He’s quiet as we walk to the truck.
I’ve managed to confine my grief to one manageable corner. But I’m no longer in control when I kiss Dumplin’. And I’m desperately trying to keep it together.
He opens my door, and I look up at him. “I’m sorry about how I’ve been. I’m not upset with you. You know that, right?”
“I know.” He flashes a reassuring smile, but hurt swirls in his eyes. “It’s fine.”
It’s clearly not fine, but if I continue this conversation, I’ll dissolve into a complete mess. So I clench my jaw to keep the emotions shoved deep down and climb into the truck.
He’s uncharacteristically quiet as we drive to the main house. I want to believe we’ll get through this, but I’m not sure he wants the same. I feel like I’m dimming Parker’s light.
After parking outside the house, he clasps my hand. “If at any point you want to leave, just tell me.”
Instead of worrying about Parker on the drive, I should’ve been preparing for all the condolences. Keeping my seat belt buckled, I nod.
He squeezes my hand. “I let Ava know we were coming so she that could tell people not to bring it up.”
“Thank you.” Hesitantly, I slide my fingers out of his hand. “I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle all the comments, but I can’t hide forever.”
He comes around and opens my door. Then we walk into the mess hall, hand in hand. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to express in words how much I’ve appreciated his strength through all of this.
Ava smiles as we get to the counter. “Load up those plates. There’s plenty. And for dessert, I have a s’mores cake and lemon bars.” She cuts a glance at Mad Dog who is grinning. “Those are his favorite.”
I haven’t heard the story of how they met, but I know they’ve only been married a little over a year. And they’re so sweet together. Relationship goals.
* * *
Ava setsthe desserts on the table. “Ladies first, guys.”
Mason, who is reaching for the s’mores cake, freezes a second, then slides the cake platter toward Poppy. “Here, Mom. Have some cake.”
The rest of the table bursts out laughing, me included. This boy has a way of spreading joy. And I need this laughter.
Parker rubs my back. “What do you want? A piece of each?”
“Sure. Get big pieces, and we’ll share.”
“Good plan.” He slides a lemon bar onto my plate and then a hunk of cake.
Once all the ladies have dessert, the ranch hands look at each other, like they’re planning strategy.
“Let me get the other platter before y’all tear each other apart.” Ava shakes her head. “When have I ever not made enough dessert?”
Mason moans as he pops a bite of cake in his mouth. “That one time you had to buy pies for church because we ate them. But we didn’t know.” He grins at Mad Dog. “And then she married you, so that’s good.”
Ava is red as a beet and waggles her finger at Mason. “Just eat, sweetie.” Then she turns toward me. “Bluebonnet honey, Parker says you’ve been crocheting. I’ve been trying to learn, but I don’t think I’ve found the right teacher on YouTube. They all work so fast.”
“They do. I’ve been making dish rags, but they all end up looking like trapezoids. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong.”
Archer leans forward, looking around Parker. “You’re probably either skipping the last stitch in the row or forgetting your turning chain.”
All other conversation at the table stops, and everyone focuses on Archer. He never says much at dinner. He’s usually quiet, but he’s managed to surprise all of us tonight.
“You know how to crochet?” I’m eager for a teacher, someone who can help me do this right.
He nods. “My memaw taught me. I don’t do it all that much anymore. But I can show you what I know.”
“I’d like that.” I smile at Parker. “Maybe I’ll finally be able to make a square.”
