“Are you both okay?” I ask, my entire body now fully trembling.
Rawley nods, and so does Tanner. “Yeah, Mom, we’re okay. We just wanted to tell you and we didn’t want you to get upset because…it’s handled.”
I drop my face to my hands. “This is my fault. He was calling. I should’ve gotten a restraining order, I just, I don’t know. I didn’t think he’d come back.”
“Hey, no one in this house did a damn thing wrong,” Dean’s voice feathers over me, and I look up with damp eyes to see him eating up the hallway, one hand braced on the wall, a knot of purples and pinks above his right eye, his cowboy hat gone. He nods to the boys. “You guys should get some sleep. It’s been a long one.”
I stand from the couch and hug them both for so long that Tanner says, “Okay, Mom.”
Rawley bumps knuckles with Dean as he passes by, and Tanner gives him a hug. Then I’m sobbing into my hands as Dean carries me down the hall, and sets me on the edge of my bed. He drops to a knee in front of me, forcing my hands away so that he can collect my face in his large, safe, palms.
“Shh, c’mon now, mama, don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry, please, don’t cry,” he says softly, soothingly, his gentle tone looping around my spine like silk, easing my frayed nerves.
I sniffle and wipe under my nose, then look at him. He’s on one knee, but still, I have to look up slightly, because he’s such a big man. “Your face, oh my god, and oh Dean, thank you. Thank you, Dean. Oh my god. If you hadn’t come back,if you wouldn’t have—I’m so sorry,” I say, rerouting my thanks to apologies. Today was clearly traumatic, and just because Dean is an adult doesn’t mean it wasn’t traumatic for him, too. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve known better, I should’ve–”
“You couldn’t have done anything, Clara June, you hear me? You can’t get a restraining order on someone after a few phone calls. And he’s never given you any reason to think he’d pull a stunt like this. You could not anticipate that he’d try to kidnap one of the boys and be violent. Listen to me, baby, alright? This was one of the situations that no one could predict, and right now, what the five of us need to do is be grateful that it worked in our favor. Okay?” He kisses the tip of my nose, and each cheek, before nipping my lips.
“Take a deep breath.” He nods. “C’mon, deep breath.”
I nod my head and take a few deep breaths. “Troy’s in jail.”
“And going to prison,” Dean adds. “Archie’s in bed, but if you head in there real quick, you may be able to catch him before he dozes.” His eyes hold mine for a moment, and I know something serious is coming. “Troy pushed Archie into the table, but the kid is tough. Doesn’t even have a mark. Still, right here,” he says, motioning past his own bruises to indicate where Archie fell.
I can’t help but reach out and touch his eye, gently. “I’m so sorry, Dean.”
He smiles. “Everything is going to be okay. More than okay. Silver lining: we have no one to worry about anymore, alright?”
I nod.
“I’ll start a nice hot shower for us, alright? Come join me after you give Archie a kiss.” He helps me to my feet, and unties the apron at my back, tossing it into thehamper. Then he kneads my shoulders a few times before kissing my cheek, and I find myself in the hall, headed toward Archie’s room.
I push the door open and hear his soft snore. At his bed, I kneel down and push hair from his forehead. Dean’s right. There’s no mark, but I kiss the spot anyway, and kiss his cheeks, temple, and hands. And even though we’ve already said goodnight, I go to Rawley’s room and tell him how proud I am of him for standing up for his brothers today, how good he did, and I hug him, too. The same goes for Tanner, and by the time I make it back to my room, all the hugs and kisses I have left are for Dean.
I don’t bother with my clothes, I pull open the shower door and step inside, sink my fingers into the sides of his hair and tug his face down to mine. My tongue parts his lips as it slips inside, writhing against his as we find ourselves moaning and clawing at one another.
“I should’ve told you this before, but I love you Dean. I love you so much and I’m so grateful for you, and your big heart, and your patience. Everything, Dean, I appreciate and love everything about you. You’re a good man, and we’re so lucky to have you.”
His lips crash down on mine and the rest of the shower is spent washing one another—after undressing me—while listening to Dean tell me he loves me. He kisses my neck as he washes my shoulders, whispering, “I love you, too, Clara June.” While kneading soap into my scalp, he nibbles my earlobe, and tells me he loves me. And kneeling at my feet, washing my legs, he looks up, blinking through the water, and tells me how beautiful I am, and how lucky he is to be with me.
We get out, and he lays me on the bed, covering every inch of my flesh with his mouth. He crawls between my legs, whispers for me to stay quiet, and eats me to orgasm three times.
The first one comes quickly, my toes are curling and I’m cupping my hand to my mouth in less than a minute. The second takes only a minute longer, as he licks my clit and slides three thick fingers in and out of me. I’m so quiet that all I can hear is my arousal, and his tongue and fingers working on me. It’s so hot, but also… tonight feels different. It feels like this is what we’ll be like forever. Sneaking in hot sex sessions while the boys sleep, tenderly and erotically taking each other apart and putting one another back together in the privacy of this little room.
The third orgasm comes faster than the first, because it comes with a promise. Dean rolls me onto my shoulders, and places his cock over my pussy, sliding it through my lips, nudging my clit. “After this one, I’m going to make love to you, Clara June. I’m going to slowly fuck you, make you feel good, talk you through the pain, kiss you everywhere, and fuck you so good that you can’t think straight. I’m going to give you everything I have, and we’re gonna make a baby together.”
He tugs back his foreskin and jerks his hips back, driving his cock through my folds, head first. He’s slippery and rock hard, precum beading at the head, his balls heavy against my bare ass. “I’m gonna fuck you, mama, every night. I’m gonna fuck you until you’re pregnant with my baby, until you have a belly full of me,” he says as I come, my pussy spasming from the friction on my clit, from his mouth, from everything he makes me feel.
He lowers me to the mattress, and climbs over me, missionary, eye to eye. “I love you, and if you need a break, you tell me, okay?”
I nod, but I know no matter what, I’m going to take all of him. I need him. If it comes with pain, then I will learn to love, adore and cherish pain. Because I would do anything forhim, the way he does anything for us. “Please, I just… I need you, Dean,” I tell him plainly, though tears still leak from my eyes. “I need you to fuck me now, I can’t wait any longer.”
He nips at my lips, then sucks on my nipple for a moment, before finding my mouth again. “Can I put my baby inside you tonight, Clara June? I wanna fuck you, baby, I love you so much. I wanna fuck you and unload in you and watch you grow, watch you give us more life, more love. Can you do that for me, mama? Can you let me fuck you real good, then give me a baby? Hmm?”
Drunkenly, obsessively, in an utter Dean haze, I nod my head. “Yes, yes, Dean, please,” I beg, and I’m not simply agreeing in the heat of the moment. I’ve always wanted a big family, and I have had ample time to think about this—about having more kids with Dean. We love each other, and he’s shown me that before he ever said the words. I’m ready to build a life with him, in our way, in a different order than everyone else. “I love you, yes, please, give me your baby, fuck me, because I’ll evaporate if you don’t.”
The first few inches hurt the most, and he tells me how good I’m doing. Then pain sets in. I feel like I’m tearing, though Dean assures me that I’m not. Every few strokes, he tips his head down, looking between our naked bodies to confirm that I am intact, not broken, not torn, and definitely not bleeding. When he sinks the last few inches inside, I can hardly speak. I'm so full, my hips burning, my stomach full of pressure.
He talks me through it as he continues to slowly stroke in and out of me, praising me as he presses kisses to my breasts, throat, neck, chin, lips and forehead.
