The first ten minutes were spent replenishing the calories they’d expended that morning, even though game-day practices were light. They slowed the chowing down once the chicken was gone.
Scott bit the end off another breadstick, chewed, and eyed Cross. “Okay. Spit it out.”
“What?” Cross stared down at his own bread.
“Hah. Not the food. You invited me here for a reason, but you haven’t said one word.”
“The food’s better hot.”
“The hot stuff’s gone now. What’s up?”
Cross had spent a bunch of his spare time today trying to figure out his approach. He’d come up with a lot of options, but none of them were great. He blurted, “Was it hard, coming out in the League?” Heat flushed through him. “I mean, of course it was, sorry.”
Scott shrugged. “Hard and not at the same time. It hasn’t been a picnic, having some fans burning my jersey and some players turning into bigger assholes than they used to be. Or the League having shitfits about theexample I was settingas a poly gay man. But at the same time, keeping that secret wassomuch work and stress. Hiding Will and Casey, pretending to be into dating women, flipping pronouns. I can focus on hockey now, like I couldn’t before. And there isnothinglike having my guys watching me at a game and being able to kiss them afterward for everyone to see.” Scott grinned widely.
“Yeah. I suppose. I can see that.” He couldn’t imagine kissing Rusty in public, but he could imagine skating up to where Rusty stood behind the glass and flipping him a puck. Putting his hand on the glass and having Rusty match him on the other side, their palms aligned. Playing a Rafters game with Rusty watching and not having to care who knew about them.
He realized he’d been silent for a while. Scott was watching him, his grin faded to something gentle. “Hey, Cross, something you want to tell me?”
“I think I might be gay. Or bisexual. Bi-romantic, anyhow.” Because loving Willow had never been enough to get past his demi brain, but sex with Rusty had come closer. He hadn’t jerked off after their FaceTime session, but he’d felt warm and content, and he’d thought about it.
“That’s cool,” Scott told him. “I won’t say anything, of course, but if you wanted to come out to the team, I’d have your back and so would most of the guys.”
“Not all of them.”
“No, not all. But you and me versus some third line winger? You know who management would trade in a heartbeat if need be, and it wouldn’t be us.”
“True.” There were some advantages to being the core of the team’s success. “Was thatthird line wingerthing just an example?” Cross didn’t socialize in the same circles as O’Donnell or Vikken.
Scott wrinkled his nose. “Odie’s a nasty little creep, but he’s smart enough not to be blatant. He’s all about the icky jokes and then pretending to remember and saying, ‘Oh, sorry Edzie, you’re probablysensitiveabout that.’ I thought Nate was going to smear him across the boards in practice last month.”
“Isthatwhat the hit was about?” Goldie had checked Odie up against the boards hard enough that Odie had to go home and apply some ice for the rest of the day.
Scott grinned. “Yeah. My guys have my back. They’d have yours too, if you came out.”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” Dating a guy was one thing. Dating a player ten years younger— a goddamnedteenagereven if Rusty didn’t seem like one— was another.
“You can ask me questions, too. Anything. I promise I won’t get offended or whatever.” Scott nudged Cross’s foot with his. “Gay sex is awesome, right? And having a guy there to hold you when you need a hug? Even more awesome.”
“You prefer a hug to sex?” He hadn’t got that impression from Scott.
“Well, notprefer, but you can get sex anywhere, right? A guy who really cares about you is a hell of a lot harder to find.”
“You found one.”
“I found two. And I would do anything— I meananything— to keep them. I’d have quit hockey before I gave up Casey and Will.”
Cross nodded slowly. He didn’t think he felt like that about Rusty. If someone said Cross was being too inappropriate for the NHL and he had to quit if he wanted to stay with Rusty, would he? No. Probably not… Not yet, anyway.
He rubbed his face. He had other questions, and if he didn’t ask them now, he probably never would. “Have you ever done phone sex? Like, video?”
Scott barked a laugh. “All the time. Like,allthe time. I’m here or travelling around the country, while Casey and Will are back home in Kansas, too busy to travel much. If we didn’t FaceTime, I’d never get laid.”
“Do you, like, come when you do that? Or watch them?” Cross could tell his face was on fire, but he forged on. “Do you ever tell them what to do, you know, together or to themselves?”
“Yeah, sometimes,” Scott said, as if that wasn’t a stupid question. “I’m a bossy shit, so I like to order them around and it’s fucking hot to watch.”
“But that’s not BDSM, right?”
