“Tell me the good stuff,” Lee requested as the server brought food. “Tell me all the reasons it was worth leaving.”
So over egg rolls and rice and an array of crunchy and saucy vegetables and chicken, I did. I told him about travelling to Pariswith HeartTrap, climbing the Eifel Tower and watching the sun set on buildings a thousand years old. About performing with Pete Lebraun and Chaser Lost, the audience rocking out till I thought the roof would come off the stadium, and the pride of knowing I’d found and mentored a rising star. Or the time I was writing a new song while we rode a train winding its way up into the Rockies past clear turquoise lakes and snow-capped mountains. I wanted Lee to understand how everything I saw and felt in those days leaped into my brain and twined itself into melodies and lyrics.
“We were in London at this pub, and one of my songs started playing over the sound system and it was just surreal. Some of the patrons began singing along. I almost jumped up and said, ‘That’s mine!’ but even more, I wanted to just sit and watch people bob their heads and mouth my words and smile.”
Lee tried to pour more tea but the pot was empty.
I realized my voice was hoarse and I’d been talking for a while. “Sorry, I kind of monopolized things.”
“No, it was good. That was what I wanted. When you first left, I wanted you to come crawling back, like all you found was failure and misery. But once I got over that, I wanted your life to be awesome. Worth me giving you up for.”
“There were awesome times and I made a lot of good music, put out some albums I’m proud of.” I leaned his way and lowered my voice. “We won’t talk aboutDay Trip.”
“I thought that album did well?”
“It sold okay but honestly, it stunk. AfterKing’s Roadraced up the charts, the label wanted another album out fast. I told them I didn’t have the material, but there was a clause in my contract…Anyhow, half the songs onDay Tripwere from my discard pile. They don’t all suck, but the ratio isn’t good.”
“King’s Roadthough,” Lee said. “I couldn’t go anywhere without hearing the title track. Says something that I still like that song.”
“That’s an awesome compliment, thank you.”
Something hung between us, a moment of connection. Our eyes met. Lee’s smile slowly faded. Then the server came to ask if we wanted more tea and the moment was broken. We turned her down, and I made sure I left her a good tip for monopolizing the table so long.
Outside the restaurant, night had fallen. The soft air of a Midwestern summer was a blessing on my skin. We headed back to the car side by side, not talking. Lines of a song wanted to come together in my head, something aboutsmoky whispers, hidden pain, a world made new, a loss and gain. I pushed the fragments aside for now. If they were meant to be, they’d reappear. For now, I had Lee beside me as relaxed as I’d ever seen him. His smile at me as he popped the car locks held no shadows.
I got in, buckled up, and laced my fingers together against the urge to touch him. I wanted to ask him to come home with me. That barren little rental would be a whole different place with Lee’s warmth in it. But I had no right to ask, and nothing I could promise. We were becoming friends again, and that was more than I’d dared hope for. If we ever went past friends, it would have to be Lee’s call.
He said, “See you tomorrow,” and “That was fun,” when he dropped me outside my building, but nothing more.
I stood on the sidewalk, my keys in hand, and watched the blue car disappear down the block. Might-have-beens lurked at the back of my mind, but for once, I thought about the future, and hoped.
Chapter 8
Lee
Reyna hurried my way, cheerful in her pink scrubs, as I came through the door from the parking lot at work. “Oh, good, Lee. I wanted to talk to you.”
I plastered a smile on my face because I had an idea what was coming. “Sure. What’s up?”
“I passed my NCLEX exam. I got my certificate!”
“Congratulations!” I managed to sound as cheerful as she deserved. She’d studied hard, despite having worked as a nurse for years back in the Philippines before coming here.
“Thanks. But.” Her grin faded. “I do need to put in my two-week notice.”
“I figured.” That was the revolving door of nursing home aides, especially the better ones. Foreign nurses came here and had to take jobs as aides while getting their ESL and nursing credentials completed. Then they were off to jobs that actually paid worth a damn and used their skills. “I do have an opening for an RN if you’re interested.” I always had openings.
“Sorry, Lee, but I already took a different job. Better pay. You understand.”
“Yeah, sure. Totally get it.” She had two small kids back overseas with her mother whom she was hoping to bring to America. “Congrats again. I knew you’d pass.”
She sighed. “I do feel bad leaving.”
“No. Seriously. You’re going to be doing awesome work and saving lives wherever you end up. But.” I raised a finger. “If they treat you like crap and don’t appreciate you, think again. My offer’s always open.”
“Thanks. You’re the best.” She hurried off toward the patient rooms, light on her feet.
I trudged to my office. I’d need to mark down Reyna’s end date and let the bosses know we really,reallyneeded to search for more aides. And, like, maybe pay our staff what they were worth so they might choose to stay. And I’d have to go through the staff calendar and figure out how the hell I was going to cover Reyna’s shifts when she was gone.
