“Sure it is.” She reeled in her line and set the rod aside, giving me her full attention. “You think I’m some naive city girl who doesn’t know what she wants. I have one passion in my life,Nate. I love teaching. I’m good at it. I just... I’ve never been bold about anything else in my life.”
“And you think being with me will make you bold and brave?”
“Yes, I do.”
The certainty in her voice almost undid me. “I could break you, Ellie. Easily.”
“But you won’t,” she said with quiet confidence that hit me like a physical blow.
“How do you know?”
“I’m good at reading character. I can do it with five year olds or someone older.” A small smile played at the corners of her mouth. “There’s a fundamental something in everyone that’s easy to see if you look close enough.”
Damn. She saw right through me, past all the walls and defenses to something I wasn’t even sure existed anymore. She saw the man I used to be, the man I wanted to be again.
It terrified me.
Because if she was right about me—if I could be that man again—then I had no excuse to walk away.
“You don’t understand,” I said, running a hand through my hair. “I’m not... I’m not the same person I used to be. I was in the military. I got injured and it changed me. Made me harder. Colder. The last woman who tried to love me couldn’t handle it.”
She didn’t ask questions about the past I was giving to her in bits and pieces. She just said, “I’m not her.”
“No, you’re not.” I looked at her—really looked at her—standing there in the middle of the stream with her chin lifted and her eyes steady on mine. “You’re braver than she ever was. That’s what scares me.”
Thunder rumbled overhead, and I glanced up to see dark clouds rolling in fast. I cursed myself for not noticing earlier. Mountain weather could turn in minutes, and this looked like it was going to be a big one.
“We need to get out of the water.” I gathered up most of the gear and motioned for her to get the rest.
“But—”
“Now, Ellie. That’s not a request.”
She must have heard something in my tone because she didn’t argue, just followed me as I led her over the shoreline and up to the rocks along the side of the river. There was a small overhang that I’d used before when the weather turned suddenly. It would provide enough shelter for the two of us. We made it just as the first fat raindrops started to fall.
The overhang wasn’t big—barely enough room for both of us to sit side by side with our backs against the stone. The rain came down in sheets, hitting the river hard and fast.
“Guess lunch is happening here,” Ellie said, pulling her backpack onto her lap.
She’d packed sandwiches, fruit, and two bottles of water. Simple food that tasted like the best meal I’d had in months, maybe because she’d thought enough about me to bring it. Maybe because we were sharing it in a space so small I could feel the heat radiating from her body.
Or maybe because I wanted to lean over and taste her mouth instead.
“Thank you for lunch.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Least I could do for, um, injuring you.”
“Hazard of the job.” I took another bite of the simple fare and felt a sense of peace roll over me that I hadn’t felt in forever. “Sharing lunches with the clients is another.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I’ve had enough charred hot dogs from tourists to be cautious.”
“Glad I raised the bar.” She popped a grape in her mouth and I tried to ignore the memory of how sweet she’d tasted.
We ate in silence, watching the rain continue to fall. Our shoulders brushed. Our arms. Soon, I was feeling those effects throughout my body. After putting everything away, she turned to face me, her knee brushing mine in the confined space. “Tell me about her. The woman who left.”
I should have deflected. Should have changed the subject. Should have done anything except look into those honest brown eyes and tell her the truth.
