She slides under the covers, then looks at me.
I shed my pajama pants and climb into my side of the bed. “Night, Bluebonnet.” I roll to my side, giving her my back.
“Good night, Dumplin’.”
In the dark, we lie there, facing away from each other. I’m far from falling asleep, and by the way she’s breathing, it’s obvious she’s awake too. But neither of us speaks.
When her phone buzzes, I glance back over my shoulder and see her pick up the phone then set it down again. And I see that it’s her mom who’s calling. Probably not to tell her congratulations.
Now the silence is heavy, like a humid night when the air sticks to you and there’s no breeze to bring relief.
Another buzz, and Bluebonnet picks up the phone. A second later, she sets it down. Then I hear a sniffle. As long as I’ve known her, I’ve never seen her cry about her mom. And, believe me, she’s had reasons to cry.
I roll over and move behind her, then drape an arm over her waist. “Hey.”
She grabs the phone and hands it to me.
I read the text from her mom.
Mom:I saw the pictures your dad posted. You made a huge mistake, but please, don’t make it worse and get pregnant. He’ll baby trap you, and then you’ll waste your youth having to take care of a kid. Learn from my mistakes and don’t let that happen.
I’m not even sure what to say. How can her mom be so awful?
Bluebonnet wipes her face with the top sheet. “I’ve baby-trapped you. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not sure that’s true. I bought the net, hung the net, then stood in place when I knew it was going to fall. Okay, so maybe that analogy doesn’t make much sense, but my point is, I knew what I was signing up for. You didn’t trap me.”
She snuggles closer. “Dad married Mom because she was pregnant with me.”
“Sounds like maybe she wasn’t the one who got trapped.”
“His family had money. And they insisted on a pre-nuptial agreement before the wedding. Dad only stayed with her because she told me that if they divorced, I’d never see my dad again. I was a means to his money. And I apparently ruined her life.”
“I don’t want your money, Bonny Blue.” I just want you. Of course I don’t say that out loud.
“I know. The trust fund is from my uncle. He died when I was really little and left everything to me. And then when my grandparents died, there was more added. I should’ve told you.”
“We’re good.”
She turns her head to look at me. “Even if it covers your dimples, I like your beard.”
I tug her up against me. “Then I’ll keep it.”
She trails her finger up and down my arm. “Now probably isn’t a good time to tell my mom about the baby.”
The edge of humor in her voice makes me smile.
“We can just send her a family photo once the baby’s here.”
“I like that idea.”
Cuddled on the bed, we lie there, and the silence doesn’t feel awkward. After a few minutes, her breathing changes, and I enjoy the closeness as I listen to her fall asleep. This is worth a million awkward or torturous moments.
I’m not sure why I was nervous about tonight, about living with her. I want to be the shoulder she cries on, to hold her when her mom throws darts, and to be the man she calls her family. Everything else is just a wish, and I can pack those away.
* * *
Wakingup to Bluebonnet snuggled behind me makes for a perfect start to the day. The sun is way above the horizon, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve slept in this late.
