“We’re going to have to stop right here,” a man wearing green scrubs and white coat says to us. I look at the navy embroidery on his jacket. Dr. Denton. He looks between the two of us. “Parents?” he asks, wagging the end of his pen between us.
Clara June’s hand falls over her chest. “Mom, I’m mom.What’s the first thing you’re going to do? How long before we know anything?”
“Well,” Dr. Denton says, flipping through the notes passed to him by the paramedic. “From what I hear, your son took a pretty good hit, but Jonathan—” he glances at the paramedic signing papers at a nurse’s station. “He tells me that his GCS score indicates a mild concussion and his pupillary reflexes are good, so those are promising indicators. As soon as we get him X-rays and a CT and know for certain that his cervical spine is okay, then we’ll move on to a more in-depth physical and neurological exam. Probably no need for an MRI, but we'll know more after the CT and exam.”
I watch Clara June, intently listening, worry appearing on her face more intensely now, her brows drawn together as she nods along.I’mworried about Tanner—I can only imagine how she must be feeling.
A nurse calls for Dr. Denton, and he starts pacing backward. “We’ll update you as soon as we can, Mrs. Colt.”
The double doors swoosh, and Tanner, along with the commotion, is gone.
My cell buzzes, and I see it’s Jake calling. I glance at Clara June, knowing full well that her older boy dates Jake’s daughter, and I wonder where her other sons are.
“Hello?” I answer, as Clara June digs around in her purse, finding her own phone. I listen to Jake, but watch Clara June read through messages.
“How’s he doing?” Jake asks, concern making his tone a bit quieter than usual. “Rawley’s here, told him he can stay the night if he needs. Is Clara June with you?”
“She’s here, yeah,” I reply, still watching her as she swipes at tears without acknowledging them, her hands flying over her digital keyboard. “I’ll tell her.”
There’s a moment of quiet on the line, and my friend asks, “He was out over a minute… is he okay?”
“He was alert and talking, they just took him back for some scans,” I reply, telling him everything I know, keeping my concerns muzzled. Clara June doesn’t need to hear them, because whatever I know could be possible, she knows it too, and she’s thought of the worst and then some. Right now, she needs to know that whatever does happen, it will be okay, even if it’s not the best case scenario that unfolds. “When I know something, I’ll call ya, alright?”
Jake grunts. “Alright then. Just… give us a call over here.”
“Will do.” I end my call just as she slips her phone back into her bag, and looks up at me. Her blue eyes are crisp and vibrant despite the fog of tears and red veins.
“How about we get a cup of coffee in the cafeteria?” I offer, nodding toward the bottom of the sign hanging from the ceiling. ER ROOMS 1A-19A, JANITORIAL, CAFETERIA. She glances back up at me and nods, eyes still wet.
My first inclination is to wrap my arm around her shoulders, to pull her into me and hold her close as I guide her to the cafeteria and find her a place to sit.
I only just met her a few weeks ago, and she’s Tanner’s mom. I don’t know why holding her right now, bringing her coffee, holding her hand and making sure she feels safe feels so imperative. It’s cruel, in a way, because I know that’s not my role. Still. I watch her walk next to me as we make our way into the cafeteria, stopping at the automatic coffee machines in silence until our large cups fill. I hand the sleepy woman at the register a few bills, and guide Clara June to a small table in the back.
The space is almost empty, save for two OR nurses sitting at a table eating chicken tenders out of a styrofoam clamshell, both of them watching something on a shared iPhone screen.
Clara June sits and rubs her forehead with the tips of her fingers, letting out a heavy, low sigh. I take a seat and take my hat off my head, placing it in the empty chair next to me. I run a hand through my sweaty, chaotic hair, wishing the first time that Clara June and I were alone together were under any other circumstances than these.
“That was Jake Turner on the phone, and I don’t know if in the commotion of it all you spoke with your older son but he’s at the Turner’s,” I tell her softly, our untouched cups of steaming coffee sitting between us.
“Yeah, um, he texted me.” She takes her coffee, so I take mine too, and when she takes a drink, so do I. “Thank goodness for friends,” she says, trying to put on a smile, one she can’t manage. “Dolly took Archie for me, too.”
“Good,” I say, “that’s good.”
Her eyes hold mine, the contact anchoring and steadying. Finally, she takes another drink of coffee. “Thank you for being so calm throughout all this. For saying what you did in the ambulance, you know, for calming Tanner down.”
I lift a shoulder and drop it. “I meant it. I think he’s gonna be just fine.”
She nods her head. “Yeah?” Her eyes sweep mine, searching hungrily for reassurance. And the urge to drop my arm over her shoulders hits again, so I sip my coffee and take in her shining eyes.
“Yeah, I do.” I mean that, because I wouldn’t lie.
She nods some more, then leans back, reaching for the mess of long dark hair from behind her back. She gathers most of it, leaving a few strands out here and there as she drags it over her shoulder and quickly braids it, wrapping the end with a small pink hair tie. She gently slaps her cheeks and takes a deep breath, then has another long drink of her coffee.
I just sit there and watch her. Transfixed by her calm turmoil, mesmerized by strength and beauty. My chest gets tight just looking at Clara June, and it’s a feeling I can’t explain, nor one I’ve ever felt.
I clear my throat and search for words so I’m not caught staring at this woman in a way I got no business doing. “You know...” I start, but she cuts me off, her mouth catching up to her mind.
“Will… the scouts won’t lose interest? I mean, I don’t know how this stuff works,” she says, stroking her finger down the side of the coffee cup along the seam. “But they won’t, you know, withdraw their interest because of an injury this season, will they?”
