The door whipped open, and he crunched up to sitting, fumbling for the pepper spray Nolan had given him as a non-lethal defense option. He pointed the nozzle waveringly at the intruder.
Except that was Nolan peering in.
“What are you doing here?” Fynn demanded, his voice rasping. He dropped the spray and clenched his fingers together.
“Are you okay? You… shouted.”
I screamed like a frightened rabbit.“There was a noise.”
“Something fell off your shelf in the living room. Are you sure you’re all right?” Before Fynn could ask him not to, Nolan turned on the light.
Fynn blinked at him. He wanted to cover his face but by now it was too late. Nolan was observant, and he’d have noticed the damp on Fynn’s cheeks, the red of his eyes, the soaked flatness of his hair. Fynn jerked his chin up and stared back.
Instead of going out, Nolan slipped into the room, closing the door behind him.
“Isn’t Sheridan’s working tonight?” Fynn asked. Nolan had put the duty schedule on the refrigerator, because Fynn liked to know what was happening in his life, and he’d checked at bedtime.To know who’s out there pretending they don’t hear me freaking out.
“I had a job for Sheridan, so I switched with him.”
“You were on most of the day.”Nolan worked long hours and should now be home, fast asleep. Not shining an interrogation lamp in Fynn’s face.
Nolan leaned his shoulders against the door and sighed. “You want to know something stupid?”
About you? Anything.“Sure.”
“I relax better on your terrible couch than in my own room these days.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. If I’m here, I know everything’s fine.”
“Sheridan would tell you if it wasn’t.”
“Yeah, he would. So would the others, and I trust them, but something in me unwinds when I can see for myself.”
Fynn wanted to feel flattered, but maybe that was just how Nolan worked. “Sounds like a good way to end up with an ulcer.”
Nolan laughed. “Tell me about it.”
A wonderful, terrible thought occurred to Fynn. “This bed’s big, more comfortable, and if you’re in the same room, then you’d really know I was safe.”
“That breaks a bunch of my rules.”
“Just to rest.” He bit his lip and admitted, “It would help me too. Nights are always tough.”
“They are?” Nolan turned off the overhead light, pushed away from the door, and came closer. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Micah would tell me to see a shrink again, but the last one I saw tried three different meds for attention deficit, each of which made me moody all the time and upset my stomach. Eventually she said maybe I could do without meds. She told me I could learn to work around my issues. I asked how I was supposed to ‘work around’ bullies at school, and she said they were unimportant in the long run. I wanted to survive togetto the long run.” Fynn’s stomach burned, remembering her. To be fair, he’d been confrontational and uncooperative, but that’d been her job, right? To help kids who didn’t think they needed to be helped?
“How long ago was that?”
“It’s been years. I don’t need a psychiatrist, I need some sleep.” To his dismay, tears began to track down his cheeks again, echoes of his nightmare rising to tug at him. Having Nolan take a step toward him, hand reaching out, let Fynn tell the truth. “I want to not be afraid to close my eyes.”
“Oh.” Nolan’s single syllable sounded like he’d taken a punch. He came over and sat on the edge of the bed. For a moment, he hovered his hand in the air, then his touch settled, warm and welcome, against Fynn’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Fynn rubbed at his eyes angrily. “It’s not your fault, all right? It’s some sucky bastard who wants to extort my money. I’m just frustrated.”And tired. So tired.
“Lie down,” Nolan told him. “I’m here.”
