"They'll be back," Darren insists, but I can hear the doubt creeping into his voice. "They're just being... weird."
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. The truth is, I understand their reaction better than Darren does. I've been on the receiving end of it too many times not to recognize the signs. They're closing ranks, protecting their pack and their omega from an outsider. From me.
And really, can I blame them? They've just discovered their packmate is an omega. Their whole dynamic has been turned upside down. The last thing they need is some random beta woman complicating things further.
The silence grows heavier with each passing second. I fiddle with my napkin, folding and unfolding the corner until the crisp linen is hopelessly creased. My throat feels tight, eyes burning with the threat of tears I refuse to shed. Not here. Not in this beautiful room with its spectacular view and its judgmental waitstaff.
"Lexie," Darren says, reaching across the table for my hand. His palm is warm against mine, calloused from hockey sticks and weights and countless hours of practice. He's a man who's used to working at it until he gets what he wants. "Please don't give up on this yet."
I look at our joined hands, at how his completely engulfs mine. He's so solid, so present. Everything about him radiates strength and certainty. It's hard to reconcile this man with thetraditional image of an omega. Soft, yielding, nurturing. But then, that's part of what drew me to him in the first place. He defies expectations. Breaks molds.
Just like I've tried to do my whole life.
And if it was just him, it would be a no-brainer.
But it's not. It never is, really. And if there's one thing I've learned through all this, it's that I'm never going to be enough for anyone on my own.
"I'm not giving up," I say, but the words ring hollow even to my own ears. "I just think we need to be realistic about what's happening here."
"And what is that, exactly?" There's an edge of concern to his voice now.
I pull my hand back, needing the distance to think clearly. "Your pack is struggling with your presentation. That's obvious. They're protective, confused, trying to figure out where they fit in this new reality." I take a breath, steadying myself. "Adding me to the mix right now is just making things more complicated."
Darren looks like he wants to argue, and he starts to, but he can't. He's starting to accept the reality that should have been clear to me from the beginning. I don't fit into the picture at all.
This isn't how tonight was supposed to go. I'd imagined conversation flowing easily, laughter, maybe a little awkwardness at first but nothing like this. I'd imagined getting to know these men who are so important to Darren, seeing if there might be a place for me among them.
Instead, I got four alphas who couldn't get away from me fast enough.
"I think I should go," I say finally, the words catching in my throat.
Darren's head snaps up, alarm flashing in his blue eyes. "What? No, Lexie, please. They'll be back any minute."
"Will they?" I challenge, unable to keep the hurt from my voice. "Because it seems like they'd rather be anywhere but here right now."
"That's not true," he insists, but there's a flicker of doubt in his expression. "They're just... I don't know what they are right now. But I do know they promised to be here, to give this a chance."
"Actions speak louder than words, Darren." I reach for my purse, decision made. "And their actions are pretty clear."
He stands abruptly, the movement so sudden it startles me. "Don't go. Please." His voice drops lower, almost pleading. "I'll go find them right now. Drag them back if I have to. We can all figure this out."
For a moment, I'm tempted. The raw emotion in his voice, the sincerity in his eyes... it would be so easy to give in, to stay and see this through. But then I think about sitting here alone again while he hunts down his reluctant packmates, about the awkward forced conversation that would follow, about the sidelong glances that would inevitably persist.
I think about Mark and Tyler and Daniel and Chris. About history repeating itself in increasingly painful ways.
I did a lot in the interest of keeping those connections alive. Made compromises, sacrifices, eroded my own boundaries to make them happy. The one thing I never did was force my presence on anyone, and I'm not about to start now.
No matter how tempting Darren makes it.
"I think you need to talk to your pack," I say, standing as well. "Figure out what's really going on with them. You all clearly have some things to work through."
"Lexie—"
"It's okay," I cut him off, forcing a smile that feels brittle on my face. "I understand. Really, I do. This is a lot, for all of you."
"ButIwant you here," he says, and the simple honesty in those words nearly breaks my resolve. "I want to see where this could go."
I swallow hard against the lump forming in my throat. "I want that too. But not like this. Not with your pack so clearly uncomfortable with the whole idea."
