreshing.
“Care for a drink?” I scoffed more than offered to the shirtless man stretched close. No answer again.That was my last try, screw you.
I pulled out my map and a pen, opened it and looked around for inspiration. The scenery beamed absolutely gorgeous, so beautiful I had to stop and observe for a few moments, humbled by the marvel decorating the horizon. The sun shone high up in the sky, hanging effortlessly like a king reigning over the artistry of the universe with the forest and the river mixing together in perfect harmony. For a while, I forgot about everything, about my own plans and just stopped and admired. Until I was rudely interrupted. I almost forgot he was there, taken away on the currents of air along with the wings of the birds I had been following with a curious eye, until a heavyhand fell on me and made me tense.
When I arrived on the plateau, Ansgar was facing the river, with his back to me, but now he had twisted, facing my direction if I didn’t count all the hair that fell on his face, covering most of it. His head rested on his left arm, twisted in such a way that it formed a pillow supporting his neck. He was asleep, I realised and all the anger immediately turned into tenderness.
I watched his chest rise and drop, slow and relaxed, his ribs expanding with each breath, making his muscles even fuller. His golden-brown hair gleamed in the sunlight, positioned perfectly to protect his face from the hot rays, making only his lips and part of his nose visible. I wanted to see his eyes, watch his long lashes curl up inside one another and enjoy the peaceful look on his face. My crazy self-decided to do just that.
Before moving, I blew some air towards him and coughed once or twice to see if he would wake up, but he seemed to be soundly asleep so I lowered myself on the yoga mat to be at the same height as him, turning to one side, making our faces almost touch. I had no idea where this nerve came from, but the impulse weighed stronger than reason.
Ready to make an excuse if he suddenly woke up, I made very slow movements, taking a strand of his hair and pulling it away, revealing part of his nose. He did not move or react.Good, I thought and repeated the gesture over and over again, until his entire face remained free of any wild hair and completely uncovered for me. He looked peaceful and absolutely gorgeous, his face relaxed and mouth slightly open, those long eyelashes that I put so much effort into seeing casually resting, nestled into one another.
My brain lost control over my fingers as they traced along his cheekbone, feeling his soft skin, then, seeing it lead to no reaction from him, they continued onto his cheek until they reached his chin and rested there, afraid to sever the connection of their touch.
Fully aware that I played with fire, I urged my fingers to repeat the movement backwards, sliding upwards towards his cheekbone. Gaining more courage, I allowed my palm to caress his face. Then grey eyes opened wide, boring into me.
I froze, hand halting the movement but maintaining its position on his face. Ansgar looked startled at first, a deep breath accompanied his awakening and looked around a few times, studying my face, the sky and the hot crystals he stretched on. They returned back to me, penetrating and questioning.
He seemed to realise what I had been doing and a sly smile creeped on his face at which I snapped back and moved to withdraw my hand. Too slow, as his own palm cupped it and forced it to maintain its place onto his face. I stopped pulling, there was no point in denying what I had done and part of him did not seem to mind, as he continued to cup my hand into his and moved under my touch, until his lips placed a kiss on my fingers. My thumb resumed its usual movement along his face, by instinct more than anything, and he smiled widely, his eyes glinting.
