“Okaaay. Well, if she’s not worried enough to pursue it immediately, that’s a good thing.” I heard him sigh. “A very good thing. I’m so glad. What are you doing the rest of the day?”
I’d seen my parole officer yesterday, so I could please myself right now. “I think I’ll go to the cat café, have a brew— well, after my hour wait time is up— and pet some kitties.”
“I envy you. I need to go deal with a new supplier who keeps sending the wrong things. I swear, they might be cheaper but when you add in the time I spend fixing their clusterfucks, I don’t think it’s a win.”
“Sorry to hear it. Will I see you after work?”
“Are you kidding? I’ll be there as soon as I can get free and cleaned up.”
“You could bring some clothes to keep at my place,” I suggested, not sure if he’d go for it. “Shower off and change there. Less driving.”
“Maybe.” He hesitated. “Mom’s doing better lately so I don’t have to check in as often. So maybe.”
“Whatever works for you,” I said easily. “See you when you get there.”
The café was half full in the middle of the afternoon. The staff greeted me with fist-bumps and smiles, and showed me posters they’d made for my benefit concert on Sunday. Their artist had created coloring book versions and they’d begun posting the crayoned-in ones on the walls. Since I still had thirty minutes before I could eat and drink, I sat down with a poster and a box of crayons. I was giving myself a rainbow beret and beard when my phone rang.
Chaser Lost’s “Tree in the Forest” ringtone. I answered. “Hey, Pete, since when do you call me?”
“Since you got crappy at answering my texts and messages. Any changes for next week?”
“Coming in Saturday. Eight-whatever time my plane is scheduled that I can’t actually remember.”
“I’ll be there.” His tone warmed. “Gonna be awesome to see you.”
“Same.” I hesitated. “Hey, did you or any of the band ever have vocal cord nodules?”
“Nope. Been lucky.” He paused. “Oh, crap, don’t tell me.”
“Yeah. It’s not too bad yet. My pitch still seems good, can’t hold the notes quite as long. A bit raspy on the tone.”
“You’re still going to sing?”
“Absolutely. As long as I won’t embarrass myself. I can give my voice a real rest afterward.”
“Okay, you know your body. Anything we can do?”
“I changed up the set list. Let me email it to you.” I got into my mail and sent the info winging off. “Went more folky and less hard rock. Not as good a fit for the venue, maybe, but I’m trying to avoid voice strain. I think this all triggered when I performed a bunch of harder songs fromHawk Untetheredin a row.”
“Sucks. That’s some of your best work. But sure, we’ll run through the new list a few times before you arrive. Keep the practices to a minimum.”
“You’re the best.” I was so lucky, really. “Can’t wait to see you and everyone.”
“You’ll be blown away. Quinn cut his hair and shaved off his beard. We tell him he looks like an aging boy band drummer now.”
“Can’t wait,” I repeated.
“See you then.”
I stuck my phone into my pocket, bought coffee and a donut, and watched the clock until I could have them. A pair of half-grown black and white cats romped across the floor, mock-battling, tails fluffed to bottle-brush, until they suddenly declared a truce. Both cats leaped up into the hammock of a climber and they began washing each other’s fur. I smiled.
It occurred to me that I was happy. I mean yeah, the vocal cord thing was a bitch, but I was sure it was nothing. A temporary hitch. I had a cup of great java, a chocolate fudge donut, a wonderful man who would spend the evening with me, a huge concert on the horizon, and a room full of cats.
Linda Bellingham will never have any of those again.
The thought still hurt, but it didn’t suck me down in a dark hole like it would’ve two months ago. I desperately wished I’d done something different, anything different. But no one won by having me jump into a grave alongside her. If I kept living, and working, and singing, I could help these cats. I could send her kids more money, maybe. I could make Lee feel good. Help his mom, Harvey, Owen.
I finished my snack, colored the cartoon me’s shirt pink, and passed the finished product over to be displayed before making my way home.
