"You shouldn't be here." My voice dropped lower to a warning growl. "You have no idea what you're walking into."
"I think I do." His stance widened slightly, a subtle but unmistakable refusal to be moved. "Someone tried to access my university account after I researched Lars Reeves. They jimmied my apartment door open while I was at work, and then I got a text from an unknown number telling me I should have listened to you when you told me to go away."
The words burrowed into my gut. "Jesus Christ, Alex."
Something ugly twisted inside me—rage mixed with fear. It must have shown on my face because Alex took half a step back.
"You're putting yourself in danger because of me." I wanted to grab him and shake him to make him understand that he needed to run as far from me as possible.
He countered my words. "I'm already in danger, whether I'm here or not."
His blue denim shirt beneath his jacket was soaked through and clung to his chest. Rain dripped steadily from his hair onto his shoulders. There was nothing fragile in the way he held himself. His academic bearing had been replaced by something harder—a determination that was a match for my stubbornness.
I couldn't decide whether I wanted to slam the door or pull him inside. The two instincts battled inside me. Protective fury clashed with a hunger I couldn't deny. Loneliness was dismantling me from the inside.
"You need to leave," I said without conviction in my voice. "Go back to your classroom and your books. Forget what happened in Tahiti. Forget you ever met me."
Alex didn't argue or step forward. He stood there, rain running down his face like rivers of tears.
"Do you want me to go?"
The simplicity of the question tore through all my defenses. His six brief words handed me all the power. He would walk away if I truly wanted him to.
I opened my mouth to say yes. My logical brain told me to say yes, but the word refused to leave my lips.
Instead, I stood paralyzed in the doorway. The silence between us was as taut as a tripwire.
No matter how often I'd told myself to stay away from him, I couldn't deny that in the days since Tahiti, my thoughts continued to circle back to Alex like a compass finding north. His voice echoed in my memory. His touch provided the few shreds of comfort I found in my dreams.
I watched a droplet of water run from his hair down over his right cheek. It slid along the curve of his jaw. Before I could stop myself, I reached out my hand to catch it.
Before they could get to his face, my fingers closed around the front of his jacket, the fabric cold and sodden beneath my grip. I didn't remember deciding to move, but suddenly I was pulling him inside with enough force to make him stumble across the threshold.
I kicked the door shut behind us, the slam echoing through my apartment like a gunshot. For a moment, we stood inches apart in the dim light of my living room, breathing hard.
Water dripped from his clothes onto my floor, forming a small puddle around his feet. Outside, the rain intensified, drumming against the windows with renewed fury.
I spoke again, but the whispered words were hollow. "You shouldn't be here."
I released his jacket and didn't know what to do with my hands. They hung uselessly at my sides, curling and uncurling.
I should have offered him a towel or dry clothes. I should have said something—anything—to break the tension crackling between us.
Instead, I reached up and brushed wet hair back from his forehead, my fingers trembling. His skin was cool from the rain but warmed rapidly beneath my touch. He tracked my hand like he wasn't sure whether to lean into the contact or pull away.
I let my hand drop, uncertain of where the boundaries stood between us.
Alex stepped closer, only half a step that somehow bridged our worlds. He was close enough for me to feel the heat coming off his skin, even through the chill of his wet clothes.
He'd torn down the final barrier I'd built to keep him at a distance. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him against me, crashing my mouth onto his with none of the gentleness I'd shown in Tahiti.
It wasn't a paradise kiss. It was desperate, angry, and charged with all the things I couldn't put into words. He responded immediately, his hands framing my face, fingers pressing into my skin.
I backed him against the wall, pinning him there with my body, kissing him like I was a drowning man who needed his breath for air. The cold dampness of his clothes soaked into mine.
His hands moved restlessly across my shoulders and down my back, urging me closer even though there was no space between us. I caught his lower lip between my teeth, just enough pressure to blur the line between pleasure and pain. The sound he made vibrated through my bones.
I whispered against his mouth. "We shouldn't."
