“The Temple would still hunt them down. People are terrified of getting caught up in purges, and some will sell out their own brothers just to protect themselves. Anything to avoid being branded as someone who collaborates with heretics. The whole village is probably frozen with fear right now. Which is why they need us to help them.”
We have to get there and get Tiraout, along with anyone else we can save.
Leon looks at me for a long moment. Too long. My stomach drops right before he opens his mouth.
“I’m afraid we can’t do that, Ana.”
I stare at him, my heart thudding with denial. Once I was just a tool to him, a means for him to get safely to the border. I know I haven’t been that for a while, but I also thought we’d gone further—that we were close enough now for him to care about this, for my sake. I was wrong.
I watch as the dark shutters come down across his gray eyes.I’ve seen it before, the way he closes himself off, hardening himself to common decency.
“What do you mean, ‘can’t’?” I ask. “These are my friends we’re talking about. I grew up with these people.”
“And that’s precisely why it would be foolish to go,” he says. His voice is hard as stone. “Think about it. You just told me yourself purges are unusual—even the Trovians wouldn’t tolerate the Temple killing off their kids every other week—so isn’t it a startling coincidence that your village happened to be chosen for one?”
“Who cares if it’s a coincidence? The important thing is we know what’s coming, and we can help them.”
“There’ll be a bearer there, Ana. It’s a trap. Not for the people in your village. Foryou.”
“So what?” I want to scream. I want to kick something. Anything to break through the deadly calm of Leon’s attitude. “It’s still the people in my village who will have to pay the price, whether I’m there or not. Do you really expect me to stand by and just let that happen? We’ve taken on the cleavers before; why is this different?”
“Because our priority is getting to the border, and nothing can get in the way of that.”
“Unless you feel like taking a detour to Hallowbane,” I point out. “But that’s fine I suppose, because we were doing something actually important, right? Nothing pointless like saving the lives of some human peasants.”
“I didn’t say that,” Leon argues, but I can see my anger isn’t budging him an inch. He’s made up his mind, and I’m powerless to change it. My desperation spikes.
“You’re the Nightmare Prince, for gods’ sake,” I blurt out, tempted to beg. “Your unit are the most dangerous group of people I’ve ever seen! You could do this—you could help them.” My voice drops to a normal volume. “Please.”
Something flickers in his eyes, but he looks away from my face, rising to guide me toward the cabin door.
“We’re heading to the border. That’s final.”
A dozen different insults come to my mind.Mercenary.Heartless.Monster.But I keep them inside. Hurling them at this man wouldn’t make any difference. They don’t need to be said aloud for us to both know they’re true.
“Fine,” I say as we step out to where the other soldiers sit, talking and playing cards. “Then go to the border, and I’ll go to Otscold alone.”
Even on my own, I can still make a difference. If there’s even a shred of a chance I can help Tira, I’ll do what it takes.
Leon sighs, long and low, like he’s in pain.
“You won’t be going to Otscold either. I told you, it’s too dangerous.”
I wrench my arm away from his hand.
“You don’t need me anymore. I can go where I want.”
“I need youalive,” he says. At last, some emotion burns in his eyes, intense and inflexible. “I didn’t save you from that palace, didn’t train you up these last few weeks, for you to throw your life away. You’ll come with us to the border, and then you’ll go somewhere safe. That’s all.”
Rage boils in my veins. I could burn through this whole ship if I let myself. He knows what Tira means to me—he’s been in my head, seen how she’s practically a sister to me—and he doesn’t care.
Damia was right. She tried to warn me, and I didn’t listen to her.
I hate him. And hate myself for ever thinking he was something other than a ruthless soldier who cared about nothing but his own agenda. Isn’t that what won him the war? Isn’t that what makes him the man they whisper about in horror stories? I shake my head now, amazed at everything I closed my eyes to when I climbed into a killer’s bed.
Leon keeps going on about letting go. But though I’m burning with anger, I don’t release it. Just like I used to, I school my features into a peaceful mask, locking my true feelings away. I need to help Tira; that’s my focus now, and this will help me do it.
“Fine,” I say.
