"One or two of you," I say, the words coming easier now that I've started. "To start. To see how…"
Words fail me again. Fuck, it's already hard to think about anything more than how intense these feelings are. The need, the heat, the hunger.
"How you feel about it," Zayn finishes, nodding. "Makes sense. Baby steps."
"We've actually talked about this," Jax admits, and my head snaps up to stare at him. "When it became clear your suppressants wouldn't last forever. We wanted to be prepared, to handle it however you needed."
"You talked about my heat? Without me?" I'm not sure if I'm offended or touched.
"We talked about how to support you," Dmitri corrects. "How to make sure you and Lexie were safe and comfortable. What we would do if you wanted all of us, none of us, or anything in between."
"And?" I prompt, curious despite myself. "What did you all come to?"
"And we agreed that whatever you decided, we'd respect it," Jax says firmly. "No hurt feelings, no pressure. This is about what you need, not what we want."
The knot of anxiety in my chest loosens slightly. They're not going to fight over me like I'm some prize to be won. They're not going to push or make demands. They're just... here. Ready to help however I need them to.
"Okay," I say, taking a deep breath. "Okay." I pause, really thinking about it. Who feels right in this moment? "Aidan and Jax. To start."
Disappointment flicks across Zayn's face, but he masks it immediately, and nods. "Good choices. The puppy's gentle and Jax knows how to take charge when needed."
"Who're you calling a puppy?" Aidan grumbles.
"Okay,murderpuppy," Zayn offers, earning a fierce glare from Aidan and a chuckle from Dmitri.
"We'll be right outside if you need anything," Dmitri adds, and I can hear what it costs him to say it. To step back when every instinct must be screaming at him to do the exact opposite.
"Thank you," I say, meaning it more than they probably realize. "For understanding. For not making this harder than it already is."
"We're pack," Jax says simply. "We take care of each other."
The words settle the lingering anxiety in me, some last bit of resistance I've been holding onto. Maybe I've been building walls for nothing. Maybe my pack has always been ready to support me exactly as I am, omega biology and all. I just had to let them.
"We should go back up," Lexie says gently. "Before the heat gets worse."
Before I lose what little control I have left. Before I start begging for things I'm not sure I'm ready for.
"Yeah," I agree, standing on legs that feel like jelly. "Let's go."
The trip back upstairs is both too long and too short. Aidan and Jax follow at a respectful distance, but I can feel their presence like a touch. The nest looks even more inviting now, with its perfectly arranged soft blankets and familiar scents, and I practically dive into it, pulling Lexie with me.
"How do you want to do this?" Jax asks from the doorway, and fuck, the control in his voice makes me shiver.
"I don't know," I admit, already starting to pant as another wave of heat rolls through me. "I don't know how this works."
"There's no script," Aidan says, moving closer but still maintaining distance. "We follow your lead."
My lead. Right. Except I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. All I know is that my skin is on fire and Lexie smells like home and the two alphas in the room are making my mouth water in ways I don't fully understand.
"Just be here," I manage. "Watch, maybe? Until I figure out what I need?"
They exchange a look I can't interpret, then move to settle in chairs near the bed. Close enough to respond if needed, far enough to give us space. It should be awkward, having an audience like this, but somehow it just feels right. Safe. Like all the pieces are finally where they belong.
I turn to Lexie, who's watching me with those warm brown eyes full of understanding. "Hi," I say stupidly.
"Hi yourself," she replies, smiling. "You okay?"
"Getting there," I admit, then lean in to kiss her because I need to be grounded.
