That was perhaps a self-serving association to make. Other than recent political violence, wolves had never been victims the way a lot of queer people had. We’d had a tendency to make our enemies disappear, not the reverse. But we were at risk now. I’d use what tools I could to make humans think well of us, and not just because I wanted Kendrick to like me. A little werewolf boy had been kidnapped amid all the violence, and the safety of kids like Dylan was top of my list.
“Sure. Of course, I see the parallel.” Kendrick hesitated, as if not sure he should say more, but then forged on. “You understand my concerns, right? About you being here. The documentary said there’s no way for a werewolf to, like, turn a human into a wolf. Is that true?”
“No more than you can make a straight man gay.” I tried to lighten the mood by sweeping my gaze up and down him.“Although if he hangs around you… let’s say orientation may sometimes be a work in progress, but werewolf DNA isn’t. Wolves are born, not made.”
He snorted at the implied compliment, but it did ease his posture some. “Are there still people gunning for werewolves? The documentary said some creep even put out bounties a decade ago, paying people to shoot werewolves.”
I had to fight to keep any hint of the angry wolf out of my voice. “Yeah. More than one, actually, and more recently than ten years, too. It’s not just lone bigots. Every year, we fight efforts in state capitols to reduce our rights or deny our safety as wolves.”
“Fuck. That does have nasty echoes, right?” He reached out as if to touch my arm, and although he aborted the gesture, his expression was kind. “Have you ever been in danger?”
“Not me personally.”Not from humans, anyway.“We still keep our younger boys out of the public eye. Like, some of their classmates know they’re from wolf families, but the dads are discreet. Since we were shoving a giant werewolf under people’s noses tonight, we didn’t trick-or-treat in our own neighborhood, so no one would recognize the child riding the werewolf. People are getting used to us, but there are jerks everywhere and occasionally they’re dangerous.”
“People suck.” He folded his arms across his middle, a painful distance in his eyes, and I wondered what he was remembering. But he shrugged the moment off to give me a smile. “If you hadn’t showed up in wolf form, I’d assume you were human like me, just another gay man. You seem like some guy I might meet at Pride, buying a rainbow bumper sticker that says, ‘Let me make something perfectly queer.’ Is that unusual for a werewolf?”
“Werewolves are all kinds of people. Although that bumper sticker wouldn’t go over well with some of my pack.”
“Ouch. Not gay-friendly?”
“You might say that.” Absently, I unwrapped a peanut butter candy bar. We weren’t allowed to breathe a word of just how vicious homophobia in the packs had been before the big reveal, although pictures of Simon Conley, the first out gay wolf, with a rifle target superimposed on his head, were still easy to find online. I didn’t want to undo the wolf-empathy I’d asked for, but I did add, “Some of my pack are older guys and slow to change their ways. Like some humans.”
Kendrick nodded slowly. “My grandpa’s never met Larissa.”
That echoed painfully in my chest, because my grandfather would’ve buried me in a deep hole if he’d known, but I kept my tone gentle. “His loss.”
“Do they give you any trouble? Your, um, older packmates, I mean?”
I shrugged a shoulder because some certainly would, if they knew. We had no out gay wolves in our pack and personally, I figured I was the only closeted one. I’d kept an eye out, watching for averted looks or aroused scents, but if I had company in my closet, they were even better at playing straight than me. I stuffed the candy bar into my mouth and unwrapped another.
Kendrick eyed me with something soft in his expression. “If you ever wanted to hang out with a bunch of queer guys— I mean, maybe you already do, but if you don’t, I have a group of friends who meet a couple of times a month. It’s kind of turned into the queer parenting group lately because three of us have kids, but a couple of the guys are still single. You’d be welcome.”
I couldn’t fathom what that was like, just sitting around with other gay men, shooting the breeze or whatever with sex off the table. I assumed a gay parenting group wasn’t a euphemism for a gang bang. Some kind of ache welled up in my gut, because I’d never been open around a group of men like me. Never dared. “Thanks. ’Preciate it.”
Kendrick set his hand on mine, where I was fiddling with the empty wrapper. “I’ll text you the info for the next meeting, if you like.”
What Ilikedwas the touch of his hand on mine, and his scent in my nose. I liked that he was focused on me, all his attention on my face, and even though he knew I was a werewolf I didn’t smell an ounce of fear in him now. I said, “Sure.” Suddenly I needed to get out of there. I slid my hand out from under his and pushed to my feet. “Thanks for the meal. I can probably shift now and get out of your hair.”
“You don’t have to run if you need more time. I might have a bag of cookies.”
I couldn’t help smiling. “I bet you’re a great dad. But no, I’m good.”
“I hadn’t realized you werewolves couldn’t just shift when you wanted to. I mean, the documentary said you didn’t need a full moon, so I figured it was just your choice.”
“Up to a point. It takes energy.” Of course, hiding werewolf vulnerabilities was also a thing, so I added, “Some wolves, Alphas especially, can go back and forth a bunch of times at will. But I’d shifted to wolf before we came out tonight, then back to skin here. Two shifts close together are enough that I like to refuel after. But I’m good to go now.”
“Will you find your friends? Or just run home? Do you live nearby?”
“Not super near.” Alpha had picked a neighborhood a solid twenty-minute drive away.
“I could give you a lift home, if I bring Larissa.”
I was torn, aching for the chance to sit next to a guy I liked and shoot the breeze, driving down the road with his kid in the back like this was all fucking normal. And yet, I didn’t dare trust this moment— not Kendrick’s discretion about where I lived, or my own confused feelings. “I’ll be fine. Running is what wolves do.I won’t mind a chance to stretch my legs.” And maybe run off some of the weird emotions that’d surfaced in the last hour.
“You’ll eat again when you get home if you need to? And maybe message me that you got back safe? You should have my number, and if the text didn’t go through to your phone, your friend has it.”
I planned to go in by my dog door with the hidden lock, scarf down a bunch of food, and sack out in fur until morning, definitely not shift again so soon. I didn’t want to say so, though. “I love that you care, but I’m a big boy. I’ll be fine, I promise. I run for hours at a time a lot of nights.”Because I have nothing better to do.I didn’t want to examine that thought either.
“So that’s what keeps you so fit, huh?” Kendrick’s smile went a little wicked as he flicked a glance toward my thick thighs exposed below the poncho.
