Right. Don’t listen to what I want.But I caught sight of his face and he looked hurt, not oblivious. I trailed along behind, burying my face in Mimsy’s fur until she wriggled out of my hold and slipped to the floor, trotting off with her tail in the air.
Theo talked about how the downstairs could be divided and discussed kennel dimensions for the back area where he planned to put the dog runs. He had the info we’d found online, and Arthur had suggestions as well. I looked around the now-well-lit echoing back room. The space seemed big, standing empty, but I bet dog runs would fill it pretty quickly. I imagined a dozen dogs jumping and barking, a few other shy ones standing back waiting. Imagined I was there to give them food and fresh water, to walk and train and groom them and make them look good so someone would want them.
I can do this job.I turned in a circle, seeing not the blank walls but a row of furry faces. Of all the jobs I’d won and lost and left over the years, this one called to me like no other. “I really don’t need to be paid.”
I realized I’d interrupted when Arthur broke off a sentence and they both turned my way. “Sorry, just, I want this to work out.”So much.
“Thank you. So do I.” Arthur smiled at me, and his expression felt warm as sunshine on my skin, like I was really helping him. “I’m so grateful to both of you. So glad Shane was there when Foxy arrived. All of this…” He waved at the room around us. “It’s a lot. I’d be in a total panic if we weren’t doing it together.”
“I’m glad, too,” Theo murmured. For the first time I could remember, he’d been walking around the building without hunched shoulders and a drawn expression. I wanted this shelter to happen for the lost critters of Gaynor Beach, but it made me feel fucking good to see the pain fading out of Theo as we turned his unwanted legacy into a place for hope.
Arthur headed off on his own a bit later, so Mimsy and I rode back to Theo’s in his Tesla. After a couple of silent blocks, Theo sighed deeply. “Are we going to keep fighting about money?”
“I didn’t know we were fighting,” I said, being stubborn because I knew exactly what he meant. I kicked the shopping bag at my feet that held the food Theo’d tidied away at the wine place for me. He hadn’t pitched the open crackers and half-eaten peanut butter, just bagged them up. At least he understood me that much.
Theo stared out the windshield, his mouth turned down. “I thought we were all set. That you were happy.”
“Iamhappy. Happiest I’ve been in all my life, probably. But I can’t just live off you all the time. Even if you love someone, you can’t totally sponge off them.” An instant later, I realized what I’d admitted, but maybe he wouldn’t notice.
“Like I did with Rob, you mean?” Theo’d fixated on a different part of my words.
“No! I’m not seventeen, for one thing. I can take care of myself. And…” I hesitated, then just spoke my mind. “Even when you were in love with him, did you ever feel like his equal partner?”
I could see the muscles in Theo’s jaw bunch and jump like he was clenching his teeth. Finally, he said, “No. Not really.”
“Sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry for being right. So, what do we do?”
“Once Foxy and the puppies can move, I’ll take them to the wine place and move in. Work for Arthur. Stand on my own two feet. And then, I want to date you. Like, properly. I’ve never really done that with anyone.”
“We’ve had dates. The bookstore.”
“Yeah. But next, I want to take you somewhere. Somewhere you’ll love, not, like, books for me.”
“I’m a huge fan of books too.”
“Sure, but… where would you go on your ideal date?” I crossed my fingers, not sure if I was hoping he wouldn’t pick somewhere expensive, or that he would because that’d show he wasn’t going cheap just for me. Except I couldn’t afford expensive, so cheap would be better. Crap, dating got complicated.
Theo gazed forward as he drove. After a moment, he said, “The lighthouse.”
“The what?”
“There’s a lighthouse across the bay, out on Willis Point.”
“Oh, yeah, we saw that from the beach.”
“When I was a little kid I really wanted to climb to the top and see the view. And later, I thought how free it would feel to stand up there, surrounded by water and sky. But of course, Grand-mère said sightseeing was a waste of my time, and then I left. I never got to go up there.”
“You still want to?”
“Yeah, I do. I want to rediscover all the good things about this town. I’d love to go up the lighthouse with you.”
“Can people even do that?”
“Tourists sometimes did when I was a kid. I can look online?—”
“I’ll check it out,” I said firmly. This was my invitation, and I’d do the legwork. Even if it meant using Theo’s computer and Theo’s internet. I could go to the library, of course, for the sake of real independence, but fuck it, I wouldn’t be that obsessive. “I’ll let you know what we’re going to do.”
