“Tanner, I wanna talk to you about that man that called you, but right now,” I explain, trying to speak around the way my pulse is suddenly tachy and the back of my neck is coated in a sheen of sweat. “I was hoping to talk to you three, about the future.”
Rawley fixes his man bun. “You wanna marry mom?”
Archie whoops, but both Tanner and Rawley silence him by pressing their fingers to his lips. “Shh, this is a secret,” Tanner says.
“Yeah,” Rawley adds, “this is something you can’t tell mom, okay?”
Archie nods, then turns to me and gives a wobbly salute. “I won’t say nothin’ to no one.”
I face the older boys. “I do want to ask your mom to marry me, but I wanted to talk to you three about it, and see how you feel. And I want you to know it’s okay to tell mehow you really feel. Your honesty is what I’m here for, guys.”
Tanner and Rawley exchange a look, and Tanner speaks first, but not to me—to his brother. “Tell Jake you need another few hours in the saddlery, because you owe me fifty bucks, sucker.” He folds his arms over his chest, and gloats.
Rawley laughs, and digs out his cell phone, opening up the calendar. “Shit, dude, you’re right.”
I arch a brow as Archie drinks a single use cup of half and half from the bowl full.
“I said you’d ask her to marry you and have this talk with us in less than five months, and Rawley thought it would take you at least six months to work up the courage.” He looks at his brother. “Coach has bigger balls than you gave him credit for. I told you.”
Rawley shakes his head. “I’ll pay you but at this rate you won’t get your money for ten years.”
“I charge interest,” Tanner says matter of factly.
Rawley looks my way with a smirk. “Of course we don’t have any objections. You’re a cool guy. We like you because you make her so happy and treat her so well. It’s crazy, you’re like, a million times nicer to her and us than he ever was.”
He doesn’t name Troy, but I know who he’s talking about, and so does Tanner.
“We’re not just good with it, Coach. We’re happy.” He blinks his eyes rapidly and dramatically. “Can I call you my daddy?”
The three of us erupt in laughter as Archie moves to the third mini cup of creamer. I slide the bowl away. “Alright. Let’s wait for our food so we don’t fill up on…half and half.”
I look back to the older two. “I want to make sure you’re okay with me marrying your mom, living in your house?—”
“You already do, and you both already asked us if thatwas fine. That’s practically marriage to us anyway,” Tanner says. I can see why it feels like that to him.
“I was hoping all of us could go to my parents house this weekend, and I can introduce you to them and… we can get to know each other.” I shrug my shoulders. “If you guys want.”
“Makes sense,” Tanner says. “It’s cool with us.”
Rawley nods in agreement, then asks, “Can I bring Jo Jo?”
I shrug. “Fine with me.”
He smirks. “I thought you’d say ‘ask your mom’ cause you know, that’s what most dads say.”
The way he easily qualifies me as a father figure in casual conversation has my ribs feeling snug in my chest. I laugh, trying to dispel the sudden emotional cramp in my brain. “You can bring her, my folks would love to meet everyone. I just need to work a time out with your mama, that’s all.”
Clara June brings our food shortly, and once the older boys are eating, I make sure to snag a few minutes with Archie to make sure he understands what I’m saying. I should have given him more credit though, because when I approach him to make sure he knows what me marrying Clara June means, he rolls his eyes.
“I know, Dean. It means you’ll put a ring on mama’s finger, and you’ll be my step-daddy. I know cause Ralphie at school has a step-daddy.”
I nod my head. “Are you okay with me being your step-daddy? Living with you for good?”
He bobs his head as he fidgets to align his straw with his mouth, sucking down an impressive amount of Sprite. “I wish you were my real daddy.”
I look up to see if Tanner and Rawley caught that, and I find them, thankfully, preoccupied with something on Rawley’s cell phone. I don’t know exactly how to respond toArchie without bawling like a baby, so I ruffle his hair, and tuck his napkin into his shirt and say, “I can’t wait to make memories with you, Arch. We’re gonna have lots of fun together.”
While we finish our meals, I swear them to secrecy, then we say goodbye to Clara June and I drive the boys back to the house. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve been home, so I tell them I’m heading back to check my mail, make sure the sprinkler timers are still working, and in general, just check up on the place. I tell them I’ll be back in an hour or two.
